Lona.loba Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 Hello I live with my bf and we've been together for a few years our relationship started as long distance then we actualy met each other in real and I moved in with him. My bf have been constantly wanting to have sex with me before marriage and he knows that I can't for a few reasons that I've talked about in previes threads of mine. We were oneself like a few months ago talking about sex and I too him that he has to wait and he replied to me: but sweetheart u know I really want to. We didnt have sex till now and like a few days ago we were cuddling in his bed and he was like baby I'm horny for u... I told we'll u know that I can't have sex before marriage he sad I know babe .. Then I asked him if he was annoyed or mad that I don't have sex with him he told me no he's ok with it and then he said well baby ur hand and mouth would have to work alot in the meanwhile , he has seen me make before an I did as well and I sometimes give him oral... And he wants to marry me after I finish university. Why did his thought about badly wanting to have sex with me and trying to pressure me , into not minding that we won't have sex before marriage should I be worried that his thought changed did he loose interest in me ? What does that indicate ?
PegNosePete Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 It indicates that... you're putting him in an impossible situation. So you don't want to have sex, but you want him to keep on asking and pressuring you? And if he stops pressuring you, rather than saying "thank you for respecting my wishes"... you're suddenly getting worried about his feelings? Sorry OP I think you're being ridiculous here! He is doing exactly as you have asked. 3
Mrin Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 I agree. To top matters off you two are living together. Do you sleep in the same bed? This is a total Kobayashi Maru (or unwinnable situation for you non nerds) for the guy. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 This whole thing is unnatural. If you want to wait until marriage that is your choice. However, you need to stop playing with fire. You never should have moved in with him in the 1st place. Since you are already there & can't move, stop getting into his bed & cuddling. If you maintain strict rules & keep some distance, the pressure will stop. BTW, men who truly love women who they know are virgins do NOT try to seduce them by saying "baby I'm horny for you." In that context such a statement diminishes the importance of 1st time sex & indicates that he cares more about his physical needs then your emotional ones. 1
Els Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 I'm not sure what your question is. You told him you can't have intercourse before marriage (and considering your situation and the country you come from, that's a pretty wise choice IMO). So he has stopped asking for intercourse before marriage. And now you are worrying about his lack of asking? Would you prefer he continue to pressure you? Is he still enthusiastic about giving/receiving oral sex or has that dropped off at the same time?
Author Lona.loba Posted August 8, 2014 Author Posted August 8, 2014 I agree. To top matters off you two are living together. Do you sleep in the same bed? This is a total Kobayashi Maru (or unwinnable situation for you non nerds) for the guy. Yes we do sleep in the Sam e bed ... I only live with him on weekends other days I live in UNi dorm
Author Lona.loba Posted August 8, 2014 Author Posted August 8, 2014 This whole thing is unnatural. If you want to wait until marriage that is your choice. However, you need to stop playing with fire. You never should have moved in with him in the 1st place. Since you are already there & can't move, stop getting into his bed & cuddling. If you maintain strict rules & keep some distance, the pressure will stop. BTW, men who truly love women who they know are virgins do NOT try to seduce them by saying "baby I'm horny for you." In that context such a statement diminishes the importance of 1st time sex & indicates that he cares more about his physical needs then your emotional ones. But he does recpect my choice the fact that he will wait until we get married shows that
d0nnivain Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 I get that he respects your choice & you are awfully lucky especially since you insist on spending time in his bed while continuing to withhold sex 1
Author Lona.loba Posted August 8, 2014 Author Posted August 8, 2014 I'm not sure what your question is. You told him you can't have intercourse before marriage (and considering your situation and the country you come from, that's a pretty wise choice IMO). So he has stopped asking for intercourse before marriage. And now you are worrying about his lack of asking? Would you prefer he continue to pressure you? Is he still enthusiastic about giving/receiving oral sex or has that dropped off at the same time? Yes he still interested in oral he told me baby ur mouth and hands would be really busy now
Author Lona.loba Posted August 8, 2014 Author Posted August 8, 2014 The thing that worried me is this quick sudden change in his thoughts cuz at firt he used to get really annoyed because I said no sex before marriage now he doesn't mind it and doesn't get annoyed
d0nnivain Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 Couldn't it be that he has made peace with your decision? Why isn't that a good thing? 3
slizl Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 I respect your decision, but it is something that I would never agree to as a man. I wouldn't want to hold out for marriage only to realize that there was no spark in the sack. For me, bad sex is a deal breaker. I have to test the goods before I make a lifetime commitment.
preraph Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 How many guys here would be perfectly happy getting all oral and nothing else for a year? I don't know how to tell you this, but oral is way more intimate than actual intercourse, so I don't know what he's complaining about, but you aren't exactly a virgin if you're giving oral since oral is something that is considered special or advanced among nonvirgins. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 The thing that worried me is this quick sudden change in his thoughts cuz at firt he used to get really annoyed because I said no sex before marriage now he doesn't mind it and doesn't get annoyed You're being a bit ridiculous. You've told him to wait, and now you're anxious because he's not pressuring you. What do you expect him to do? You are fortunate to have a guy who respects your decision and now it's not enough? You can't have it both ways, OP. 4
Els Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 The thing that worried me is this quick sudden change in his thoughts cuz at firt he used to get really annoyed because I said no sex before marriage now he doesn't mind it and doesn't get annoyed I still really don't see the problem then. He has agreed to your decision. Appreciate it and love him for it. That's pretty much all that needs to be said.
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