bohica Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Hi I met a women in a local coffee shop last week. All we did was exchange a few words but there seemed to be instant chemistry. Nothing happened. We didn't even exchange names or numbers. A few days later I ran into her again in a totally different store a few miles away. This time I thought how can I not pursue this. I asked her for her number and she gave it to me. Long story short I asked her out for a drink and she said yes. We were suppose to meet tonight but I was to confirm with her on the time. She just told me she can't make it (via text) because she was asked to go away last minute by friend for a few days. She is asking for a rain check. Would love a womens advise on how to respond to her. Thanks
d0nnivain Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Tell her to have a great time & offer the rain check for when she gets back. The day after I met the man who is now my husband, my girlfriends took me away for a long weekend so I wouldn't obsess over him. 2
Author bohica Posted August 7, 2014 Author Posted August 7, 2014 Tell her to have a great time & offer the rain check for when she gets back. The day after I met the man who is now my husband, my girlfriends took me away for a long weekend so I wouldn't obsess over him. This is NOT the day after we met. This is THE day we are suppose to go out, for the first time. We had plans to go for a drink...tonight. I think the circumstances may be different here.
Zahara Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 This is NOT the day after we met. This is THE day we are suppose to go out, for the first time. We had plans to go for a drink...tonight. I think the circumstances may be different here. Why the analysis? Just tell her to have fun and to contact you when she gets back for that rain check. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 The circumstances ARE different. Me sharing my experience was designed to try to put a positive spin on your situation. At this point you are some guy she bumped into 2x who she make plans for a drink with. You are not important to her yet. She got a better offer from her friends. On balance going away was more important that having a 1st drink with you at this time. People reschedule stuff all the time. It's not that important. It's not the worst social faux pas ever. It's probably not even all that personal so don't over obsess about it. It's more casual to her then you. My advice remains the same: wish her well & get together when you get back. If you want to get your shorts in a twist, & tell her you think she's rude for attempting to reschedule you can, of course, do that but it seems like much ado about nothing to me. Back off. It's summer in NY. Where ever she's going -- the Hamptons, the Jersey shore, the Adirondacks, is some place she doesn't want to sit in Friday traffic to deal with. It's really not any more sinister than that & it's really not about you nor is it an outright rejection. 1
Author bohica Posted August 7, 2014 Author Posted August 7, 2014 Why the analysis? Just tell her to have fun and to contact you when she gets back for that rain check. Not an analysis. At all. Not sure how you get that. Just wanting to know the best way to respond. I am sure your not happy when a guy calls and cancels on you last minute. Depending on who you are you may handle it differently. Some may not even bother again with the person.
d0nnivain Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 She cancelled & wanted to reschedule. She didn't stand you up.
Lernaean_Hydra Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Not an analysis. At all. Not sure how you get that. Just wanting to know the best way to respond. I am sure your not happy when a guy calls and cancels on you last minute. Depending on who you are you may handle it differently. Some may not even bother again with the person. You've already been given the best response. Tell her to have an awesome time and touch base with you when she gets back. You're just some guy and it was a drink meetup, not a romantic dinner with a long term boyfriend. If she's interested she'll contact you when she returns.
Zahara Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Not an analysis. At all. Not sure how you get that. Just wanting to know the best way to respond. I am sure your not happy when a guy calls and cancels on you last minute. Depending on who you are you may handle it differently. Some may not even bother again with the person. Your response to d0nnivain seemed such in terms of deciphering the "difference" in circumstances. You both hardly know each other except for 2 bump-ins so I'm not understanding your need to take it so personally. It's one thing if she never bothered to tell you that she had to cancel but she has and she's asking for a rain check. So, wish her fun and let her know that you'll be up for that rain check when she gets back.
Author bohica Posted August 7, 2014 Author Posted August 7, 2014 I love how this is blown up way out of proportion! haha I fully understand the situation. I can respond ion different ways. I can tell her cool get in touch when you get back because she is canceling, I can say, cool how about next Thursday or I can say have fun I'll call you next week. Etc... Just curious about which is the best,. I don't know why it's assumed Im freaking out. I am not obsessing, getting my shorts in a twist and in no way suggested I tell her she's being rude. I never suggested that. Telling me to Back off? I haven't even done anything.
Author bohica Posted August 7, 2014 Author Posted August 7, 2014 Listen, thanks for all the responses. You were all a help... Have a good night.
rewl Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 I love how this is blown up way out of proportion! haha I fully understand the situation. I can respond ion different ways. I can tell her cool get in touch when you get back because she is canceling, I can say, cool how about next Thursday or I can say have fun I'll call you next week. Etc... Just curious about which is the best,. I don't know why it's assumed Im freaking out. I am not obsessing, getting my shorts in a twist and in no way suggested I tell her she's being rude. I never suggested that. Telling me to Back off? I haven't even done anything. I'll tell you like it is, forget other people's opinions If you want the truth, her interest in you is extremely low. It's your choice whether you want to contact her or not, but her interest in you is low.
Zahara Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 I love how this is blown up way out of proportion! haha I fully understand the situation. I can respond ion different ways. I can tell her cool get in touch when you get back because she is canceling, I can say, cool how about next Thursday or I can say have fun I'll call you next week. Etc... Just curious about which is the best,. I don't know why it's assumed Im freaking out. . OP, aside from needing help with a response, it's apparent that you're a little annoyed that she canceled at the last minute. Again, wish her fun and tell her to contact you when she gets back for that rain check. She canceled so let her come back with an alternative date. 2
d0nnivain Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 If you want the truth, her interest in you is extremely low. It's your choice whether you want to contact her or not, but her interest in you is low. Not necessarily. Her interest in him is lower than her interest in going away for the weekend with her friends but that doesn't mean she doesn't care at all. 1
preraph Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 As everyone said, tell her to have fun, then reschedule. But since you are someone who does really hate to have plans changed on you, if she does it again and it's just who she is, she's not the right person for you.
isisisweeping Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 I don't think most would turn away a trip away for a couple hours drink with someone they scarcely know, no matter how interested she might be. She didn't cancel for drinks with a friend. Ask her to give you a ring when she gets back to reschedule and tell her to have fun. If she's not interested, she won't get back, if she is, she will and I don't think the cancelling is the worst thing in the world.
malin819 Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 I give the 3 strikes rule after that I move on but those situations rarely happened
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