bugera6262 Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 I'm 23 years old. I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years. We broke up a year ago. When we broke up I resparked an old relationship with a girl I used to go out with before her. Basically the girl I'm with now I missed so much that I ended it with the girl I used to go out with to be with the girl I'm with now. But now a year later I still think of the girl that I was with when me and my current gf broke up. It's been a year and I still think of this girl all the time and I know that isn't ok since I'm in a relationship. I wake up and think of this girl and how much I miss her. I don't know what to do. I can't talk to anyone about it. Have I not "experienced" enough? I love my gf but I feel like I'm missing this other girl and it tears me apart. Sorry if this was confusing, I would greatly appreciate a response.
CarrieT Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 I think you have changed and grown a lot and as much as you think you are missing the old girl, I would hazard to guess that she is not the same person you loved back then and you are missing the nostalgia of how it felt then. Your 20s will be like this and - having gone through it - I can guarantee that going back to an old fling is never like it was, however much we try. I did it twice and while there are some stories of it working, it usually works when the people involved are much older and more aware. Just realize that the next four or five years is going to be a remarkable time of change in how you feel about yourself and sometime around your 27th/28th year, you are going to "gel" into your confidence and knowing who you really are. Trust us oldies on this one... 3
slizl Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 There was a reason why you broke it off with the girl in the first place. It is easy to think about all of the good times when you are no longer with a person. Not a ton of detail in your post, but that's my two cents. 1
leavesonautumn Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 You're 23 years old. Based on your experiences, maybe being single and discovering yourself will give you a different perspective on life and what you want/need. In my opinion, it doesn't seem as if you want to be with either of these girls when it comes right down to it. You were not happy with either and would think of the other one. Imagine how you would feel if this was the internal struggle going through your girlfriend's mind. I was 21 when I met my ex and I'm 26 now. Instead of meeting new people whenever we'd break up, I'd wait for him. Now that we have "officially" broken up, I don't even know what I'm looking for and have never actually dated before. Just went straight into relationships. So, now I need to figure myself out. Maybe this might be something for you to consider as well. 2
Author bugera6262 Posted August 9, 2014 Author Posted August 9, 2014 Thank u all for replying. I beleive all of you wrote the right things. I do need to find myself. I think the only thing holding me back is the fear of regret so I just play on with my life like everything is fine. I will post more when I have more free time I'm at work atm.
smackie9 Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 You have been in nothing but relationships for 4 years. That's a long time for someone your age. Your youth is passing you by, and you feel it. Your relationship is stagnant and you crave excitement but your biggest fear isn't regret but fear of being alone. 1
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