How do you move on from an emotionally abusive relationship?

[purplesoccer34]

I didn't have a romantic relationship with this person--rather, just a friendship. But we were talking constantly for 7 years, even though we were just friends. He started to get very emotionally abusive during the past year, but I didn't have the strength to cut him out of my life.

 

Today, I've finally gained the strength to tell him to stop contacting me and I've erased all traces of him from my life. I'm trying to pretend like I never even knew him but for some reason it's so hard. I keep replaying what he said in my mind over and over again, and I feel like crap. He said so much crap about my appearance, my intelligence, my level of success, the way my parents raised me (he said my parents are failures for raising me that way), how he views me as such a spoiled brat, etc. He said that once a guy gets to know my true personality, he'll never like me, and that this applies to every guy on earth. He severely criticized basically ever aspect of me and my life.

 

I know he was just a friend because I never had feelings for him. However, I can't get this off of my mind. I feel like I may never recover from hearing all these belittling comments, because some part of me believes they are true. I even recently started dating a guy who seems to really like me, but I keep replaying this guy's words in my head about how no guy will ever like me. It's making dating so difficult. What can I do to get past this and move on?

[Strength in Healing]

That's incredibly sad. And incredibly common.

 

You move on one day at a time. His words will follow for a while, but you must 100% never speak to him again, and in time, his words will mean less and less.

 

We all have value, and he is not fit to judge on that level. You have a lot to offer, and clearly the guy you're dating see's that. And if things don't work out with this current guy, there will be another -- the one for you (whom this guy could be).

 

Don't let anyone tell you you aren't one in a million. We all have flaws.