generic person Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 My Ex of four years left 12 months ago over the phone with no explination and I have been seeing another girl for the past few months (its not facebook official haha) but basically its nearly a full relationship. I go to the gym 4 days a week, surf, freedive have an awsome new career and have basically next to no contact with my ex. some times she replies a few times to a message then randomly stops, then the next time i contact her she replies a few times etc, anyway we have a little banter over text. My friend mentioned to me the other day when we were talking about ex's "you really loved her didn't you" and ever since he said that I think i just realised that i still do love her, i'm not upset or weeping around the house but i have been thinking about her more then my new girl.. how long does it usually take to get over an ex partner?, am i over her and just remanissing on old memories or am i just scared to completely give myself and let go to my new girl.
lauri Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 You aren't in NC. Why are you texting her still? Do you have any idea how weak that makes you appear after a year? Its over between you two by her lack luster responses to you and the simple fact that you are still around. Getting over someone isn't something you can really put a time frame on. I think that you need to stop worrying about when you will be over her and start doing the right things to get there. Assuming you haven't (which it appears you may have not) 1) Delete her number and never contact her again 2) Delete her from all social media You can't cut corners or do things half way when trying to move on. You have to take all the right steps. 2
Butterflying Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 If you still love her then it's in your best interest to find out rather she is still in love with you. After that, unfortunately I don't know what you should do because I'm in that exact same position. My XBF and I have been apart for over 2 years. He has been living with his new girlfriend in another city for most of that time. At first we had absolutely no contact for about six months. Then I had a birthday. He sent me a card in the mail. I sent a text message to thank him and let him know I received it. Then no contact again until several months later on his birthday. I sent him a card. He sent me a long email confessing how emotional he got when he received his card. That led to an emotional reply from me admitting I still love him too. And he sounds just like you... has a great job, goes away with the girlfriend every few months on vacation, has been introduced to all of each others friends and family. Their lives are completely intertwined. Yet not a day goes by when he doesn't think about me and regret that we broke up. He hasn't said he wants to get back together with me. But he has said he doesn't see a long-term future with the current girlfriend. If your girlfriend still loves you too, then you two should consider getting back together. But you will have to dump the current girlfriend and that might be a challenge. If she doesn't love you, then you should stop communicating with her entirely. Give into your current girlfriend wholeheartedly. One day you will wake up and realize you no longer care how the ex feels.
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