DazedandConfused8 Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 I'm curious, in the whole texting/chase/leader-follower dynamic of relationships, who should be texting who first? After a date with a girl I thought went well (and she says she did too, which is why a second is planned), I've always waited for her to text me first. Sometimes that means she texts me first thing in the morning (I work early, she wakes up later), and other times it means that I don't hear from her until 7 or 8pm. If I'm understanding the whole "chase" correctly, this is good since it means she's coming to me and I'm not hounding her/over-texting her; it keeps me in control of whether I want to talk to her. My other question is about how much to text. I have no issue with texting, but I think that a) some conversations are just better had in person... you can see their face, use your voice, show emotion, etc.. and b) you won't have anything to talk about on the second date. There's a broad question here: how does a guy keep the girl's interest level up while staying in control? What do you think? Am I on the right track?
Assasda Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 This aint a Pepe Le Pew cartoon. There is no chasing going on. I expect to get a "thank you" text from the girl if I paid/planned a good date out. If I dont get that, I feel like they're not feeling me enough. Other than that, I only text stuff, that may be funny that she might be interested eg. Cat videos. Or stuff that is critical. eg. Directions, and news regarding the date, or news in general that she might be interested in. If she wants to prolong the text convo, I'm all for it. Anything else, call her on the phone, and just keep things light. Keep up with stuff like pop news, and you can always talk to women 1
Tayken Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 I know some women tell each other not to do it because it will signify "desperate". It is a stupid idea and this shouldn't be some kind of silly teenage mind game... Act as adults and go with your guts 1
Keenly Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 If some one wants to text you, they will. If they don't it means they don't seem to have a very strong desire to talk to you at the moment, or they are just playing games. 1
Miss Awesome Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 I'm curious, in the whole texting/chase/leader-follower dynamic of relationships, who should be texting who first? After a date with a girl I thought went well (and she says she did too, which is why a second is planned), I've always waited for her to text me first. Sometimes that means she texts me first thing in the morning (I work early, she wakes up later), and other times it means that I don't hear from her until 7 or 8pm. If I'm understanding the whole "chase" correctly, this is good since it means she's coming to me and I'm not hounding her/over-texting her; it keeps me in control of whether I want to talk to her. My other question is about how much to text. I have no issue with texting, but I think that a) some conversations are just better had in person... you can see their face, use your voice, show emotion, etc.. and b) you won't have anything to talk about on the second date. There's a broad question here: how does a guy keep the girl's interest level up while staying in control? What do you think? Am I on the right track? I say do what you want. If you want to text her, text her. If you don't, don't. As for the whole control thing, it sounds to me like she's the one in control. She's the one initiating (i.e., deciding when to start a conversation), and she's the one who apparently has you wondering about your texting etiquette. Like I said, just do what you want. If you have to think this much/work this hard to keep a girl interested, it's probably not worth it. If she's interested, she's interested, and I don't think your texting etiquette is going to be a dealbreaker unless you're blowing up her phone or never responding.
katinlc Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 I think you need to start initiating texts. To this point she has initiated all texts, but she will most likely start second guessing your interest if she is always the one to initiate. You don't have to talk all throughout the day, but I will tell you from a girl's perspective, a text from a guy during the day for no reason, signifies to me that they are thinking about me (which is always nice to know). My guess is when she doesn't text you until 7 or 8 it is because she was waiting to see if you would take the initiative to text her first...gauging your interest. I really think the bottom line should be if you want to talk to her text/call her. Don't worry about too much or who initiates. That's part of the dating process - figuring out how communication is going to work for the two of you!
todreaminblue Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 if you have something to say to her that doesnt warrant a phone a call just say it by text, i think and feel that texting should be natural and mutual it shouldbe one who instigates or has to instigate all the time it should just flow when people want to text each other they do ....within reason...not like my poo is green texts two hundred times a day.....deb
sillyanswer Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 I'm curious, in the whole texting/chase/leader-follower dynamic of relationships, who should be texting who first? Whoever wants to reach out to the other person. My other question is about how much to text. I have no issue with texting, but I think that a) some conversations are just better had in person... you can see their face, use your voice, show emotion, etc.. and b) you won't have anything to talk about on the second date. Some people (and perhaps more with the younger crowd who grew up with it) seem to like lots of texting. I think (and I'm a bit older) that a phone call is better. There's a broad question here: how does a guy keep the girl's interest level up while staying in control? Control... hmm. Maybe this is just semantics but I don't think that relationships or dating should be about "control" or power or that sort of stuff. Do what makes you comfortable, and if you find a partner who likes that level of contact then you've found someone compatible - congratulations. 1
Clockwork Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Who texts who first? Neither. If you are serious about this person and actually like them, you'll call them, plain and simple. Unless you are 16 years old you shouldn't be texting someone you are interested in over phoning them.
The Outlaw Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 A girl that I'm friends with and have hung out with and I text. The bulk of the time, I always initiate the conversations. Sadly, it feels one sided. But when we do things one on one, it's different. But I do believe that they like the chase.
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