Leaving Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 Me & X Best friend have known each other almost our whole lives we were like brothers we did everything together. When my parents died his parents gave me a place to stay becoming the only family I had left. In a million years never would I imagine that a person I treated like family could hurt me so badly cause so much pain and tear my life apart. It has been over a year since his betrayal and now I find myself wanting to make new friends, but really having a hard time trusting people after what he has done to me and every time I finds myself opening up that sinking feeling comes in that can I really trust this person and it always ends with me cutting them loose. Lately I have been hanging out with a guy I have known since high school when we’re in school we hung out with two different crowd’s sometimes running into each other’s at parties and other social events. After high school he moved away got married and then divorce moved back a few months ago. I ran into him at my fav burger joint we caught up. We finds out we have a lot in common and lately have been hanging out almost every day now it was going good until he tells me that he consider me as a close friend and made his move back home a lot easier and now that annoying feeling of trust is starting to sink back in. I really don’t want to mess up another friendship with a person that has done nothing wrong any suggestions.
2sunny Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Just be a friend. Don't think all people are like your exBF and exW. Build NEW memories with new people.
preraph Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 I really understand how you feel. I had an old school friend I'd known since middle school and for 17 years betray me in a bad way. It was out of envy. After I calmed down enough, I made her tell me what was going on in her head, and then I just kicked her out of my life. It sucked. After that, I literally never trusted anyone again. I don't think I ever will. But it's true that not everyone would do that. It's also true though that different people place value on differnt things and if the exact right circumstance came along, I think it's possible everyone has their price. Main lesson I learned is don't take them back after they betray you. There had been a minor but embarrassing betrayal by her in high school when she was trying to impress a new girl and I stopped hanging with her then but then ran into her in college and she was the only person I knew there, so ended up friends again -- and that was a mistake. I'm so sorry this happened to you. At some point in a new friendship you'll have to let them know the type of betrayals that are deal breakers for you and find out how ethical they are in that regard. I probably will never fully trust anyone again, but I also am not going to let the careless and sick actions of one person keep me from living a good life and having fun and making new friends, so don't you either. Most people are better than that.
Author Leaving Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 Just be a friend. Don't think all people are like your exBF and exW. Build NEW memories with new people. I’m at a point in my life where I’m not going to letting past event control my life but instead seeing them as an opportunity to grow and learn from. Since my divorce I have discovered love all over again and starting family of my own.my life have improved a great deal for gave up my bad habits, going back to school, getting into shape and finding peace because in the long run I’m going to be alright. it’s just this issue of trust I have right now that slowing me from growing any further I’m trying my best to trust and move forward and make new friends and lately I’ve been doing ok with my buddy who I went school with we get along great and I really like hanging out with him and having fun and hopefully I’ll be able to fully trust him one day without having my guard up it’s a learning process that I’m learning. 1
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