ExpatInItaly Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 Hmmmmm you mean bi-polar? lol No. I would guess Borderline Personality Disorder. 1
smackie9 Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 No question. Either malignant narcissism, BPD or some form of psychosis. I dunno, she told me she caught her kids (boy is 7 and girl is 6) together showing off their private parts to each other a little while back. Rightfully she was a little concerned. So why in the hell is there a picture of them up taking a bath together? I dunno maybe some people consider that normal behavior. Isn't where I come from when your kids are that age. Yes it is normal behavior for kids to be curious about "differences". But that's when a parent should step in, explain and give guidance.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 Like I said would love to hear her side... Nice u have her passed off with all sorts of disorders when no one has even heard her side.. Personally I think you are shallow, judgemental, like to always be the winner & put people down.. Where in your story anywhere do u actually say anything that isn't based on looks, money, materialistic stuff.. You had an argument because u knew more about a sport than she did!... Was that the only thing u could outdo her on!? Her kids were acting out.. By your standards or the rest of the worlds? Have u ever actually dealt with real issues in life like she has (divorce, children etc) because it seems you haven't.
leavesonautumn Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 Like I said would love to hear her side... Nice u have her passed off with all sorts of disorders when no one has even heard her side.. Personally I think you are shallow, judgemental, like to always be the winner & put people down.. Where in your story anywhere do u actually say anything that isn't based on looks, money, materialistic stuff.. You had an argument because u knew more about a sport than she did!... Was that the only thing u could outdo her on!? Her kids were acting out.. By your standards or the rest of the worlds? Have u ever actually dealt with real issues in life like she has (divorce, children etc) because it seems you haven't. That's the thing with LS though... we only hear one side and that's the only way we can give advice here. Sure, OP sounds a bit shallow but it's not that uncommon and nowhere near as painful and difficult as the situations he has described this woman putting him through. She got divorced 4 years ago... not 2 months ago, she has NO right to treat anyone like that. I'd also say that there are a lot more issues in life than just divorce or children. Like dealing with someone who is emotionally unstable, for example.
MuffMan6969 Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 It would be my guess that she is extrmely bitter from her divore, has been taking some kind of anti-depressent medication for 4 years and the pill addiction is out of control. Add alcohol, lots of wine, into the equation and she is a real mess. I commend you for keeping NC for 2 weeks. You cant fix this one.
RonaldS Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 Holy sh*t. If some chick told me she loved me the first time we met, I wouldn't even bother opening the door to leave.... I would run right through it. 3
preraph Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 If she hadn't had her own money (but honestly, who knows how much debt -- she WAS selling her place), I'd peg her for a golddigger. I still think she might have been looking for someone to bail her out. Most people who look like they have money are still really in debt. Anyway, she wanted to get married immediately and had no idea she loved you or not that soon, so she's nuts one way or the other. 1
Author Team NE Posted August 9, 2014 Author Posted August 9, 2014 I could care less if someone wants to take her side and accuse me of being at fault here. It's not my problem which is why I'm not heartbroken over the deal. Confused, sure. But I walked away knowing that I did nothing. BTW she called a sport I like stupid and in essence said I was stupid for liking it. And it wasn't a joke. If you want to take the side of some woman who tells you they love you and then a short time later says she's out of your league and every single person on earth knows it, go ahead. If that makes you sleep better at night. I was nothing but respectful to this person for two weeks but sometimes you have people that just fly off the handle for no reason. EOR.
Downtown Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 Maybe she is truly the one that's bipolar because she would be fine one minute and psychotic the next. Perhaps she is bipolar, TNE. That is not what you're describing, however. Nor are you describing "psychotic" behavior. Rather, the behavior you describe -- i.e., anger issues, lack of impulse control (e.g., excessive drinking), rapid flips between Jekyll (adoring you) and Hyde (devaluing or hating you), and black-white thinking -- are classic traits of BPD. I therefore agree with Expat and Jungle that, if you are determined to understand her behavior, it would be prudent to look at BPD warning signs to see if most sound very familiar. If you are interested, an easy place to start reading is my list of red flags at 18 BPD Warning Signs. If most of those BPD signs sound very familiar, I would suggest you also read my more detailed description of them at my post in Rebel's Thread. Significantly, that post explains why BPDers do "splitting," which makes it possible for them to flip between loving and hating you in only ten seconds -- based solely on some minor thing you do or say. If that description of BPD warning signs rings many bells, I would be glad to join Expat and Jungle in discussing it with you. Take care, TNE.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 Perhaps she is bipolar, TNE. That is not what you're describing, however. Nor are you describing "psychotic" behavior. Rather, the behavior you describe -- i.e., anger issues, lack of impulse control (e.g., excessive drinking), rapid flips between Jekyll (adoring you) and Hyde (devaluing or hating you), and black-white thinking -- are classic traits of BPD. I therefore agree with Expat and Jungle that, if you are determined to understand her behavior, it would be prudent to look at BPD warning signs to see if most sound very familiar. If you are interested, an easy place to start reading is my list of red flags at 18 BPD Warning Signs. If most of those BPD signs sound very familiar, I would suggest you also read my more detailed description of them at my post in Rebel's Thread. Significantly, that post explains why BPDers do "splitting," which makes it possible for them to flip between loving and hating you in only ten seconds -- based solely on some minor thing you do or say. If that description of BPD warning signs rings many bells, I would be glad to join Expat and Jungle in discussing it with you. Take care, TNE. Agreed. OP, I dated a man who was diagnosed with BPD. Much of the behaviour you're describing about her very closely matches the behaviour of my ex. It was an insanely difficult, heart-wrenching experience for me to be loved one minute and hated the next. As Downtown suggests, this type of splitting can occur seemingly instantaneously. I would stay away from her, but in the interest of understanding what happened, I would definitely read up on BPD. Could be very enlightening.
Author Team NE Posted August 9, 2014 Author Posted August 9, 2014 (edited) Wanted to mention one other thing about this "best friend" who is 24 (so do the math that's 12 years younger. The girl is very pretty, comes from what appears to be a good family. Married a guy that owns a strip club and wears his hat backwards and 3 months later is in a divorce situation. Apparently had some issues and wanted to do counseling but later found drug paraphenilia in the vehicle and also condoms (no need for that when you're married). So now is apparently through. Now this girl has an attachment to my ex because they're both single-apparently misery loves company. I don't know if the need for someone to grow up is associated with BPD but the whole best friend that's 12 years younger all strikes me as a little out there. If you fill your void of a man in your life by hanging out with someone else single that's 12 years younger, in my mind says something else about your character. There's no question that this younger person is filling a void of lonliness and companionship for my ex and it makes sense that I was filling that void for a short time until this situation with her best friend recently came up. Once she knew she had her little buddy back around, she didn't need me any longer. Edited August 9, 2014 by Team NE
JungleLover Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 You are over-occupying yourself with this and analyzing things too much. All you should care about is how she treated you. Whether she is friends with a 16 year-old prostitute or not really doesn't matter at this point. Give yourself one more day to get all your thoughts about her out of your head then move on, at least mentally. The company she keeps just isn't important any more.
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