Never had a relationship and trying hard

[Strugglingromantic]

This is me in a nut shell: warning this is fairly long

Basically I'm an 18 year old guy from England. I was rather unpopular at school from a young age, never had a relationship of any kind. Iv been friends with girls and never got any further. The furthest I have gone is French kissing but it was at a house party and we were both plastered...

I don't know how common this is but I'm the kind of person who falls hopelessly in love with someone very quickly, and it lasts for over a year every single time even if I almost never see the girl. And I always have a hard time getting over it.

This is gonna sound severely cheesy and like something out of a chic flic, but iv always wanted a relationship of cuddling, romance and that type of thing. I won't lie I would want the physical and intimate parts as well but there not as important.

 

This is the situation I'm in:

Had a serious crush on this friend of mine for over 2 years now and if I'm honest all I think about when I'm in the house on my own is how much I'd like to cuddle with her on the sofa or something. But I think iv been chucked in the friend zone with an anvil tied to my ankles (drowning metaphor ) and admittedly we hadn't spoken for about 6 months. We were very close but I was always the one texting her first, trying to arrange stuff to do everything like that. Because of that I waited for a bit to see if she would message me first, she didn't and after a while I lost all confidence of texting her and basically went about 6 months without ever talking. She's recently had a severe accident which I found out about through Facebook and texted her slightly out of desperation. Messages with her a couple of times since and went to see her for a couple hours although both our mums were there and all the talking was based about her accident.

But now all I can do is think about her and annoyingly my little brother just got me into a series and by chance the main characters had a relationship exactly like the one I want with her. Right now I can do anything other than think about her with even a slight stomach ache.

 

Iv rambled a lot now but I'm desperate for any advice and I'm willing to try almost anything. A quick response would be greatly appreciated

Edited August 7, 2014 by Strugglingromantic

[kolleamm]

All I can say is that your situation is fairly common and that a lot of people are in the same boat as well. Searching takes lots if dedication and most importantly, and I mean must importantly, creativety.

[Eivuwan]

Have you ever tried asking them out?

[Strugglingromantic]

Kind of, twice over that first year or so I told her how I feel but never actually asked her because I knew the answer before she would even have said it. She has a bit of a give away when she likes someone and I was getting none that give away towards me. Admittedly the first time she told me she had no idea and never guessed I felt that way.

I feel stupid for it but both times were admittedly done over text message or Facebook, I just can't handle rejection well in person

[Eivuwan]

Everyone gets rejected all the time when it comes to romantic things. You fight for it and ask the girl out properly or you will never get a chance. Also, it's pretty common for teenagers to get really hung up on one person. It seems like hormones lead to pretty extreme feelings. This is probably just a phase. You should hang out with other girls and give them a chance. Maybe someone else likes you.

[Strugglingromantic]

I get what ur saying, the problem is I'm terrible at meeting new people, put it this way, iv just finished a course at college where there wasn't a girl in sight, this is the only girl I keep in contact with from school. I have a limited number of friends and most of us aren't the type of person to go out and socialise often.

Before anyone suggests online dating, I have no money to pay for subscriptions and without those I'm very limited

[Eivuwan]

I get what ur saying, the problem is I'm terrible at meeting new people, put it this way, iv just finished a course at college where there wasn't a girl in sight, this is the only girl I keep in contact with from school. I have a limited number of friends and most of us aren't the type of person to go out and socialise often.

Before anyone suggests online dating, I have no money to pay for subscriptions and without those I'm very limited

 

If you're in college there are plenty of chances to meet someone. Aren't there clubs or organizations you can join to broaden your social circle? As an introvert myself, I find that you just have to force yourself to be an extrovert more often than you like if you want more people in your life or if you want to find that special someone.

[Els]

I don't know how common this is but I'm the kind of person who falls hopelessly in love with someone very quickly, and it lasts for over a year every single time even if I almost never see the girl. And I always have a hard time getting over it.

This is gonna sound severely cheesy and like something out of a chic flic, but iv always wanted a relationship of cuddling, romance and that type of thing. I won't lie I would want the physical and intimate parts as well but there not as important.

 

I don't know how common it is exactly, but this describes my SO a lot. It's one of the things I love about him. So, don't worry and don't change yourself.

 

I think you just need to steel yourself to risk rejection, and take the step to ask girls out properly. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Once you start doing that, I wouldn't be surprised if you end up with a compatible girl quite soon. Think of the ones who turn you down as an inbuilt filter - they wouldn't have lasted with you anyway.

[Strugglingromantic]

With regards to college, iv just finished my course, u might be referring to colleges in America (haven't idea if ur from America or not but just in case) they'r basically the equivalent of our universities, where our colleges are pretty much like the last 2 years of high school in America, but I'm going to university in just over year so I can try that there

 

And I'm glad I'm not the only one like this, I knew I couldn't be but no one I had spoken to in real life described themselves like this. Whether they were lying or not, I'm not sure

[Scales]

This is me in a nut shell: warning this is fairly long

Basically I'm an 18 year old guy from England. I was rather unpopular at school from a young age, never had a relationship of any kind. Iv been friends with girls and never got any further. The furthest I have gone is French kissing but it was at a house party and we were both plastered...

I don't know how common this is but I'm the kind of person who falls hopelessly in love with someone very quickly, and it lasts for over a year every single time even if I almost never see the girl. And I always have a hard time getting over it.

This is gonna sound severely cheesy and like something out of a chic flic, but iv always wanted a relationship of cuddling, romance and that type of thing. I won't lie I would want the physical and intimate parts as well but there not as important.

 

This is the situation I'm in:

Had a serious crush on this friend of mine for over 2 years now and if I'm honest all I think about when I'm in the house on my own is how much I'd like to cuddle with her on the sofa or something. But I think iv been chucked in the friend zone with an anvil tied to my ankles (drowning metaphor ) and admittedly we hadn't spoken for about 6 months. We were very close but I was always the one texting her first, trying to arrange stuff to do everything like that. Because of that I waited for a bit to see if she would message me first, she didn't and after a while I lost all confidence of texting her and basically went about 6 months without ever talking. She's recently had a severe accident which I found out about through Facebook and texted her slightly out of desperation. Messages with her a couple of times since and went to see her for a couple hours although both our mums were there and all the talking was based about her accident.

But now all I can do is think about her and annoyingly my little brother just got me into a series and by chance the main characters had a relationship exactly like the one I want with her. Right now I can do anything other than think about her with even a slight stomach ache.

 

Iv rambled a lot now but I'm desperate for any advice and I'm willing to try almost anything. A quick response would be greatly appreciated

 

This is all in your head. You are creating relationships and feelings that only exist for you.

 

Do not fall for girls years at a time. If you like a girl, make that known. Don't wait years wishing and hoping. Nothing will come of this girl right now. Move on to someone else. Being desperate for a relationship will only serve to block you from women for years to come if you don't fix it.

[Strugglingromantic]

This is all in your head. You are creating relationships and feelings that only exist for you.

 

Do not fall for girls years at a time. If you like a girl, make that known. Don't wait years wishing and hoping. Nothing will come of this girl right now. Move on to someone else. Being desperate for a relationship will only serve to block you from women for years to come if you don't fix it.

 

That makes sense and iv tried to get over it, it's not easy though, is there an easier way of getting over someone?

[Eivuwan]

That makes sense and iv tried to get over it, it's not easy though, is there an easier way of getting over someone?

 

One easy way would be to confess your feelings and ask her out. If you do get rejected it should be easier to get over her. lol

[Strugglingromantic]

I should probably let u know that she's in a relationship with a guy she's been with for about 8 or 9 months now...

[solway86]

I'm in the same position as the OP, except there's no individual who I like in my case, it's only insofaras the never having had a relationship, but coming close to it.

[Eivuwan]

I should probably let u know that she's in a relationship with a guy she's been with for about 8 or 9 months now...

 

Well she's not available to you then. I think a lot of times when people have trouble getting over someone is because they put their crush on pedestal due to a lack of self-confidence on their own part. Even if you don't want to date other people now, why don't you do some things to make yourself more confident? Focus on your other life goals.

[Rich34]

Hello OP:

 

Human beings are very simple creatures in actual fact. I would suspect very strongly that the reason that you are having trouble with the girls is because YOU ARE NOT GOOD-LOOKING ENOUGH.

 

Take this from a 50 year old man who is also not good-looking enough. I have been trying to get myself a steady girlfriend for over 30 years! Never had much joy because quite simply I am not good-looking enough.

 

Don't take any notice of any women that tell you that looks don't matter. That is utter BS.

 

THE ONLY thing that really matters is how good-looking you are. Secondly how much money you've got.

 

If you're not good-looking and rich forget the idea right now. Concentrate your energies into something else rather than chasing the unobtainable.

 

I know this sounds harsh but trust me this really is the way that it is.

 

I wish you all the best.

[Eivuwan]

Hello OP:

 

Human beings are very simple creatures in actual fact. I would suspect very strongly that the reason that you are having trouble with the girls is because YOU ARE NOT GOOD-LOOKING ENOUGH.

 

Take this from a 50 year old man who is also not good-looking enough. I have been trying to get myself a steady girlfriend for over 30 years! Never had much joy because quite simply I am not good-looking enough.

 

Don't take any notice of any women that tell you that looks don't matter. That is utter BS.

 

THE ONLY thing that really matters is how good-looking you are. Secondly how much money you've got.

 

If you're not good-looking and rich forget the idea right now. Concentrate your energies into something else rather than chasing the unobtainable.

 

I know this sounds harsh but trust me this really is the way that it is.

 

I wish you all the best.

 

Did you even read this thread? The reason why he is getting rejected is because he is hung up on this one girl who already has someone else. It's not like he went around trying to get dates and failing at it.

[kart180]

Friendzoning is why i gave up on dating for now