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After 5 years she leaves me! :'(

Radot

By Radot
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Radot New Member

Radot

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Posted (edited)

To begin with, thank you for taking the to assist me at these hard times i am going through. So i have been with this girl for nearly the past 5 years, the first 2 years had been the best years of my life, but after the second year my family was really bad, my parents were getting separated and as that was not enough my mum had developed multiple sclerosis symptoms. Being a teenager at the time, as you would imagine it ad a huge impact on me, the only person that i felt that i could show my sadness and sorrow at the time, was my beloved girlfriend.

 

She was always there for me whatever i wanted. The way i dealt with my problems believe it or not, was to force her to do sexual things for me, i know what i did was wrong and i am truly ashamed of my shelf for treating her like ***. That went on for 2 years due to the fact that my parents after the divorce started suing each other for stupid stuff and that meant that they never had time for me. At the begging of the fourth year of our relationship her parents were going through a phase that devastated her and I was not there for her supporting her as she was for me...(as i have said i am ashamed of my actions, by the way her parents are still going on and they might file for a divorce) That forced her to have second thoughts about me as i was still a massive douchbag at the time.

 

She started flirting with one of my mates (who at the time was searching for a girl to bang and probably is going to do it with her, i am 90% positive that he wants her for sexual reasons only) , me being still a dick at the time they fell in love and after some time she left me for him. When that happened i snapped and i immediately tried to win her back by doing all the fancy stuff i could think of, flowers, diner, short romantic trip, you name it i probably did it. I explained to her that i understand why she has left and i truly regret what i have done and i am going to change (Which i have DONE, i have truly radically changed and i mean it).

 

She returned to me but always seemed to go to him at the end, that has been going on for 4 months and it has devastated me. I was on a trip for a 5 weeks and when i returned i was determened to end this madness cause it was devastating me, we met and as soon as she saw me she ran into my arms and started crying her eyes out, she told me that she loves me so badly, that she does not know why she is doing this and then that she needs help. After some day we went for a walk and i could clearly see that she was not happy (as i had said before i have change) i sat her down and asked her if she truly wants a future with me, she responded positively by saying yes, but at the moment i need a brake to see what i actually want.

 

So we agreed to take a brake as she wanted it, we agreed to do whatever we want ( except sexual stuff) with whoever we want, but on the 27th of September we will leave them and try to fix what has gone wrong for the following year to come as i have told her that i want a future with her (why on the 27th? Cause it is the anniversary of the beginning of our 5th year) .

 

She is doing great, i am not, i find lame excuses to call her, only listening to her voice makes me happy. I told her that i want to meet one last time with her (today), i asked her if she is giving me false hope about what is going to follow and she told me that she is not sure if she wants to spend any more time in this relationship. I don't know what to do, i would like to think that all is going to go well but i have a feeling that this what we have is not going to work out even in the future. What is your opinion. Please help me and thank you for responding. (She does truly love me and cherish me, i know it, she is going through some stuff, as i was going at the time, i like to think that this is her way of reacting to it, that she is just over reacting and that she will realize what she is missing out and return.)

 

AGAIN THANK YOU!! I LOVE HER MORE THAN ANYTHING AND DONT WANNA GIVE UP ON HER, NOT YET.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
hoping2heal Established Member

hoping2heal

Posted
Posted

Hmm...so,

 

when did the forcing (not sure what that means in this context?) of sexual stuff stop? What have you done to prove you're ashamed of your actions? Talk is cheap, after all.

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Radot New Member

Radot

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Posted (edited)

Yes talk is cheap, i know that, i talk good and i know i have done wrong multiple times. I have said that i am ashamed of what i have done to her in the past. But now, i am proud of my patience and what i have achieved to do at these hard times that i am going through. I forced her for sexual stuff, i did not beat her up or pout her against the wall, i only was forcing her by my actions to feel guilty for not doing it, so at the end we would have sex or whatever and she would be very sad. I KNOW I HAVE DONE WRONG AND I AM ASHAMED, coming here and admitting the cruel stuff i have done is a big step. AND I TRULY WANT ER BACK IN MY LIFE, THIS TIME I AM NOT GOING TO SCREW UP. I know i deserve what i get, but i really can not do without her, at least for now.

Edited by Radot
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