Bakezz Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Hi Guys, Been browsing the forum for a while, coping with my own break up but haven't really needed to post anything up until now. I'll give you a little background first: So my ex girlfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago after 3 years and during the relationship, I must admit that I was the one who didn't do the chasing and it was always her worrying about me being the one that would leave. Anyway, when we broke up, I did the usual begging, phoning, texting, but obviously nothing worked. I realised after a while that it was for the best and although I still wanted her back and missed her, I could finally chase my dreams of becoming a Royal Marine and not have anything hold me back. We had a few catch ups, and 'bumped' into each other a few times, but I realised that every time this happened, i lost all progress and started feeling rubbish again. It took me a while, but I finally blocked her out my life and have gone full NC after finding out from a friend who is in a relationship with her friend, that she is 'happy as she is' and 'just wants to be friends'. Obviously not a chance I'm being friends with her, and don't intend to speak to her, as I'm coping really well after going NC. However, I have a friend, as mentioned above, that is in a relationship with her friend. They have a child together, and they made me the Godfather, and I absolutely adore the kid it's her 1st birthday in a weeks time, and they are having a get together of family friends, and you've probably already guessed that yes, my EX will be there. I can't miss the get together, and I'm doing really well coping with the break up, so I guess what I'm asking, is do I just continue NC at the get together and completely ignore her? Or shall I do what everyone would expect me to do there, and act like an adult and act 'Civil' Just as a side note, I do miss her, but I've realised that comes from attachment and missing the memories, not actually her as a person. So I don't want to reconcile or anything, I just don't know how to act around someone that is better when I ignore them. Thank you in advance
David87 Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 You were doing so well... As you said, it's something you have to do and I respect that.Your ex will be there, that will set you back, but it's something you'll have to deal with it since you decided to go. Imo its best to be civil, say hello, ect. the usual, but don't talk too much about your personal life, or how much you miss her loool:)
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 I'm always confused when people here ask "How do I "act" when I see so and so?". Act...? Why do you have to act, why can't you just "be"? Are you asking if you must speak to her? No. Must you even look at her? No. You can be or do whatever makes you feel safe. You can go an hour early and spend time with your God daughter. And leave whenever you feel unsafe. I mean really....why do you feel you must serve everyone else's needs but your own? Break ups are painful and soul sucking...you are allowed and even required to take care of yourself. Even if it means altering how you spend your time with your God daughter. 2
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