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She finally admits to loving me

Robert Z

By Robert Z
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readynow Established Member

readynow

Posted
Posted

Just this morning, I was reading one of your posts and thought she wouldn't stay with you for 2 years without developing strong feelings for you especially with you looking after her and adoring her the way you do :love:

 

They say money can't buy love - but hey, it can buy time and peace of mind to let the love grow :p

 

Anyway, enjoy it while it lasts, seems like you've both got more out of it than you put in. Congrats!

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thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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Most men find love with someone who does want to stay with them, and is not there for the money. And let's call a spade a spade - she is there because you are paying her to be with you. Doesn't sound very romantic IMO, but I guess if you feel honored to pay for something other men are getting for free, and from women who want to be with them, then I guess that's too bad for you. You will have spent $100,000+ for someone who will move on as soon as school is over.

 

 

Most women nowadays have a job and earn an income, and contribute to the family/couple's expenses. Apparently you chose poorly when choosing a wife who did not contribute to the family/couple income, and who did not (if you are to be believed, and I have my doubts) have any affection for you from day one, from your wedding night and throughout your marriage. One has to wonder why you married such a person in the first place. You go from a wife who sucked you dry and contributed nothing, to a hooker who cost you $100,000+ or more, and leaves you as soon as she doesn't need your money anymore. Doesn't sound like progress to me. But apparently you don't mind being used by women, and being raked clean by women financially or emotionally. I'd have to wonder what your relationship with your mother was like, that you choose women like this to spend your time and money on. You sound like a doormat to me.

 

While Ive busted his balls in the past, im starting to see the sense in this...

 

He's renting the Ferrari, instead of dumping a pile of money into the old POS, Toyota...In the end, if all he is doing is going from point A to point B, then what the hell?...Might as well do it in style with the Ferrari..

 

 

They are both adults...No one is putting a gun to anyone's head.. Sounds like he knows how deep the water is...so whats the big deal?

 

 

TFY

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CaliGypsy Established Member

CaliGypsy

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It seems to me as you are happy with this arrangement as is she. If I remember correctly she came along at a really hard time in your life and made all the difference. I hope you figure out a way to make it work.

 

 

As far as old Toyota's, just wanted to add that you never want to underestimate their value. Most of them have a lot of life left in them and don't like being undervalued.

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joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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Posted
Well, that is a matter of semantics. Being a sugar baby is quite a different life from that of an escort. She depends on me for support just like my ex wife did. The only difference being that my sugar baby is nice to me, we have fun, she treats me with respect, and we have great sex... and of course she is way too young and beautiful for me.

 

You still paying for pu$$y. My thing how can she actually love you when the relationship is based on a business transaction.

gaius Established Member

gaius

Posted
Posted

As far as old Toyota's, just wanted to add that you never want to underestimate their value. Most of them have a lot of life left in them and don't like being undervalued.

I think I'd rather have the beat up Toyota. ;) I don't think I know anyone with a Ferrari personally but is that really the key to happiness? =/ Isn't it just a distraction?

 

Tfy, maybe it's just about encouraging him to keep his guard up a little in a situation like this. If he wanted to hang himself before he met this woman what's going to happen after she's done with school and doesn't need the financial support as much? Especially now that the l word is getting thrown around. Did she heal him or is she just a crutch?

 

I've run across plenty of women who's affections are predicated on lots of things that don't matter. I've never found them all that healing myself. They're just a distraction, like the Ferrari. It's the one's that are still hot and bothered even after all we can do is McDonalds one week that really nourish your soul. That really genuinely like you. You, not your money. Or your looks.

 

Then again, I'm not there in person. I don't know what Robert knows and I've never seen them in person together. That's just my take on the situation from my limited knowledge. And if my take is true then the loving thing to do would be trying to coax him into something a little healthier.

  • Like 4
CaliGypsy Established Member

CaliGypsy

Posted
Posted
I think I'd rather have the beat up Toyota. ;) I don't think I know anyone with a Ferrari personally but is that really the key to happiness? =/ Isn't it just a distraction?

 

Me too. Any day.

 

 

As far as the rest of your post, I agree with you and really like the empathetic way you worded it.

 

When people come here for support or because they need to share something they might not to be able elsewhere, it's encouraging to see it done in a way that's meant to be helpful and supportive.

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Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

Posted
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Posted (edited)
I?m Using A Sugar Daddy To Pay For College, But He Thinks I?m Really In Love With Him | Thought Catalog

 

Love understands no reason. And maybe that is one of the beauties of love.

 

Again. That doesn't apply here. I did all of this long before she ever said she loves me. In fact she has always been very careful to keep this strictly a friendship. And her need for my support is about at an end. She also knows I would be glad to keep her around as long as she wishes. I have no desire to end this. So she has no need or reason to lie.

Edited by Robert Z
SammySammy Established Member

SammySammy

Posted
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Reminds me of a quote:

 

"Any sucker who believes a whore loves him shouldn't a fell out of his mammy's ass." - Iceberg Slim, Pimp: The Story of My Life

Divasu Established Member

Divasu

Posted
Posted

I think some of us bust RobertZ's balls to help keep him grounded versus "I'm so happy for you ta ta da da". This is not a typical relationship dynamic given the circumstances and he should be careful and not be pw'd.

 

If someone wants to spend their hard earned money in this fashion, well, there are consequences that come with the price tag and you can't say you were hoping for a different outcome (if there is any consequential outcome at all...).

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Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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Robert, consider this test. Stop paying and see how long the "love" lasts.

 

She doesn't "get paid" for all of her time now by any stretch of the imagination.

 

You also miss the obvious point. Gentlemen, stop paying your wife and see how long she sticks around. Many women leave their husbands over money, and the lack thereof. So if you really want to open that can of worms, fair enough.

 

 

Also, if you all would take the time to read first, she said the nature of our relationship is going to change. I don't yet know what she means but she mentioned going to a concert.

 

 

But I'm not going to waste my time arguing with people who wont take the time to read the facts first. Earlier Divasu said sarcastically, of course I would know better than you what the truth is here. Well, yes I would. Why in the world would any of you think you would know better than me? Frankly, get a grip. You don't even know us.

Edited by Robert Z
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Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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Isn't it interesting how the first assumption is that 20 year old women are pulling the wool over the eyes of much older men JUST because they say so.

 

 

Try this one on for size: The men know they are lying and they don't care. When I had escorts blowing smoke up my shorts, I knew it. It was trivially obvious.

 

 

One thing I have always admired about my sb is her integrity. She has always been brutally honest even when I was out of my mind in love with her and she had everything to gain by lying.

Divasu Established Member

Divasu

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She doesn't "get paid" for all of her time now by any stretch of the imagination.

 

You also miss the obvious point. Gentlemen, stop paying your wife and see how long she sticks around. Many women leave their husbands over money, and the lack thereof. So if you really want to open that can of worms, fair enough.

 

 

Also, if you all would take the time to read first, she said the nature of our relationship is going to change. I don't yet know what she means but she mentioned going to a concert.

 

 

But I'm not going to waste my time arguing with people who wont take the time to read the facts first. Earlier Divasu said sarcastically, of course I would know better than you what the truth is here. Well, yes I would. Why in the world would any of you think you would know better than me? Frankly, get a grip. You don't even know us.

 

I sorry, I am on the sarcastic side but trust me, it's all done out of love. :D

  • Like 1
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Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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Posted (edited)
They say money can't buy love - but hey, it can buy time and peace of mind to let the love grow :p

 

 

You win the golden weeny award! :laugh: That was my secret plan all along.

 

 

Honestly, I couldn't walk away if I tried, and I did try, but I knew that if there was even a one-in-a-million chance of something working out, time was my friend. I didn't do all of this betting that she would fall in love with me but I knew it was my only chance, if there was any chance at all.

 

 

I'm busted! ;)

Edited by Robert Z
joystickd Established Member

joystickd

Posted
Posted
Reminds me of a quote:

 

"Any sucker who believes a whore loves him shouldn't a fell out of his mammy's ass." - Iceberg Slim, Pimp: The Story of My Life

Lol! It's good someone else other than me on here has read that book. He in the back of her mind will always be a trick no matter what. It's the reality of the situation. You're only a customer. How you start is how you finish. That's just the nature of the game.

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Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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While Ive busted his balls in the past, im starting to see the sense in this...

 

He's renting the Ferrari, instead of dumping a pile of money into the old POS, Toyota...In the end, if all he is doing is going from point A to point B, then what the hell?...Might as well do it in style with the Ferrari..

 

 

I have nothing against Toyotas! :laugh:

 

 

While I appreciate the sentiment, my feelings for her run much deeper than that. However, it is also true that one starts measuring life in different terms at my age. I have to be brutally honest with myself. I may have a year or twenty years of an active sex life left. Do I really want to take a chance on getting 20 good years at my age?

 

 

The conclusion is obvious: Don't waste a moment of the good years left.

 

 

All we really do in life is to go from A to B. It is only a matter of the distance left to B, that changes.

  • Like 2
sweetjasmine Established Member

sweetjasmine

Posted
Posted

He's renting the Ferrari, instead of dumping a pile of money into the old POS, Toyota...In the end, if all he is doing is going from point A to point B, then what the hell?...Might as well do it in style with the Ferrari..

 

I'll ignore for a moment the fact that comparisons between human beings and cars kind of turn my stomach. Taking your analogy, if someone had been renting a Ferrari for over two years and were still sh-t-talking the old POS Toyota at every turn, wouldn't you find that odd? And if they took no responsibility for having contributed to the old POS Toyota breaking down, wouldn't you also think maybe they were over-simplifying things and idealizing?

 

Seriously, if I were renting a Ferrari and felt secure about renting a Ferrari, I wouldn't keep talking about how crappy and useless every other type of car is and I wouldn't still be seething with resentment at the state of my old car.

  • Like 7
joystickd Established Member

joystickd

Posted
Posted
She doesn't "get paid" for all of her time now by any stretch of the imagination.

 

You also miss the obvious point. Gentlemen, stop paying your wife and see how long she sticks around. Many women leave their husbands over money, and the lack thereof. So if you really want to open that can of worms, fair enough.

 

 

Also, if you all would take the time to read first, she said the nature of our relationship is going to change. I don't yet know what she means but she mentioned going to a concert.

 

 

But I'm not going to waste my time arguing with people who wont take the time to read the facts first. Earlier Divasu said sarcastically, of course I would know better than you what the truth is here. Well, yes I would. Why in the world would any of you think you would know better than me? Frankly, get a grip. You don't even know us.

 

You talking about stop paying your wife. That's the problem you are using money to have control. I know women that have stuck by their husbands when money wasn't around. This mindset is the reason you chose to see an interaction with a female as more of a business transaction. I feel sorry for you because you are missing out on a lot. I will admit I have some issues with women but I'm not going to delude myself into thinking paying someone will get them to love me. Sad thing is if she genuinely does it probably because she settled for you. She has a history and few men will probably want a relationship with her

  • Like 1
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
Stop paying all and see where it goes.

 

H and I split expenses so you done swinged and missed by a light year. He pays me with sex where I reciprocate with sex. He also pays me with love where it's returned.

 

 

Thats great, but you do realize that there are a LOT of couples where the guy does the lions share of the paying.....and gets little or nothing in return...Then, when he wants out, he will keep paying.....for the rest of his life...

 

Im not necessarily disagreeing with you and I wouldnt live in the Fantasy World that he is, but at the end of the day, its his life and it seems to be a mutually beneficial arrangement..

 

TBH-TBF...Many guys are actually "paying" for sex in so called "conventional" relationship arrangements...See if the guy gets sex if he decides to quit his 200K/yr job, work for peanuts at the Home Depot, and the repo guy is hooking up her Benz and canceling her charge accounts that he was paying for...A lot of women would go cold in those instances...at the very least..

 

TFY

  • Like 1
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
I'll ignore for a moment the fact that comparisons between human beings and cars kind of turn my stomach. Taking your analogy, if someone had been renting a Ferrari for over two years and were still sh-t-talking the old POS Toyota at every turn, wouldn't you find that odd? And if they took no responsibility for having contributed to the old POS Toyota breaking down, wouldn't you also think maybe they were over-simplifying things and idealizing?

 

Seriously, if I were renting a Ferrari and felt secure about renting a Ferrari, I wouldn't keep talking about how crappy and useless every other type of car is and I wouldn't still be seething with resentment at the state of my old car.

 

Just lighten up....Its not characterizing people, more the "situation"...:rolleyes:

 

The point he is making is that he got fcked over by his old Toyota..even when he put new tires on it, fixed the rusted quarter panels and overhauled the engine....it still let him down....And then it reaches the point where its just good money after bad...

 

So he decides to tool around in the hot sportscar.After all the money he spent on the junker its even money.....He knows its not his to keep and he'll have to give it back...But at the end of the day, he's no longer getting let down by the old hooptie...When the time comes up to give it back, hell have to figure it out, but for now he's tooling around at a buck-fifty and enjoying the ride..

 

Its not for me...If I wanted a Ferrari, Id want to own it and not have to give it back...But im no window shopper...

 

TFY

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
All of you are confusing the issue. The issue is that the prostitute claims love. If so, test for truth. If she passes, then great! If she fails, that's life.

 

 

Im not missing any point, I dont think the OP is either...She probably does "love" him like a rich uncle or something...he's just not being incestuous with this "arrangement"...

 

TFY

Divasu Established Member

Divasu

Posted
Posted
Thats great, but you do realize that there are a LOT of couples where the guy does the lions share of the paying.....and gets little or nothing in return...Then, when he wants out, he will keep paying.....for the rest of his life...

 

Im not necessarily disagreeing with you and I wouldnt live in the Fantasy World that he is, but at the end of the day, its his life and it seems to be a mutually beneficial arrangement..

 

TBH-TBF...Many guys are actually "paying" for sex in so called "conventional" relationship arrangements...See if the guy gets sex if he decides to quit his 200K/yr job, work for peanuts at the Home Depot, and the repo guy is hooking up her Benz and canceling her charge accounts that he was paying for...A lot of women would go cold in those instances...at the very least..

 

TFY

 

You guys are talking about two completely different things... TBF describes a partnership, *this* arrangement, is not a 'partnership'.

M30USA Established Member

M30USA

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Must have been Annie's Song that did it. ;)

  • Like 2
Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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Robert, I am very concerned what happens once she doesn't need the money anymore and leaves. You said you were suicidal before meeting her.

 

As for bashing the ex W, well there are 2 sides to every story. In this day and age, it's not "normal" or even "common" for women to marry for financial support.

 

I feel that you are heading for a huge fall.

  • Like 6
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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To clarify, we are talking about two different issues, even beyond the type of relationship.

 

My focus is to ensure that Robert protects his heart by ensuring that her words match her actions. In other words, that she really loves him, woman to man, not piggybank to woman. In knowing which way she loves him, it will help him invest more or less of his heart.

 

TFotY and Robert are comparing a prostitute/john relationship with traditional marriage.

 

So we're talking through instead of with each other.

 

 

 

 

Lets be real, folks..Like any of you all give a crap about him?? Who worries about a nameless and faceless "person" on the net?

 

He's a grown man...He seems reasonably intelligent..he isnt cheating on a spouse or girlfriend..He's paying..She isnt a minor and I doubt very highly that a "huggy bear" type with a black Cadillac with wide whites is waiting out front to take her money and give her chump change...

 

I doubt very highly that he thinks she is saying ILY in the same way that a conventional woman would to a man she is head over heels for..

 

Im not saying this is true of any of the female posters here, but it always struck me as odd that they had "concern" for a prostitute or John...Why should they even care.? I certainly dont..This isnt some thrid world situation where a father is selling his 13 year old daughter into the business..That is where the real concern should be, not this type of arrangement..

 

The real issue with a lot of women and prostitution is that they dont like it because it takes a vital part of what they possess(their sexuality) to attract(and oftentimes manipulate) a man and turn it into a commodity that can be traded for dollars like milk or bread...That just doesnt sit too well with women, but instead of wording it that way(and looking insecure), they hide it by showing some false "concern"...

 

Understand...This is never something Id do or trunpet the positives of...Its abhorrent and stupid, and isnt remotely close to a conventional and loving relationship... But at the end of the day, its not affecting me one bit and if he wants to blow his money in this fashion, then so be it...

 

.02

 

TFY

  • Like 1
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