Butterflying Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 I just had a long conversation with one of my male friends (Dave). We have known each other since childhood. He just broke up with his girlfriend after 5 years of dating and living together for two years. The reason they broke up: she cheated on him in the past. He forgave her. But she never changed her flirtatious behavior. Last week they were at a party together. She did something with a guy that made Dave suspicious. Later that night he went through her phone and found nude pictures of her that she text messaged to several men, not just the guy from the party. And since she doesn't work and Dave pays all the bills, she had been inviting guys to their home while he was at work. Now that Dave is making her leave (it's his house), she is sad. She hasn't apologized. She doesn't believe flirting with other men is wrong. She swears she hasn't cheated on him since the one time years ago. She insists that he trust her. She says he's insecure. But she doesn't want to break up with him. I told Dave it is best to let her go. The same thing has happened to me with guys in the past. And now he and I both are wondering, why won't cheaters date other cheaters? Why do they start relationships with monogamous people and hurt them?
Woggle Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Because betraying an honest person is part of the fun for them. 3
carhill Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Most people, cheaters included, value loyalty, even if they are not loyal themselves. 4
Author Butterflying Posted August 7, 2014 Author Posted August 7, 2014 Yeah Woggle. I think you're right. I recall an ex-boyfriend who cheated on me. He admitted that he loved me because he knew I would never cheat on him. He said if I ever did cheat, he wouldn't forgive me like I forgave him. He admitted he had too much pride. It made me so angry to know this was his mentality. He knew what he was doing was wrong. But he forbade me from doing the same. And he claimed his behavior was "non-threatening" no matter how it appeared. "You just have to trust me," he always said. Those words have become a permanent monster in my mind. Every time I hear that statement my blood boils!!!
irc333 Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Because they would not be called a cheater if they didn't go after monogamous people. See question answered. lol I just had a long conversation with one of my male friends (Dave). We have known each other since childhood. He just broke up with his girlfriend after 5 years of dating and living together for two years. The reason they broke up: she cheated on him in the past. He forgave her. But she never changed her flirtatious behavior. Last week they were at a party together. She did something with a guy that made Dave suspicious. Later that night he went through her phone and found nude pictures of her that she text messaged to several men, not just the guy from the party. And since she doesn't work and Dave pays all the bills, she had been inviting guys to their home while he was at work. Now that Dave is making her leave (it's his house), she is sad. She hasn't apologized. She doesn't believe flirting with other men is wrong. She swears she hasn't cheated on him since the one time years ago. She insists that he trust her. She says he's insecure. But she doesn't want to break up with him. I told Dave it is best to let her go. The same thing has happened to me with guys in the past. And now he and I both are wondering, why won't cheaters date other cheaters? Why do they start relationships with monogamous people and hurt them? 2
ascendotum Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Most people, cheaters included, value loyalty, even if they are not loyal themselves. ^ I suspect that too. They do seem to cheat on monogamous people, but really you don't know 100%. The person getting cheated on will make a big fuss about it or if not will let close friends know, but maybe they just busted the other person person they got busted themselves or before they got to the stage where the relationship did not fulfill them and maybe could do it too. Maybe the nature of monogamous partner appeals to the cheater for security but their conservative/giving nature does not stimulate the excitement they need after a while. No doubt there are people on LS who have both been cheated on and cheated as well...but in different relationships. I know a few like that.
Woggle Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Quite honestly people who won'y deliver what they demand from others make me sick. I admit I value loyalty and I have a hard line on cheating but I am a faithful and loyal men myself so I practice what I preach. 2
changchewsoon Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Yeah Woggle. I think you're right. I recall an ex-boyfriend who cheated on me. He admitted that he loved me because he knew I would never cheat on him. He said if I ever did cheat, he wouldn't forgive me like I forgave him. He admitted he had too much pride. It made me so angry to know this was his mentality. He knew what he was doing was wrong. But he forbade me from doing the same. And he claimed his behavior was "non-threatening" no matter how it appeared. "You just have to trust me," he always said. Those words have become a permanent monster in my mind. Every time I hear that statement my blood boils!!! Holy, what you just said about your ex, are the exact words my ex said to me back then. Female version of your ex. 1
Recommended Posts