KeepItKawaii Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 My mother passed away at the age of 56 from a drug overdose two months ago. I had to make the decision to take her off life support as she had lost all cognitive function from lack of oxygen to the brain. I sat with her for 2 days while she was off life support...waiting for her to pass.... After these things you are just never the same especially when you are only 22 years old. I miss her so much tonight. I think about her every night on the drive home after work I am sad I am angry I feel abandoned I feel so many emotions but mostly just pain my soul aches when I think of her. How will I ever accept what has happened?
Reels Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Takes a while, few months. Everything will be fine.
Ronni_W Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Big hugs, KeepItKawaii, and my sympathies on the loss of your mother. Over time it won't feel as raw as it does now...but there is no set 'time-table'...and your feelings of loss will come and go...and be of lower or higher intensity. My Dad passed 40 years ago (I was 13)...and of course I still miss him but it's not an aching miss like at the beginning. I can only suggest to be gentle with yourself and keep company of people who you like and are by nature kind and caring. Back then, grief counseling wasn't a 'thing'...but you might want to check with local funeral homes, hospitals, faith groups if they have a grief/bereavement support group that you can join. I REALLY wish that this had been an option open to me at the time. I think it could have helped tremendously. Again, my sincere condolences. 2
Itspointless Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 My mother passed away at the age of 56 from a drug overdose two months ago. I had to make the decision to take her off life support as she had lost all cognitive function from lack of oxygen to the brain. I sat with her for 2 days while she was off life support...waiting for her to pass.... After these things you are just never the same especially when you are only 22 years old. I miss her so much tonight. I think about her every night on the drive home after work I am sad I am angry I feel abandoned I feel so many emotions but mostly just pain my soul aches when I think of her. How will I ever accept what has happened? Hi KeepItKawaii, that is tough, I am really sorry for you that this had to happen to you. Reading stories like this takes me back in time. I lost my mother 16 years ago to a destructive illness, I was 19 at the time. It seems unthinkable, but your life will get better again. Do not set a time-line, as this while hurt for a good while as that is something that is also needed. In my experience no, you wont be entirely the same. However, you will eventually grow to a new - not in any way lesser - you that you always already had the potential to become. Your brain also has to adept as your mother played a important role in your self-concept (Neuroscientists Confirm That Our Loved Ones Become Ourselves | Psychology Today). It is important to get to know yourself again and at the same time honour your history and your history with your mother. Remember that you did what you could. My experience dealing with families. Try not to get involved with some grieving group, seeking help unless there is some specific self destructive behaviour. Better to go for a walk...be around happy people. Go dancing. Buy some new shoes. I do not entirely agree with this. I never used such groups but I had the luck I knew people of my age who had experienced something similar. For me it was very important to see that some things I went through were actually normal when such things happen in your life. It also shouldn't be something that you hide to people because you want to be perceived as normal. Perhaps it is not ordinary at such a age, but it is normal in our lives that we face death, illnesses and other events that shack our lives at their core. When you have enough posts or have spent enough time spent here feel free to pm me if you want. 1
Itspointless Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 (edited) Ehm I meant 'shake our lifes', not shack (next time I will reread better as I also see some other typos, second languages ...). Edited August 7, 2014 by Itspointless
d0nnivain Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Hugs. I lost my mother over 3 years ago & had to make the same tough decisions you did. It's never easy & you will always miss her. Try to think of the good times but know it's OK to grieve. She will always be a part of you & in time the acute pain will soften & you will be able to remember her & not cry If you think you could use additional support look around for a grief support group. Don't be afraid to talk about her to keep her spirit alive 2
Mary Oak Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 All I can say is I am so sorry. It sucks!! No way to sugarcoat it. It will always suck. But you WILL start to feel differently. Better? Maybe, in a way. Accepting? Yeah, you will. It will happen naturally. Things will never be the same, just different. You will be okay. I promise. Just remember that you have your life to live. The living have to keep on living. We have no choice. I lost my dad 18 months ago. It hurts. A lot. Too much sometimes. You have to feel your emotions. Whenever they rear their head. Feel it. Understand it is okay to hurt. Take care of yourself. Don't worry about being strong. Just be yourself.
Smilecharmer Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 I'm so sorry for your loss. I think this isn't something you just get over. The presence of her love will always be within you. She will be that feeling of joy when you think about your memories with her. Grief takes its own time so be good to yourself and remember she would want you to be happy and healthy at all times. Hugs, safe ones, if ok.
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