Boymeetsgirl Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 So I'm visiting mutual friends soon and we have invited my ex gf. At first she said yeah that would be nice to meet.. But now she had backed out saying she is not ready to meet up just yet and that it would make her feel uncomfortable. She has a new bf. We have been separated over 2 months. Mostly no contact. I wont be visiting the area she lives in again as we live in different states now. I will be in the area for a few days so I have said we could meet up just me and her if the group situation would be uncomfortable. She replied saying that would be even worse! Question is.. if she doesn't love me anymore and is in a new relationship that has likely to be going on for months, why is she bothered about meeting me or not? She broke up with me as her feelings had supposedly changed.
Iris17 Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 I can understand where she is coming from, she doesn't meet you probably because she really is not ready and you need to respect that. It could also be because she is now in a relationship which still seems new, meeting up with you as an ex might cause problems in her new relationship. She is respecting her new relationship and her new bf. You need to respect whatever she choses to do and not make a deal out of it. Yes meeting up with just you and her right now is even worse. I totally understand where she is coming from.
veggirl Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 She probably feels like it'll lead you on and that's awkward. it's for the best you don't meet, why do you want to so badly?
Author Boymeetsgirl Posted August 9, 2014 Author Posted August 9, 2014 I have told her I'm fine with her decision and if she changes her mind I'll be in the area. I'm not pushing anything and I don't want to see her so badly as you put it. It would be a real shame if we didn't meet as we were really close friends as well as a couple. I know that is over now.. but I am flying in to her state to visit other friends and family and I probably won't be there again this year.. maybe for years. So another chance to meet is highly unlikely
ExpatInItaly Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 I have told her I'm fine with her decision and if she changes her mind I'll be in the area. I'm not pushing anything and I don't want to see her so badly as you put it. It would be a real shame if we didn't meet as we were really close friends as well as a couple. I know that is over now.. but I am flying in to her state to visit other friends and family and I probably won't be there again this year.. maybe for years. So another chance to meet is highly unlikely Well, unfortunately, that's what happens when you break up. She is also respecting her current relationship by not meeting you. It's not exactly the most appropriate thing to do. She has told you no, so I'd leave it at that.
Author Boymeetsgirl Posted August 9, 2014 Author Posted August 9, 2014 (edited) I have respected her decision. This was never meant to be a thread about how I can get her to meet. She's said no and that was the end of that. I am merely trying to understand her reasoning for not being ready yet. Edited August 9, 2014 by Boymeetsgirl
ExpatInItaly Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 I have respected her decision. This was never meant to be a thread about how I can get her to meet. She's said no and that was the end of that. I am merely trying to understand her reasoning for not being ready yet. Maybe she is respecting her new relationship. Strange how all respect for a former lover/best friend goes out the window when someone new is in the picture. But that's another thread all together. Everything I say and do is going to get reported back to her by our friends.. I know this. So I will have to refrain from opening up to friends who are going to ask lots of questions about my feelings and why we broke up. Yes, you will. You can give a general idea but they don't need details. I don't see why they'd need to know this anyway, even if they weren't close to her. As for her reasoning, it's only been 2 months. I wasn't ready to see my ex either after such a short time. It stirs up uncomfortable feelings. And you're not her priority any longer, which is why she's also respecting her current boyfriend by not meeting you. You're not just a former best friend, you said it yourself. You were her long-time love. It's not a great idea to be hanging out at this point, whether it's in a group and particularly not one-on-one. (She was right - that is worse) It's not that hard to understand, really. 1
Author Boymeetsgirl Posted August 9, 2014 Author Posted August 9, 2014 It's strange how someone we thought we knew so well acts completely alien towards you. Really didn't see her ignoring me, not contacting me and refusing to meet me ever. Sad times when the person you once loved becomes totally different and you've basically been replaced. I am slowly moving on.. this break up seems to be the hardest yet. But I'm at a place where I am comfortable to meet and it may even do us some good. Obviously she isn't comfortable and it's sad to think we possibly won't get another chance to meet up ever due to the distance.
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