coralvanstrom Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 This will be a long post, but I almost didnt make it through my first childbirth and i might not make it again so here we go. I’m currently pregnant, my boyfriend and I were seperated for a month, he had ignored me right before we broke up not telling me what he wanted. Well we had gotten back together about a month ago and then this past weekend i offended him because a friend tried to make drama, i stupidly fell for my friends trick not realizing what had happend was before my bf and I had gotten back together but I had already done the damage and i apologized instantly (he didnt read the message til he got off work late at night) and i tried calling the next day to try to see and talk to him he said “Im kinda mad at you right now and im kinda busy so im gonna go” well monday no message from him, but i apologized. Tuesday i called him to see if he wanted to go to my obgyn appointment wednesday as he has missed alot of them and it was supposed to be a ultrasound visit he said “I dont know because of how early it is” because he works late i figured okay then, and i tried talking to him about what happend and he said “I’m just afraid of the same stuff happening over and over again” and I said it wont ever again and im trying to make up for it and hes like “it seems like it already has” I apologized again and so i told him i wanted us to be able to work things out just please don’t cut off contact from me again so that we can get through this. He said okay well im gonna go need to get cigs and hung up before I could say I love you or bye or anything. So wednesday, pretty much an emergency happend at the obgyn appointment, they said we need to monitor you for pre-term labor and decrease in fetal movement and i should call my boyfriend. Everyone panicked and tried to get ahold of him as I tried and he didnt answer so everyone tried over and over again, his mom finally got ahold of him and said he was on the way. He got there said “You arent even in real labor, my mom said you are in labor” I said no i told everyone what it was and i was just being monitored and everyone including the doctors thought it was important you be there incase something were to happen to the baby and i know you woulda felt like crap over it. Well, 10 minutes after he gets there (mind you i’d been there for 2 hours already) nurse says “you are fine, you can go home” he said “well im gonna go then okay?” i said okay and he turned back at me and said "Btw i pawned my laptop to get here" I said why? and he said "Didnt have gas money." only to find out through his mom she had sent him ten bucks for gas in his account and had no reason to pawn his laptop as she said. And then he just walked out nothing else said and i saw he lingered by the door as i saw his shoes peeking over and then left. I messaged him asking what he wanted from me yesterday and what i could do to just fix things so we can move past this, read the message didnt respond. So here I am today, haven’t messaged him at all. I know I should not contact him, I just don't know what I can really do at this point.He reads my messages doesnt respond =[ I just want to know if im wasting what little time i might have left or if he might possibly come around and just wants space even though he hasnt said it besides that one sunday because we did talk on the phone tuesday, but hasnt kept in contact with me at all. =[
spiderowl Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 I am sorry to hear your story. I must admit there are some bits I don't understand but the main point seems to be your partner is not communicating with you and does not seem to want to make the effort to. You have apologised for whatever misdemeanour or misunderstanding you think happened. I don't think there is any more you can do. It sounds like he isn't interested in continuing at the moment. It could be he needs to cool off. Personally, I think doing anything to contact him or chase him to try to get him back with you would do you more harm than good. Let him miss you! If he misses you, he will get back in touch eventually. If he doesn't miss you, then why would you want this guy back? He's either not very caring or he thinks you are making things up. Why would he think that? Regardless, you need to look after yourself now and assume he's not going to be there. If the guy cannot be supportive and caring to you in your circumstances, he's not the kind of guy who is going to be good for you in the long run, no matter what ways you try to keep contact with him. I hope all goes well for you with the pregnancy and you and the baby are safe and well.
Author coralvanstrom Posted August 8, 2014 Author Posted August 8, 2014 Thank you =[ When we had gotten back together he said he wasnt going to redo all the same stuff he did before such as ignoring me etc and that he had no excuse to act the way he had before. Now all of a sudden him doing this is just a big slap to the face. Good for three weeks and then i had a little fallout him not accepting my apology though i had taken him back after all he had done to me before. Its just utter crap.
Poppyolive Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 I'm sorry to gear you're going through a difficult time. Your focus needs to be on you and yitr child....ONLY. This is a grown man here, capable of making decisions and should know right from wrong. You need to stop chasing him. He's treating you like garbage and you are running around trying to make it better. That's his job. You can't play two roles in the relationship. He is holding you in contempt. This man whatever it is that's going on is not well. He is clearly showing you be doesn't give a ****, so why are you running after him? Why allow this dynamic to continue? You can't make someone care about you especially if they are shoeing you they don't. Please, refrain from messaging him, calling him, you too are not well for not seeing the light he is in. Take care of yourself,rest your mind, surround yourself with people who love and care about you.
Author coralvanstrom Posted August 9, 2014 Author Posted August 9, 2014 Hes only 24 and anytime ive tried to get advice from his mom she makes excuses for him and has stayed in an abusive relationship herself =[ and i notice he has that guys tendencies, he'd never hit a woman and we've never really gotten into a yelling match at eachother besides me sometimes so its why i think he keeps taking communication breaks.
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