elle naturelle Posted February 27, 2005 Posted February 27, 2005 First of all her kid is freakin out on a guys feet. Then she finds its HIM. In the midst of that with nerves flying, perhaps it was not ideal but... because of that guys run for the hills. Can you comment on my situation on recent posts at 'hes just not that into you ... or is he?'.... I need to know whether I should wait for someone to call me or call him once his boy goes back to his moms at the end of the weekend. I hear guys also like to cahse a little before they commit, but he did call teh last few times and I dont want to leave everything up to him.
alphamale Posted February 27, 2005 Posted February 27, 2005 Originally posted by elle naturelle Can you comment on my situation on recent posts at 'hes just not that into you ... or is he?'.... I need to know whether I should wait for someone to call me or call him once his boy goes back to his moms at the end of the weekend. yes i will have to look @ it tomorrow. leaving now for a best buddy's 40th b-day party.
Author Linlin Posted February 27, 2005 Author Posted February 27, 2005 He didn't seem freaked. It was me being embarrassed. I didn't want him to think that I showed up there because he was there. I never knew what theatre he was even going to nor the time. That was the only reason that I was embarassed. He was smiling. When I said do you want a kid. He just laughed and said that he already had 6 with him. He didn't try to run away. I ended the conversation by saying see/talk to you later. Not sure what my response should have been. I was trying to make light of the situation. It's not like I haven't talked to him since last Saturday. As I said before, he emailed me the next morning and said he had a good time and asked how my day was going. We have emailed each other back and forth about 8 times during the week. I think I will just drop him a line saying that I was just caught off guard seeing him there and in front of the kids and I certainly didn't want to impose on his daughter's birthday and it wasn't time to talk with the kids around. I'll leave it at that and see what his response is.
alphamale Posted February 27, 2005 Posted February 27, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin I think I will just drop him a line saying that I was just caught off guard seeing him there and in front of the kids and I certainly didn't want to impose on his daughter's birthday and it wasn't time to talk with the kids around. I'll leave it at that and see what his response is. I wouldn't do that
Author Linlin Posted February 27, 2005 Author Posted February 27, 2005 Why? Explain from the male perspective. Could I be making more out of it than it seems?
alphamale Posted February 27, 2005 Posted February 27, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin Why? Explain from the male perspective. Could I be making more out of it than it seems? there is no need to explain anything to him. you are just using it as an excuse to contact him. I think you have already expressed your interest, now just sit back and see what he does. if he does not contact you within two weeks then you have your answer.
elle naturelle Posted February 27, 2005 Posted February 27, 2005 Just say, it was nice seeing you and look forward to seeing you again soon... without the kids... Thoughts ALPHAMALE?
Author Linlin Posted February 27, 2005 Author Posted February 27, 2005 Yes, help us out. I have been out of this dance for 16 years remember. Are you saying that by emailing him to make sure he knows that I didn't mean to run into him and that it was a coincident, may be perceived as trying too hard with him?
elle naturelle Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 definitely wait for him... my 'interest' called and now i know he is equally interested. it was definitely worth the wait.
whichwayisup Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 there is no need to explain anything to him. you are just using it as an excuse to contact him. I think you have already expressed your interest, now just sit back and see what he does. if he does not contact you within two weeks then you have your answer I agree with Alpha 100% except for that last part. If you have not heard from him ONE week then I would call him again. Then after if he doesn't return your call, you have your answer. Thing about it, don't email him and ask him, alpha is right, you do not owe him any explanation and if you say anything to him about it (let him bring it up) he'll wonder how much thinking you've put into it all. Most men's thought patterns are not like ours. They don't analyze this and that, over think like we do.
elle naturelle Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Trying this not calling thing and it works... If he is thinking about you, he will call. Guys like this chasing thing apparently, so if you really like him and think he feels the same way, leave it in his hands.... do not call! Just a thought...
iceisles Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Most men's thought patterns are not like ours. They don't analyze this and that, over think like we do. That's not true! We often analyze how to see through a string bikini on TV or how to fix a leaky pipe by sitting on our a$$. You're not giving us enough credit.
Author Linlin Posted February 28, 2005 Author Posted February 28, 2005 I did leave it alone and did not do anything. Low and below about a half an hour ago I got an email from him. He just asked if I liked the movie and he could have like to talk but sorry he couldn't with everything going on. He also sent me a joke and said that he would talk to me later. There is me getting all worked up about running into him and worrying that he might read something into it and all he thought was "sorry he couldn't talk to me longer." Oh, this game is crazy. I really need to stop overanalyzing. What did you say, " slow down, relax and breathe"
iceisles Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin Oh, this game is crazy. I really need to stop overanalyzing. What did you say, " slow down, relax and breathe" Yeah, just take a deep breath and relax. Maybe watch a hockey game. Oh, wait...
Author Linlin Posted February 28, 2005 Author Posted February 28, 2005 Perhap play, I mean watch a BALL game instead...
iceisles Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin Perhap play, I mean watch a BALL game instead... I like to watch anything with balls.
Author Linlin Posted February 28, 2005 Author Posted February 28, 2005 So will I but I think for a different reason than you sometimes...
Mz. Pixie Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Linlin- What kind of discussions have you guys had leading up to the date? Intense conversation or what? I have some reasons for asking. Been out of the dating scene for over 15 years myself. Met BF at lunch one day and we began a email/phone thing. Then a little bit later we had our first date. It's very much a scary thing, this dating again and I can relate to what you are feeling. I wouldn't give him an explanation. There is no possible way you could have known what time he would be there. BF has a child he has partial custody of and I have partial custody of my children. They way we make it work is that I scheduled my visitation during the time that he had his. That way during our down time we are both free. That may not work for you and honestly, we had lots of discussions about things like this before we really got serious. We have had lots of serious talks about what we expect in a relationship. He was afraid of being the rebound guy. It's all about communication. True, I've never met a guy as into communication as BF is. I think on the fifth date that he asked me to be exclusive. If I were you at this point, I'd be nice and let him know you're interested but let him do the actual calling etc. What's this guys situation? How long has he been divorced?? What happened? All of those factors could impact exactly how it might play out.
elle naturelle Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 ... isnt she analyzing enough at this stage? Just go on the next few dates before planning your lives together.... He emailed / called... he is interested. Linlin, enjoy the fun and get to know him... there are many fish in the sea and you deserve a BIG (oops I mean great) one....
iceisles Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by elle naturelle there are many fish in the sea and you deserve a BIG (oops I mean great) one.... There may be many fish in the sea, but I think I need a bigger rod.
alphamale Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles There may be many fish in the sea, but I think I need a bigger rod. nope, you need a mercedes and a big house on the lake. oh, and a yacht never hurts either.
iceisles Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale nope, you need a mercedes and a big house on the lake. oh, and a yacht never hurts either. Are you saying a Ford Taurus and a modest condo can't cut it anymore? Damn.
Author Linlin Posted February 28, 2005 Author Posted February 28, 2005 Basically mutual close friends set us up. Knowing what I am like and what he is like they thought that we would have alot in common and they were right. We emailed each other a couple of times and right away I could tell there was a connection. One our first date, after an hour it was very clear that we could really be into each other. Unless, I am a total idiot and he is totally playing me but I don't think so. Like I said before, we are both close to 40 so I am not sure how much either one of us will be into game playing. He has been separated about 1 1/2 for the final time. They were back and forth a few times. He and his ex are very civil. They have their custody worked out 3 months ahead of time. She has alot of past baggage and alot of psychological problems that she is getting help with now and has a live in boyfriend. I have been separated a year and will be filing for my divorce in the near future. I have had a few flings up until this point but no one with any real interest. I have my kids and my ex is an a$$ who usually only takes them 1 night a week. Very difficult to get him to take them more. But my family is great and they will watch the kids anytime for me. Hopefully we can get together this weekend since he doesn't have his kid this weekend. We'll see how the emails go.
Mz. Pixie Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Yes, we are both in our late 30's too- so neither of us were into games. If he were only interested in you for sex- he wouldn't have contacted you after the first time IMO. I do agree we all tend to analyze things too much- I do this too with my BF. I think it's because I'm unsure of myself having been out of the scene so long. This is only the 2nd guy I've dated since my separation. The first one turned out to be a real player. We had three dates and it was over pretty quick. I was thankful I didn't have sex with him. What's funny about my relationship is BF analyzes everything too. He is like the Dr Phil of relationships or something ha ha. No, seriously he learned alot when he went through marriage counseling. After the second session his wife decided she wouldn't come back, but he continue to go for about nine sessions. He wanted to find out if he was doing everything he could and the counselor confirmed that he had. Dating is soooo hard- hang in there and enjoy it!
Butterfly28 Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Look who are we kidding here?!? Most of us, both men and women, know thru experience that sex on first date is usually either a ONS or becomes a short-term sexual thing. And that is fine if you want that. Sometimes it works out OK but not often. I've have sex on first date prob 7 or 8 times and the relationship never lasted more than 2 or 3 months, if that. I personally wish that more women put out on the first or second date. I would have a great time. I had sex with my bf on our first date. We've been together for 6 months. He shows every interest in me I could possibly imagine. Loves my friends, my family, shows genuine interest. I met him over the internet, and we spoke for 3 months before we even met. When we did, it was instant attraction in the flesh. We knew what each other looked like of course via web cam, and heard each others voices. So, no, I don't necessarily think that ALL women/men who have sex on the first date it leads to something short term. I guess it all depends on what both parties are looking for! ....and yes, I have to agree, WE ALL HAVE NEEDS, AND WE ARE ALL HUMAN!
Recommended Posts