Mary Oak Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 So, my ex and I broke up two years ago. I dated someone else for almost a year on and off but she decide to end that too. That sucked too as I enjoyed spending time with her. We are still friends and spend time together but there is no intimacy, which I miss. I am 44. And I really have no desire to go out and meet someone. None whatsoever. But I know I am not getting any younger and I want a companion. Also, my ex is with someone, whom I think is way below her standards. But that is where she is at, so be it. For some reason it doesn't really bother me that she is with her. I mean, it DOES bother me but I don't obsess over it. Though this other woman is probably a reason I could never go back with ex (not that that is even an option). Questions are 1) why don't I feel like I want to go out and meet anyone yet I do want a relationship so badly. And 2) why do I feel so nonchalant about this other woman? Thoughts??
me85 Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 I feel the same way. Lol I have zero desire to be in a RS, yet I miss companionship. Very much so. It sounds like you're just lonely.
Zahara Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 Questions are 1) why don't I feel like I want to go out and meet anyone yet I do want a relationship so badly. And 2) why do I feel so nonchalant about this other woman? Thoughts?? Because you are still invested in your ex. There is no room in your heart and brain to feel good and optimistic about dating and meeting new people. I can't date until I am over someone and if I do, it's mostly because I'm seeking someone to fill a void and that's always very shortlived.
Author Mary Oak Posted August 8, 2014 Author Posted August 8, 2014 Well, I have resolved myself to the point that I may not ever truly get over this girl. I can't changed my heart and my feelings, and I was the one wrong in the relationship, so I figure this is my plight. I think I will always love her more than anyone else, but .... That doesn't mean I don't want love again. I know I can love again. I just have no desire to try to find it and I know it will not come knocking one door, lol. Just sad to think I will continue to be alone.
me85 Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 Well, I have resolved myself to the point that I may not ever truly get over this girl. I can't changed my heart and my feelings, and I was the one wrong in the relationship, so I figure this is my plight. I think I will always love her more than anyone else, but .... That doesn't mean I don't want love again. I know I can love again. I just have no desire to try to find it and I know it will not come knocking one door, lol. Just sad to think I will continue to be alone. This makes me sad. I have all the same thoughts and feelings too but I'm in a place where I'm perfectly content with being single. I will never settle again and that's a very healthy attitude to have when it comes to your life. I'm fully in charge of it and where it goes. Well, I happen to believe that God is really in charge but I still decide on what I do. Look, we all make mistakes. What good is doing to sit around and relive those mistakes over and over in your mind?? You are choosing to be stuck. We all do this to ourselves. It's crazy! Eventually you will get tired of the negative thoughts you think and rid them from your mind. These are just thoughts in your head. You feel hurt and you have to let that run it's course & pass on it's own, (and it will) there's nothing you can do about a feeling...but your mind will trap you with ridiculous thoughts and imprison you...if you let it. Please don't think you'll be alone forever MaryOak, you won't. I promise! 1
Author Mary Oak Posted August 9, 2014 Author Posted August 9, 2014 I don't mean it to sound sad. It just is. I want to live again and I may. But I just feel I will always love her. After all, I don't think love does just because they stop loving you. It doesn't work that way, though I wish it did. I am also content being alone. It is better to me alone than with someone that makes you feel lonely. Constantly trying to get them to reach you like you reach them?? I am done with that. So I ok with being alone, it is just that I messed up so bad in our relationship and I know she loved me a lot. I feel like I screwed myself. It is just that being alone has become the norm for me now, but I really want to connect with someone. I know my ex and I are done. So it is time to find new waters, I just don't seem to have the gumption to so. Working around the house, and working seem to be all I can do right now. I was working out a lot but have an injury and am now in physical therapy so that take up my time. But I just have no desire to go through the actions of meeting someone. And I am not getting younger.
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