hugznkisses21 Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 Hey guys.... I have a friend who is 30 and her bf is 28....they have been together for about a year and a half and me and my bf notice they dont do much without eachother and she does not "let " her bf go out with the guys unless she tags along. I havent heard him complain so i suppose all is well. Just wanna hear some opinions on this. I dont own my bfs life...he has friends and when he goes with the guys its the guys and not the guys and me.....which is cool. SUre i get a bit jelous and think oh no a bunch of guys i hope he doesnt find a girl better than me etc. But I do my things with the girls and this is healthy right? So we are eating out with the other couple and the topic of them getting engaged soon comes up and he says "ya so after I give the ring i can go out more" as in now that they have made it official the he is spending the rest of his life with her she is allowing him cause now he has a ring and is definately off limits. I dont get it.....but it got me pondering a bit on where people stand with their SO going out to bars or whatever without them.....my bf tried to go once a week but makes sure it is on a night when we dont already have plans...he doesnt ditch me for the guys....or do more people really feel the bf should be spending the majority of his time with the gf and then when he is fully engaged be "allowed" to go cause its safer....i dont get it just wanted to see what peoples opions on this are. I gues im bringing it up cause im at home sick and was suppose to go with teh girls while my guy was going to go with the guys but instead im not going but im sure he still is so.....ive just had too much time to think and get jelous LOL
GirlDown Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 i guess i don't see how a ring would make any difference.... you should probably trust the person you are going to marry just as much the day before you have the ring as the day after...(not you, i mean in general!) i don't know. i'm not engaged (YET--that is a huge yet!!! i am waiting, hoping, praying, dreaming, scheming, YET YET ) but i don't care if he goes out with the guys. we both choose to spend most of our time together, so if one of us wants to make plans it's not a big deal, and it rarely happens. i might think it was weird if all of a sudden because i had a ring on my finger he would be with me less just because he could... i don't see how these things go together... maybe she just feels better about it because it's proof of commitment...but honestly, if a guy is going to screw you over, sometimes the ring just ain't got nothin' to do with it... (and if you feel that way about that person, maybe you shouldn't be wearing the ring...)
Author hugznkisses21 Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 yes i totally get what u are saying. I agree you should trust them either way i guess it is her way of feeling secure i suppose. They are great people she is possesive or jelous by nature I just thought this was a strange concept...
GirlDown Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 yeah it is a little strange... people are, indeed, strange though aren't they? it's so weird to know that you will never truly understand how another human works...its intriguing and frustrating rolled into a ball of clever-yet-not-so-fun-ness.
Author hugznkisses21 Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 hahah i sometimes feel that way about my bf....LOL
GirlDown Posted February 26, 2005 Posted February 26, 2005 Originally posted by hugznkisses21 hahah i sometimes feel that way about my bf....LOL hahahahaha...i know what you mean... i always think i know him sooooo well...but just once i would lilke to get into his head and see what's really going on in there... or at least just be able to observe him without him knowing
Author hugznkisses21 Posted February 26, 2005 Author Posted February 26, 2005 funny thing is im sure they feel the same way about us. Do u ever get insecure or jelous when he goes out without you?
Hund1976 Posted February 27, 2005 Posted February 27, 2005 Going out with your buddies is good in moderation. Most couples could probably use a little time apart. It just depends how often it is and what the people are doing when they are apart. I don't think people should have totally separate lives. Like their friends wouldn't even know he has a girlfriend.
niko1999 Posted February 27, 2005 Posted February 27, 2005 I used to be more uptight about it, but we were having issues in our relationship too. He doesnt go out very often, matter of fact, last time he went out was before christmas. and it just kind of turned into going out. they had a project to do for work on a saturday, and he went to hooters afterwards with the guys at work. Whatevs. As long as he doesnt drink too much, ( i get pissy about two drinks if he is drivng, hes not a big drinker) Once he went out with an ex girlfreind of his and I had no problem with it(not the same one some of you may remember from last year). Or he might go grab a bite to eat after work with a female co worker(who I know and have no problems with) He hasnt done that for a while either. I guess what Im saying is, couples need to have "non" couple time occasionally. Its healthy. I go out with my freinds , he goes out with his. WEve been togther 2.5 years, and lived together for two of those years
GirlDown Posted February 27, 2005 Posted February 27, 2005 Originally posted by hugznkisses21 funny thing is im sure they feel the same way about us. Do u ever get insecure or jelous when he goes out without you? i don't know if i would call it insecure or jealous, exactly, but i do think to myself something like "hmmmm, i wonder what he's doing right now..." so it does cross my mind, but i am sure it does with him too, so i guess that's not bad. i think it's more curiosity than anything else, you know?
whateveryousay Posted February 27, 2005 Posted February 27, 2005 It really depends on each couple. My husband is my best friend, and even before we got married we just really liked to hang out with eachother all the time. There's nothing he did that couldn't include me, and vice versa. He has his space and his own downtime of course, and I encourage him to go out without me.. thing is, we always end up doing something fun together instead. So, we're definitely not clingy or jealous, and maybe the couple you're referring to isn't either. Maybe they really just enjoy eachothers company more than their "friends". Afterall, in life, if you can count REAL FRIENDS on just 5 fingers, you consider yourself lucky. Maybe they realize this too, and couples like them, and would rather spend time with eachother than a bunch of time with people who are just there one minute and gone the next? There are some people who are pretty insecure and always need to surround themselves with tons of people, or maybe they are just social butterflies..that's fine and dandy if it's for you, and if it's not, who cares. Everyone has their own standards of how they like to live their lives and who they prefer to spend time with. There's no right or wrong answer.
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