PersonaPersona Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Hang in there. These last couple of months have been a roller coaster for me, and I have had my good days and my occasional bad days. A few months back I found LoveShack hoping to find the answers to everything. Checking in every day, reading new posts, re-reading old ones, and posting my story as well. I was hurting, I was shocked. But, it was such a wake up call for me. My self confidence had gone down the drain, I kept asking myself "What's wrong with me? What did I do?" and it kept bothering me for weeks. Until I said "You know what? F*** feeling this way all the time" and I forced myself to get up, brush the dust off my shoulders, and get my act together. Why? Because, 'sure as hell no else was gonna do it. So, like many others suggested, I tried going NC at first. Problem is, I was constantly breaking it because my ex would send me breadcrumbs and I'd be dumb enough to answer to it. You know what it did? Create more problems and unanswered questions. So, today I decided to create a list of things to keep in mind after a breakup that I had to learn the hard way: 1. Maintain STRICT No Contact: This means blocking their number, on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Skype, whatever else. Don't check their profile, don't ask your friends about how they are, forget about them. Completely. 2. Do NOT go looking for answers/closure: I tried everything. I was a fool. I tried asking them why they broke up with me. I got different answers every time, which ultimately made me confused and hurt more than I initially was. Seriously, let it be. It's the best you can do. Does not matter what excuse they used, it all leads down to the very simple fact: They no longer want to be with you. Learning that you need to accept that is the only answer you need. 3. Do NOT bottle up your feelings: For the longest time, I was acting like I did not give a crap about the break up. I just thought that if I acted like I didn't care, everything would be sugar and rainbows and I'd forget about it in no time. Nope. Don't do that. Cry, scream, let your anger out. Talk to people. Get out there. Whatever you have to do to let it all out, go ahead. Anything BUT talking to them. 4. Do NOT try to be friends with your ex!: *sigh* Oh man, I don't know WHY the hell I tried this. Seriously, it's not even worth it. I tried being friends with my ex and all I wanted to do was hold them, and kiss them, but I couldn't. It was awkward, our conversations were mostly silent with one or two words *shivers*. There is no way two people can be friends when one still has feelings for another. It creates problems like jealousy. Who wants to be in an awkward atmosphere where you're basically being friend-zoned all the time? Not you, I hope. 5. Do NOT let the depression consume you: Instead, use it as a fuel to better yourself. Look at yourself and see what you can change. Don't do it for them, do it for yourself. At the end of the day, the only person that loves you the most in this world is YOU. Go out there and do what you never had time to do. Learn to accept what has happened. All in all, there are some people that you cannot just forget that easily. You will always think of the person they were to you, and how you were when with them. You may still feel that rush through your body when you hear their name or see a picture of them. It's a risk worth taking when it comes to falling in love. Never forgetting someone isn't necessarily a bad thing. Because something you may not know is that breaking up with someone doesn't always mean that they no longer exist, sometimes it means realizing that you can exist too. 4
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