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dating 2 men who are best friends


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Posted

First time using this advice column. So I began dating this guy for a week or so. His friend came out one fo the nights and I just felt that I truly clicked with him(plus his friend was leaving in a couple of months). I stopped taking the phone calls of the first guy I was dating--Friend A and since I work with both of them (the same building) I was able to get in touch with the his friend (friend B). He actually agreed to go out with me and we secretly dated for a couple of weeks. Meanwhile his friend A kept calling and calling me but I wouldnt take the phone calls. His friend told me if I hung out with friend A then he would not hang out with anymore. So i didnt take the calls.

 

Unfortunately--the friend B told me he doesnt want a relationship, hates the phone so only calls me once in a while, and hangs out wiht me maybe once a week give or take. I took it as a challenge but then simply got frusterated and upset with his lack of enthusiasm over me. I know I deserve better (valentines day he called to say hi but when I asked him to hang out he said he couldnt he had plans with his buddies-) So I decided to give them both up as I didnt want to look desperate/slutty etc going back and forth. (I have NOT had sex with either one)

 

2 days ago---I am a nurse-- the one who I first dated-friend A was sick and one of my patients ( he had surgery). I COULDNT NOT BELIEVE IT So.. I was in the room with him most of the night, we had a great talk-he told me how much he had been wanting to talk to me and get to know me and was upset that I hadnt retunred his calls etc. he asked me to dinner this wk and I said yes and I really do want to go. So the problem::

-I really want to go with him BUT

-I have not had any closure really with the friend B (I went on vacat and told him id talk to him when I got back--i have been back for a while i havent called but neither has he ( he has family in town right now)

-I dont know what to tell friend B the reason that I am going to hang out with his friend--like I said I dont want to seem desperate that I am looking for any guy who gives me attention a nd I had planned to end it with both but after our great conversation I want to hang out with him--its nice to hang out wiht someone who really really likes you especially after youve just been with someone who wants a FWB.

 

So how do I handle this situation. They are both great guys--its just at the time I knew that one is staying and one is leaving town in a few months so I picked the one who was staying and had more in common with (or so I thought at the time)

 

Now I just want to be with someone who wants to be with me- a rareity these days

Posted

well....... im in a similar situation. Its a hard decision either way. I want you to know I understand though. waiting to see advice from others to maybe help with my sitation

Posted

I would choose guy A. Guy B doesn't seem that interested in you if he never wants to call you and just hang out one night a week. You weren't in a serious relationship with either one of these guys so it shouldn't be too sticky of a situation.

Posted

Threesome, anyone?

 

:laugh:

 

Sorry, I know that wasn't the least bit helpful, I just couldn't resist... :o

 

 

 

 

PS: A is the correct answer choice.

Posted

Since friend B told you that he didn't want a relationship, he has no right to give jealousy reactions to you hanging out with friend A. You can talk to or hang out with whomever you please when you are in a non-committed situation.

 

Friend A, if he's still interested after you blew him off, seems like the best choice though.

 

Roxy

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