Arguy Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 This is background story, the real question comes in at the emoticon if you would rather not read this I have been dealing with so much insecurity in my relationships. It seems that whenever something small and minor happens it sort of puts me into a slump and I start to think what ifs... and i dislike that. In the end it was never an actual problem however. So, I have been with my Girlfriend for 1 year now and I'm scared because I feel like I care too much. I know she cares for me too, and is someone I can trust but there are times that I am very confident when I say that I care more than she does. Her personality is very free and the way I perceive it is as follows; if we broke up she would most likely bounce back much quicker than I would (I would be destroyed). Her on the other hand is constantly being hit on and what not, though she is faithful, and she would not cheat. But my real question comes in here. I am constantly thinking about her, I do not smother her, but she is on my mind way too often and its becoming distracting. and when I feel crappy like something is wrong i go into a slump and do nothing but think about it. I need to find a distraction. I want to get out there and meet new people (guys and girls: I'm talking just friends here) have more adventure without my girl and also with her. I think it would be good for me. I want something that will allow me to bounce back in happiness, not sink into depression, just in case things go south (Not saying they will, hopefully not). any ideas on how to do this? Or does anyone understand what I am trying to accomplish?? I have a few best friends but something is missing. I want to feel happy with myself, only then, will I truly be happy in the relationship, as well as not over think everything. i need to put myself out there dont know how to do it effectively. (I am a College Student)
Author Arguy Posted August 9, 2014 Author Posted August 9, 2014 When you say you would be devastated if your relationship ended, that tells me that you don't have enough going on in your life. Your life can't be all about your girlfriend. If it is, and you lose that girlfriend, what does that leave you with? Devastation. You need to branch out a bit. I care about my girlfriend, but if she were to break things off with me, I wouldn't be devastated, because my life has so much more than just my relationship with her. I have hobbies that I really love, I have aspirations that I am working towards, I have a career that I enjoy, I have some great friends that I can hang out with, ect. If my relationship were to end, sure, I would be upset, but I wouldn't be devastated, because I would only be losing a part of my life, not everything that I live for. Does this all make sense to you? yes it does. That's the thing, I have great friends and a great college career thus far, with a high gpa in a field that is always in demand, my family is a great one, if I look at things as a whole, everything is absolutely great. Yet I still feel like this, not sure what it is that makes me feel down all the time. and I want to go 100 percent in the relationship but that scares me, because my last one didnt end well. it might sound weird, but in a way I kinda do not want to care so much
todreaminblue Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 when i break up with someone i know eventually i will get over it even no matter how i know it is going to hurt like hell i always get over it.....i actually do prefer the person i have broken up with to get over it fast because i would rather not think someone i care about is unhappy......it would hurt me more.....i know if it was just a relationship i wanted i could have that, most people can,not just me, nearly everyone can find someone to be with or get offers..... but the right person to be with is harder to discern......so i dont jump into a relationship just to be in one you cant be in a relationship worrying about the end of it....you just cant.....just like you cant live worrying about your death constantly.....you need to be in the relationship not thinking about it ending live it and enjoy it nurture and complete it .live yoru life and love who you love now........no matter what happens do you best be your best and love your best....let all the negatives be talked about openly and honestly never let the sun go down on doubt........dont look into the future possible negatives set your sights on aspirations and dreams and hopes and goals, aspire not lower......i dont expect relationships of mien to end so when they do its a shock.....because i am committed to making it work......i wouldnt have it any other way ......commit to your relationship 100 per cent when you reach that 100 per cent commit to ten per cent more dont hold back and the regrets you have will be minimized.......best of luck ....deb
mortensorchid Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 Guy, don't fall into this trap. I see a lot of people who have so much to be happy about with their SO, and then they throw it away. Why? They are afraid or don't want to take things to the next level. What is the big deal about taking it to the next level? If you love this woman, you're both happy, then what is wrong with being with that person long term? I am so tired of seeing people throw things away with perfectly good people only to rebound to a bottom feeder and try to make it work with that trash. Trashy guys / girls are fun, but they will let you down ultimately. If everything is fine, STAY with her. 1
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