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going to witness dumper soon!!!(1 year post break up and nc)

hurts2death

By hurts2death
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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hurts2death Established Member

hurts2death

Posted
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long story short.here is the story http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/420756-nothing-pains-much-nothing

we were living together for a year been together for 3.

we were soul mates.

i did all the extra stupid romance stuff

we were like one

she stays silent i call for explanations she says we maybe need to stay apart to live things to meet new people.

i smell break up i say ok i initiate nc.

after a month i am getting weird calls hidden number

then with her number appearing

then texts wishing me happy new year

then more calls.

the more nc i was doing the more she would call.

she totally called like 137 times

still nc lol

 

now she is with her new man(with whom she does all things i introduced to her) for vacation at my city beach(why the hell?she knew i hang around there)

this saturday i am going to the beach with my best friend and my ex with her new guy will be there.it is a year now since break up and nc. i am like 95% healed.how should i act if i meet them?

 

i am thinking of ignore them and act like me. :)

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
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i am thinking of ignore them and act like me. :)

 

 

BINGO! Dude, you're going to be in a beach CITY! It's not like you're going to be on a desert Island with just your friend, your Ex and her new boy toy! There's a chance that you may NOT run into her. You stated that she used to like to do the things you did. Therefore, you can logically assume that she's going to visit your old haunts. Therefore, pick new places to party at! Expand your horizons!

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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I say don't go and really boost your healing. To hell with them!

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hurts2death Established Member

hurts2death

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well weird things happened.

 

as we were going my rear left tire got ripped from glass.

express service picked the car and repaired it in a tire shop.

 

we started again to go and the car got transmision error a few km before we arrive.

i must say at this point that i am a car enthusiast and my car is very well maintained. the chances for this to happen was like winning the lottery twice.

 

we eventually returned again with express service car care and transport.

 

so what the hell friends????? was everything win the universe working against meeting up with them and her? or just luck? i am still wondering

mtnbiker3000 Established Member

mtnbiker3000

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Go to the next beach up or down the coast. Why mess with success??

 

I'd wager you're not as healed as you think, and it WILL hurt!!!

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hurts2death Established Member

hurts2death

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well now i am gonna go when they r gone so everything ok. but sth was working on this today like sth didnt want at all for me to be there?

i mean tire and transmission error at once . lol

herself Established Member

herself

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My question is why a year later do you know who she's dating and her wherabouts.

And why is she not blocked from your phone.

The other 5% healing will come when you put the nail in the coffin.

If she 109% left u alone and you had a weak moment where your ego diguised sometimes as the heart needs a fix...you may contact HER and you dont want any loose ends when you've come so far. Be so done that you wouldn't know if she moved to a convent in Zimbabwe.

Some other guys got her drama now.

Good for them, your 95% free. Stop keeping tabs buddy.

mtnbiker3000 Established Member

mtnbiker3000

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^^^ Agreed. I don't know anything about my ex. Zero... And I like it that way. I wouldn't know if she was at the beach, in the mountains, or on the moon. Don't know, don't care!!!

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hurts2death Established Member

hurts2death

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do you think i might tricked my self to believe i am in the acceptance phase while not? or just common curiosity?

bubbaganoosh Established Member

bubbaganoosh

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If you want to be 100% over it rather than 95%, then get rid of any way to contact her. Phone, Facebook, text. Out of sight, out of mind.

 

Maybe she'll get the hint and let it alone when she sees that your no longer interested.

Zapbasket Established Member

Zapbasket

Posted
Posted
well weird things happened.

 

as we were going my rear left tire got ripped from glass.

express service picked the car and repaired it in a tire shop.

 

we started again to go and the car got transmision error a few km before we arrive.

i must say at this point that i am a car enthusiast and my car is very well maintained. the chances for this to happen was like winning the lottery twice.

 

we eventually returned again with express service car care and transport.

 

so what the hell friends????? was everything win the universe working against meeting up with them and her? or just luck? i am still wondering

 

So did you end up making it to the beach? Did you see her?

 

When my ex of 2007 called me a year and seven months after we'd broken up and gone NC, he left me a voice message and I developed a migraine so bad I thought I had brain cancer. The migraine lasted over a week and effectlvely prevented me from returning my ex's call. It was the right thing, not to return it, as it only would have set me back and not given me the outcome and answers I was hoping for.

 

Sometimes our unconscious steps in to protect us when we behave in self-destructive ways. Or, in your case, the universe, but if you maintain your own car, just maybe your unconscious helped you achieve a little healthy self-sabotage :-)

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hurts2death Established Member

hurts2death

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greencove no i didnt make it to the beach,

 

first time tire

second attempt transimison error.

 

both checked , i mean it is weird.

flight E Established Member

flight E

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Can't see y u know abt her. My ... stays just 2km from me and I know nothing about her life, completely nothing. Really move on. Try to knnow nothing abt her. Don't discuss her, don't hear about her. Nothing. Consider her dead.

herself Established Member

herself

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do you think i might tricked my self to believe i am in the acceptance phase while not? or just common curiosity?

 

I think you are in the acceptance phase or close, dont question your sucess.

Red flags though, the fact that you even considered going to that beach knowing she would be there is something you need to look at.

 

but the fact that she has contacted has soothed you and keeping track of her whereabouts and who shes dating is breaking NC on your part. Shes still distantly in your life and you need to cut it 100% to really go forward. You got this.

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