whats the next move from here ?

[beatjunkies]

so here is the deal i was with my ex for 7 years and we broke up when i moved away this past september (she dumped me). I decided to move back 2 months later because i didnt like it where i was and have been back since Dec.. Well she was starting to hang out with this guy alot.. I have found out that they were going out but she denyed it everytime i confronted her about it.. I really tried when i moved back to get back with her and at that time i didnt know if she was with this guy or what.. She always hangs out with him and when i want to she flakes out or whatever.. anyways I have went to NC and havent been calling her.. she now is the one that calls me like every 7 days or so. She never tells me exactly what is wrong or what she feels like.. So after telling her how i felt a while ago i decided to just stop calling her... I asked her if she is sure she would have rather gotten into this new relationship rather than work on what we had.. she said she didnt know and everything is messed up right now. Obviously she is choosing what she wants and i am sorry this post is soo blunt and short.. there were other posts by me under the name "mixwell". Anyways i just want to recap so for those of you that remember me here is the situation i am in now..

 

on Feb 6 we hung out and it was really nice.. she was a little touchy and what not and we laughed alot.. she said sorry for blowing me off and being a jerk.. She was like tickling me and touching my face and what not.. thats the last time i hung out with her..

 

so last thursday i sent her a txt message on accident saying i was eating at home and to get food or whatever.. that was supposed to be for my guy friend.. i get a txt back saying "shes mine now get over it.. (bf name). so i was pist off and i left her a voicemail basically saying "you ask why i dont call you and this is why" i said if you dont wana talk or be friends then dont call me anymore.. i said i am done playing games.. So we havent really talked since then until yesterday.

 

I dont call her and she calls me now.. She called me yesterday and made a lame excuse on why she called. we had an ok chat.. I brought up the relationship sort of but she didnt seem bugged about it I kinda asker her if she was happy with her choices and what not..i basically asked her why she didnt just say she had a bf when i asked her before and she said they started going out recently.. well she hung out with this guy and everything like a couple for like the last 2 months so i know other wise.. I found out they were together about a month ago.. So i dont know why she is still lying about that..

 

anyways i am at the point where i dont know what to do.. should i just still keep letting her call me and talk to me ? we never hang out tho so its kinda stupid.. Or should I just say something to the effect that we shouldnt talk while she has a bf ?? Or maybe just ask her to hang out and let her know everything on how i feel with things at the moment and ask her about herself and what she feels ??

 

Yes i know by showing emotions and bring up the relationship will push her away but honestly how much further could i push her if that is the case ?? I dont think i have been pushing at all.. she is the one initiating contact with me but still i would like to let her know how i feel.. I just wish I know if she was interested still and there was a chance or if i should just move on for good.. I wish i could honestly ask her what she REALLY feels in her heart but i know i cant ask her and i wont get a real answer from her.

 

I dont know what to do right now.. i just dont want to say sumthin i might regret later.. any advice ??

 

thanks

[scroll lock]

dood i read some of you past posts....everyone has told you to move on and cut all contact ....i know its hard but you got to do it..shes playin you for a fool (sorry to be so blunt)...she just calls to check if your still around...

 

You're her

-secutrity blanket

-second choice

-if all else fails go to you

-2nd batter up

-her boyfriends the bass (fish), your the sunfish she throws back in the water

-hes the hole in one your the eagle

-hes the three pointer, your the foul shots

-hes coca cola, your pepsi

-hes iced tea your dr pepper

 

 

hmmm let me put it in terms you would understand....

he's a vestax mixer you would be a gemini or hes tech 1200's and you would be Numarks

 

Good luck bro, and i hope you get through this.

[Karen32]

Why did you guys break up? did you beak up or did she dump you??? Maybe she felt that dating for 7 years you weren't going anywhere in the relationship...Did she want marriage?? If you really want to be with this girl you have to really proove yourself, unlsess you don't want a future with her...

[beatjunkies]

karen she broke up with me beacuse i moved out of state.. she basically thought we werent going to see each other ever again.. i couldnt handle that thought and i didnt like it where i was and i wanted to move back.. but she started hanging out with this guy alot or whatever.. i guess i thought that once i moved back it would wave the magic wand and fix everything.. honestly i was willing to spend the rest of my life with this chick.. she even complained after the breakup and hanging out with this guy saying "i always thought id be the first one out of my friends to get married and how it was stupid" well you know i have told her that i love her and i wanted to be there and take care of her and if we were to get back together i would never lose her again.. she knows 100% on where i stand on things.. she is the one that made the choice to break up with me.. i could see the reasons behind that. i think a long distance relationship is pointless also and i would have most likely done the same thing once i thought id never see them again... but the thing is... i am back now and i said i was sorry that i messed everything up between us.. I said i would like to work things out and be there for you.. she has also made the choice to go out with this guy, knowing how i feel about everything.. so what else is there to try for ?? there is only soo much you can do to try before there is nothing else.. i feel right now there is nothing more i can really do about it.. that is why i dont know if i should just keep talking to her or if i should just tell her next time she calls that you know ive tried and you know where i stand.. i love you and was willing to spend the rest of my life with you but you made the choice that you didnt want that and you found someone else so we should just not talk and move on ??

 

i really dont know what else to do ?? When i first came back we hung out some and i took her out to dinner and was very nice and admitted my mistakes.. she really is missing out on how things could be with us.. i have changed alot since moving out of state and have thought about a lot of things and what i want out of life.. so i dont know..

 

i can understand that she might want to see other people and see how things are... i went through that phase when younger in our relationship and honestly i didnt like it.. so i can understand if thats what she is doing but she wont admit to me that is what she is doing..

 

From a girls perspective why would she deny being with this guy and such ?? i mean she really trys to make it sound like she isnt happy with him and doesnt want me to know she is with him.. she is just using me as backup right ?? thats what i think...

 

by the way i am 21 and so is she if that helps any..

[beatjunkies]

Originally posted by scroll lock

 

 

You're her

-secutrity blanket

-second choice

-if all else fails go to you

-2nd batter up

-her boyfriends the bass (fish), your the sunfish she throws back in the water

-hes the hole in one your the eagle

-hes the three pointer, your the foul shots

-hes coca cola, your pepsi

-hes iced tea your dr pepper

 

 

 

 

Good luck bro, and i hope you get through this.

 

id rather be pepsi than coca cola and id rather be dr pepper than iced tea haha.. i know what yer saying homie.. Well im just trying to move on but she keeps calling me.. so i dont know man.. this shiz sucks..

[TequilaSunrise]

It seems like she is playing you. You're her back up choice. But she probably still feels something for you. However, at the moment she is under no pressure to make a choice between the current bf and you..

 

So the plan of attack is to put her under some pressure

 

I would stop all contact. No responding to calls, emails etc. Go out and start meeting other girls. She will then have to make a choice between the current bf and you before it is too late.

 

The obvious question is how will you know her choice if you have no contact. When the contact goes from calls and emails to letters and visits you will know that you are getting there.

[beatjunkies]

thanks tequila i can totally relate to what your saying... see i my mom told me that I shouldnt basically make her choose between me or him and that i should just still talk to her but be blunt.. maybe this is what she needs is some fire under her butt to make her think a little.. i admit its going to be hard to just ignore her calls... so how long should i do this for ?? i am thinking about a month maybe ?? also like you said... when should i know that she is ready to work things out (if that is the case) i mean afer a month do i just answer or what? how does it work ?? anyways thanks for the advice !!

 

Take care,

 

peace

[beatjunkies]

advice ??