How does a relationship guy make it through this hookup culture?

[R3d]

I am a relationship-type guy. I am interested in serious long-term romantic relationships. I don't like the idea of casual dating. Unfortunately though, I hear the dating status quo is deteriorating for folks like me as people are becoming more interested in hookups, flings, casual sex, FWB's, etc. rather than real relationships, especially in high school/college. And I am a 16-year-old guy so it's even worse because apparently from what I hear, there are even more people who are only looking for fun and not serious.

[d0nnivain]

Not many people are serious at 16. The good news it they do grow up.

 

Hang on to your principles & be true to yourself. You will be OK.

[Smilecharmer]

I think you can find like minded girls. I was the same when I was your age and I had bfs, not casual flings. I have nieces and my friends daughters who are around your age and they also want to have a serious bf, and have no interest in hooking up. Hold true to your beliefs and standards. Some woman will appreciate that you weren't careless with your body or your heart.

[No Limit]

Some woman will appreciate that you weren't careless with your body or your heart.

 

Women like me, for example.

OP you'll just need patience, a lot of it.

[Els]

Is your culture THAT hookup-based, or are you perchance focusing on the women who are only interested in hookups?

[solway86]

I can understand.

I was never really one for casual hookups, it always is either proper, real relationship or not, it's different to going on multiple dates and then finding your ideal partner.

[Ninjainpajamas]

To be honest with you it's going to be tough...as you get older you're going to find many women have already been around the block a few times if you're holding out for that "special someone" growing up and "learning" from their mistakes...you know, with the guys who are clearly not the best kind but women tend to chase after. Others will just simply have been in a relationships.

 

So you'll have to be more aggressive and sweep one up before she has a chance to get lost in the maze of hookups, fwbs and casual relationships...because a lot of times the guys are the ones initiating that, a lot of those girls think those guys actually want to be with them and value them as people/women instead of just vagina's.

 

As far as finding a "like-minded" woman...good luck, they are out there but not usually in the "scene", but some girls may surprise you, the ones you think that are conservative are the wildest and the ones that you think are craziest are not what you think.

 

You'll have to make more of an effort to find the kind of women you are looking for, if you can find them before they're taken.

[SmartDude]

Identifying yourself as a "relationship guy" can lead to a lot of unnecessary grief. You may spend lots of time alone that way. Then when you meet someone who you actually connect with, the tendency is to go too deep and too fast into a commitment. Why? Because at that point you are starving for love.

 

"hooking up culture" is not as bad as people make it out to be. It allows you to express feelings for someone, have sex even, without any constricting commitment to each other. Some times a commitment would not make sense, it would not be productive to either person....But you can still share good times together.

 

The real problem I see with so called "relationship guys" is their own jealousy. They don't want to accept that a woman is capable of expressing love to more than one guy at a time. They want to posses her and be exclusive in every situation. Even if exclusiveness does not make sense in the context of that particular relationship.