How do I get through this

[mtsuper]

Hello everyone this my first post ever im new to this but honestly i dont have anyone to talk to about this so here we go.Me and my ex girlfriend knew each other for 4 years were together for 3 years now we have had our ups and downs of the relationship she has had her bad moments ive had mine but in the end i felt it was beautiful because that was our relationship in the end we made it all work .but things went downhill as issues arose when people outside the relationship started trying to get involved and now a month ago she told me she didnt think she wanted to be with me anymore.

 

She said she was tired of the issues we were having and said i would never change certain things about myself but sad part is weeks before i wa getting myself together doing better for our relationship but the first week of breakup she would call me every other day saying she missed me and wants to be with me but not right now and it would switch back and forth from right now isnt the time to i dont want to be with you anymore"then the next week she would tell me how this one guy she used to talk to before me and her ever met wants to be with her but she tells him dont wait because she is in love with me but she feels she likes him because he does things i do

 

then the next week she tells me that she thinks of me every day and she thinks me and her will be back together soon and then she says something that confuses and makes me angry..I agree and say that i think the same for us then she text me back two hours later saying she sees that im not trying anymore and she understands and wil stop contacting me..me being confused and hurt and telling her as much as i miss her she gets a reaction out of me and we get into an argument then she tells me how she thinks she might let the other dude in her life since i will never change since i argued with her because i got mad that she felt that way.Mind you this happened tuesday that week.

 

Then the next week she messages me saying she misses me so much but she cant do it and sometimes she wishes we can get back together but then rememmber our bad times and says no then back and forth told me she wznted to kiss me and want me to hold her so bad and come over which i agreed too but then she ended up changing her mind..and we didnt talk then two days later i figure to suprise her at her house which she sick so in a bad mood she tells me if she comes outside do i promise to stay out of her life because she is tired of all of this and she comes out gives me a genuine hug and kiss and tells me i need to move on.

 

After that night i havent talked to her since,,She text me a day later becausei posted something about me finding out something because i saw on instagram the guy that liked her put her as a wcw calling her babe and stuff but she never confirmed it or hasnt made anything public but i ignored her asking me what did i find out?I havent spoken to her since last week and im trying to do this NC thing in hopes that she misses me and wants to work things out before she gets back to college which is like an hour away from me but idk some days im fine and dont think about it but mainly when im at work i cant get her out of my mind and i dont know what to do.

 

I go to sleep and wake up 3 4 in the morning EVERY night with her on my mind and i check my tumblr and see that she is awake too sometimes posting things about missing me other times not and it kills me cuz wat if she aready doing stuff with other guys and all of this i know she been going on dates i want to go on dates but my heart just isnt in it and its only been one official week since we have spoken I have a little glimmer of hope that this will work out but idk right now im just trying to do whatever i can to get my mind off of it because my frends have lives ad other things to do and it seems she having the time of her life while i have nothing to do at home alone i just want her out of my head what do i do???

 

P.S.I know it was long and i hope yall understood it sorry im just venting because i have no one to talk too

Edited August 8, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[scobro]

a month ago she told me she didnt think she wanted to be with me anymore.

 

That should tell you something

 

She said she was tired of the issues we were having and said i would never change certain things about myself

 

She wants to blame you to make herself feel better.My ex cheated on me and actually had the nerve to say "i know in my heart I just can't trust you"..so she feels better for cheating its all just justification

 

then the next week she tells me that she thinks of me every day and she thinks me and her will be back together soon and then she says something that confuses and makes me angry.

 

Wants to keep you around playing mind games while she assesses her new man and where that relationship is going.

 

 

then she tells me how she thinks she might let the other dude in her life since i will never change

 

LOL....she finds someone else but blames you for not being able to change.Its to justify her cheating.How about having the balls to end a relationship before you find someone else??...typical, my ex said the same, its all my fault for her finding someone new..lol

 

Then the next week she messages me saying she misses me so much but she cant do it and sometimes she wishes we can get back together but then rememmber our bad times and says no then back and forth told me she wznted to kiss me and want me to hold her so bad and come over which i agreed too but then she ended up changing her mind.

dude this is manipulation,control and mind games dont be apart of this it will kill you emotionally.

 

 

she comes out gives me a genuine hug and kiss and tells me i need to move on.

 

that says it all right there.......do yourself a favour and take her advice and run!!

 

After that night i havent talked to her since,,She text me a day later becausei posted something about me finding out something because i saw on instagram the guy that liked her put her as a wcw calling her babe and stuff but she never confirmed it or hasnt made anything public[quote

 

this is called stalking and it will drive you crazy especially the more you find out she is with someone else

 

i dont know what to do.

 

This is what you do..................take the pain and know its part of healing to get over her.Don't contact her....delete her from all your social media accounts.Do not try and find out anything about whats going on in her life.Its going to be hard especially if she pulls the mind games and contacts you.Trust me I have been you and this woman will just do this again in the future if you did get back with her.Save yourself some pain and suffering and pretend she died and you will never see her again.It gets better as time goes on.Do new things and stay active.I can relate to waking up at 3 and 4am thats just the minds way of dealing with attachment.It stops after a while.The anxiety pain will eventually stop as well.This is a wound that is healing and if you keep contacting her its like piucking at a scab and not letting the wound heal.If she contacts you ignore the message if she calls don't answer or just hang up.You don't need the drama this woman seems like a real narcissistic drama queen.............Run:p

Edited August 8, 2014 by scobro

[mtsuper]

Yeah unfortunately your right man I need to pretend like that luckily she leaves back for college (which is only an hour away from me but better than nothing) in two weeks so then when she leaves I can go back out again like I want too because I don't feel I c can go out because she is usuallyij every area that I'm at and I don't want to see her I'm just tryna find ways to cope with this man this ****s hard some days I'll be good others it'll kill me inside specially when I have nothing to do or when friends and family are busy its Ben a month sine the BU and only a week and a few days of NC sometimes I try to justify and figure out if this is just a rebound with this guy or is she actually moving on because she tells me the guy wants to be with her but she told me don't wait up because she is still in love with me and she said he is gonna wait for her but at the same time she is hanging out with this guy all the time doing stuff she used to do for me for him but she hasn't made anything official idk its hard but **** I hate how its usually they break up with you and life is all good and ur stuck at home with not much to do dying inside but ur right man I need to stay as far away as possible thanks man

[mtsuper]

Okay so its been a month by and its been or I will say it was 2 weeks NC after the second week of NC I'm out with some friends and all of a sudden I get a Kik message from her basically saying how there isn't a day she goes without thinking of me regardless of everything and how she still really cares and worries about me and hope I'm doing well I didn't open it and ignored it for the moment because I didn't want anything killing my vibe then she sends me a text message saying how she doesn't know if I received her Kik message but regardless goodnight and she is hoping I'm doing well with a heart I texted her back 5 hours later saying that I read them and I'm doing fine and hope all is well and kept it short didn't ask questions or anything of course she didn't reply back but at that moment friends and people were telling me to just reply and tell her I'm doing fine because that would convey that I'm fine without her and I'm okay with everything that happened and at that moment I thought it would show her I'm mature enough to talk to her but I don't need to have a conversation with her BT after a couple of days later I'm starting to think was that necessarily the right thing to do or should I have just completely ignored it?like I'm doing better than I was before and of course I want her back but it doesn't bother me as much anymore and sometimes I still go thru the rollercoaster of emotions but I can function normal unlike before but I think although at that time when I responded back I thought it wud be the mature thing to do to show that I can live without her should I even have responded at all?