My girlfriend (F19) broke up with me (M20) because she has cancer.

[Validity]

Hello,

 

This while be a lengthy post, I will try to a minimum. Thank you for looking.

 

I've been with my girlfriend, we'll call her Ashley, for 2 years. For the first year and a half the relationship was great. She was was my first serious girlfriend, and me her first serious boyfriend. Following that first year and a half period, is when issues began arising. I began feeling curious about other women, because she was my first so I talked to her about my concerns. It was a little emotional, and we eventually decided to take a break. I did see other women, flirt with them but one night at a social gathering with my friends a girl tried to hook up with me and I just couldn't do it. It was at that point, I realized I was a fool and I missed Ashley. It took some time for Ashley and I to get back together, but in the end we got back together in May of this year. During the break though, I tried to keep contact with her. She eventually wanted space for a week, and then we started talking again and went out back together.

 

After we got back together, she worked more now (good for her) so we didn't see each other as much but I tried to make it work - Sometimes I feel she didn't really try as hard to do. Anyways we had some disagreements, and she felt like I was "different" and I always tried to be nice and the same to her - I did not notice a difference personally.

 

Fast forward to the end of July, and she tells me awful news she has ovarian cancer. Following this, she breaks up with but makes me promise her to ask her out again once she feels better. I try to convince her I want to stay in a relationship with her to no avail. A day later, I notice on instagram she commented on another guys instagram, leaving messages such as "cute" "you're really good looking" and I drove to her house that night and ask her what's going on. An argument arose, one I tried to avoid but she got fed up and said she wants me to give her space since I stress her out too much and she's sick. She states the boy, whom works as a camp counselor like she does, took her phone while on the bus and did that himself. Personally, it is not like her to cheat...

 

I tried contacting her, and she kept ignoring me so I left her alone - Considering she has cancer, and I don't want to stress her out. Her health is a priority, not the relationship. However, I do not understand why she ignores me and is mean to me now? I gave her three days of space and was able to get a response out of her, and she told me she wants me to leave her alone but she still loves me and wants to be with me again in the future. I said okay, and I asked if I can text her saturday (two days later) and she agrees. On saturday, I leave her a text saying I'm gonna give her space and that I care a lot about her, and if she'd like to talk to me she can. She ignored it...didn't reply. She makes it seems like she really dislikes me, hates me even and is giving me false hope of us being together to "shut me up" (something not like her again)... Being very upset, and uncertain of a future with this girl, 5 days later I'm at a friend's party and meet a girl who's really cool - I kissed the girl I met that night, and I woke this morning and feel guilty about it. I feel guilty, because it's not Ashley and I feel like I cheated. The girl I met at the party, reminded me a lot of Ashley...and I think emotionally I tried being with her because I wanted to emulate Ashley inside my arms and kissing me..like old times...I feel really bad and wrong about this I talked to my best friend, and she told me I did nothing wrong because Ashley is giving me false hope, treating me like crap, ignoring me and I can't wait around for someone not giving a clear answer. - It's not like she said nicely for me to give her space, she said it like I beat her up or something...lots of hostility in her voice. There isn't a guarantee of being back together, and personally I feel it's false hope.

 

My best friend's advice, which I agree with, is to give her space. I should try texting her nicely and see if she wants to talk to me before I leave for school (Ashley said to contact her after a bit), and if she doesn't reply I should talk to her mother before I leave because we fear she may be severely depressed and her mother should be aware of the situation for her daughter's health (not the relationship). I don't want to be too pushy either, but I have no idea what is going to happen. We also don't think she cheated, because that's not the way she comments and it wouldn't be like her though it's entirely possible...My friend told me, even if she ignores you again she'll get lonely eventually and text me someday where I can be nice and choose where I wanna go, but I shouldn't wait for her and pursue other girls since I am, single.

 

Did I handle anything wrong, is there any advice you may offer? I truly appreciate those who reply and read my question - it means a lot.If there is something not clear, or needs a more thorough explanation that could help you in creating advice please let me know.

 

Thank you so much again for reading,

Cheers.

Edited August 6, 2014 by Validity

[pteromom]

I am sorry Ashley is going through this.

 

It is unfair of her to keep you hanging on the line though. You are either together or you aren't. Keeping you hoping for being with her in the future keeps you from moving on with your life.

 

My friend told me, even if she ignores you again she'll get lonely eventually and text me someday where I can be nice and choose where I wanna go, but I shouldn't wait for her and pursue other girls since I am, single.

 

I agree with your friend. You are single, and you shouldn't wait for her.

 

However, if it doesn't cause you too much pain, it is great to be a friend to her while she goes through her battle with cancer.

[Validity]

I am sorry Ashley is going through this.

 

It is unfair of her to keep you hanging on the line though. You are either together or you aren't. Keeping you hoping for being with her in the future keeps you from moving on with your life.

 

 

 

I agree with your friend. You are single, and you shouldn't wait for her.

 

However, if it doesn't cause you too much pain, it is great to be a friend to her while she goes through her battle with cancer.

 

Thanks for reading, and the reply.I am very sorry for her too, and worried as well. I would be a friend to her, but she totally ignores me. She really pushed me out of her life. I don't want to annoy her either due to her being sick.

[pteromom]

Thanks for reading, and the reply.I am very sorry for her too, and worried as well. I would be a friend to her, but she totally ignores me. She really pushed me out of her life. I don't want to annoy her either due to her being sick.

 

All you can do is let her know you are here for her if she needs you, and move on. Don't annoy her. Go have some fun. If you aren't ready to date or kiss other girls, there is no need to rush into that. But that doesn't have to stop you from going out and having a good time.

[Natsu21]

Hello,

 

This while be a lengthy post, I will try to a minimum. Thank you for looking.

 

I've been with my girlfriend, we'll call her Ashley, for 2 years. For the first year and a half the relationship was great. She was was my first serious girlfriend, and me her first serious boyfriend. Following that first year and a half period, is when issues began arising. I began feeling curious about other women, because she was my first so I talked to her about my concerns. It was a little emotional, and we eventually decided to take a break. I did see other women, flirt with them but one night at a social gathering with my friends a girl tried to hook up with me and I just couldn't do it. It was at that point, I realized I was a fool and I missed Ashley. It took some time for Ashley and I to get back together, but in the end we got back together in May of this year. During the break though, I tried to keep contact with her. She eventually wanted space for a week, and then we started talking again and went out back together.

 

After we got back together, she worked more now (good for her) so we didn't see each other as much but I tried to make it work - Sometimes I feel she didn't really try as hard to do. Anyways we had some disagreements, and she felt like I was "different" and I always tried to be nice and the same to her - I did not notice a difference personally.

 

Fast forward to the end of July, and she tells me awful news she has ovarian cancer. Following this, she breaks up with but makes me promise her to ask her out again once she feels better. I try to convince her I want to stay in a relationship with her to no avail. A day later, I notice on instagram she commented on another guys instagram, leaving messages such as "cute" "you're really good looking" and I drove to her house that night and ask her what's going on. An argument arose, one I tried to avoid but she got fed up and said she wants me to give her space since I stress her out too much and she's sick. She states the boy, whom works as a camp counselor like she does, took her phone while on the bus and did that himself. Personally, it is not like her to cheat...

 

I tried contacting her, and she kept ignoring me so I left her alone - Considering she has cancer, and I don't want to stress her out. Her health is a priority, not the relationship. However, I do not understand why she ignores me and is mean to me now? I gave her three days of space and was able to get a response out of her, and she told me she wants me to leave her alone but she still loves me and wants to be with me again in the future. I said okay, and I asked if I can text her saturday (two days later) and she agrees. On saturday, I leave her a text saying I'm gonna give her space and that I care a lot about her, and if she'd like to talk to me she can. She ignored it...didn't reply. She makes it seems like she really dislikes me, hates me even and is giving me false hope of us being together to "shut me up" (something not like her again)... Being very upset, and uncertain of a future with this girl, 5 days later I'm at a friend's party and meet a girl who's really cool - I kissed the girl I met that night, and I woke this morning and feel guilty about it. I feel guilty, because it's not Ashley and I feel like I cheated. The girl I met at the party, reminded me a lot of Ashley...and I think emotionally I tried being with her because I wanted to emulate Ashley inside my arms and kissing me..like old times...I feel really bad and wrong about this I talked to my best friend, and she told me I did nothing wrong because Ashley is giving me false hope, treating me like crap, ignoring me and I can't wait around for someone not giving a clear answer. - It's not like she said nicely for me to give her space, she said it like I beat her up or something...lots of hostility in her voice. There isn't a guarantee of being back together, and personally I feel it's false hope.

 

My best friend's advice, which I agree with, is to give her space. I should try texting her nicely and see if she wants to talk to me before I leave for school (Ashley said to contact her after a bit), and if she doesn't reply I should talk to her mother before I leave because we fear she may be severely depressed and her mother should be aware of the situation for her daughter's health (not the relationship). I don't want to be too pushy either, but I have no idea what is going to happen. We also don't think she cheated, because that's not the way she comments and it wouldn't be like her though it's entirely possible...My friend told me, even if she ignores you again she'll get lonely eventually and text me someday where I can be nice and choose where I wanna go, but I shouldn't wait for her and pursue other girls since I am, single.

 

Did I handle anything wrong, is there any advice you may offer? I truly appreciate those who reply and read my question - it means a lot.If there is something not clear, or needs a more thorough explanation that could help you in creating advice please let me know.

 

Thank you so much again for reading,

Cheers.

 

So much to read so I'll sum it up.

 

Let's throw out the cancer thing out the window right now. Why?

 

When women(and men, but mostly women) generally are going through a serious illness or a hard trial, they are almost always reliant on their significant others to be supportive of them and would stick to them like glue, needing their strength and support.

 

She, your ex(I hope she is now) did none of those things.

 

Listen to yourself. She told you that the camp counselor just "took" her phone, a possession that she keeps to her hip and just started typing those compliments out? You can't really believe that can you? If he did, out of respect for you, she would have shut him down knowing he was interested, but she didn't.

 

And don't you find it weird a while after said incident involving this guy and his flirtatious texts, that she suddenly calls a break? And when you confronted her about it she asks you for space?

 

Has she contacted you much at all? No. All she said was "maybe in the future"

 

It's a little TOO convenient here. Now, I'm not saying she's cheating. According to your words, there isn't enough evidence that she is.

 

But she dumped you. She might not have out right SAID it, but she dumped you.

 

Cancer be damned. I understand that she's going to go through a hard time but it doesn't look like she's too worried about the cancer since she has practically gaslighted you.(look it up, she was looking for an argument as an excuse to dump you) If you want some reasons why, I'll give you some.

 

1. She is 19 and is growing bored of being in a relationship.

2. The Ovarian cancer scares her, and she suddenly feels like she could be missing out on a wild life and wants to go completely "crazy" with partying, flirting and such(and more) before she possibly kicks the bucket.

 

or the more reasonable option.

 

3. she's been having an emotional affair with mr. counselor and you are just NOW knowing about it. Maybe even physical. Look for "sudden argument" in your post for reference. She lashed out at you cause you were suspicious of her. Had she not been guilty...it would have not been a big deal.

 

Point is, bro. It's over. There is no "break" or no chance of reconciliation. If she really cared about you, she would be here with you, working this out. What she is doing to you is called "monkey-branching"

 

There's a chance, right now, that the guy she's interested in isn't fully committed to her like she desires. So in case he doesn't work out, by going on a break, she can easily come back to you, said "Break's over, LET'S GET BACK TOGETHER!" while you sat there, miserable, waiting for months and month for her to "make up her mind" and if you questioned if she was with anyone, she'll say "What does it matter? It was a break." as if your loyal feelings don't matter. DON'T YOU JUST LOVE TECHNICALITIES.

 

You are in a place of emotion, so your head is foggy, but take it from a voice of experience, girls at HER AGE do do this. Immaturity is rampant at that age. A buddy of mine just had a 19 year old girl call a break on him and guess what? She screwed her crush numerous times and then cried to me when he didn't want her anymore, about why guys are such douches when she was cheating on hey now ex boyfriend(he was my bro, so I showed him the conversations and he dropped her like a hot potato.) She was planning on going back to him, but her plans were ruined.

 

Do yourself a favor, don't feel, think. Think about if a real friend, let alone a girlfriend, would treat you this way if they were really a friend? Think about if you would have done the same if you cared about her the way you think she does about you(you were tempted, but you stuck it out) and think about if YOU had cancer....would you just up and dump the person that was there for you.

 

This is a life lesson for you. The life lesson is that at your age, you should expect a lot of heartbreak, but it's still a fun experience till, if you're lucky, you find the one you wanna marry and she feels the same.

 

It teaches you what to tolerate and not to tolerate within relationships.

 

So now, the best thing for you to do, is just go off the grid in her life. Complete "No Contact"

 

Go heal yourself and find other girls. There are many "the ones" find one for you. You're young, ENJOY THE EXPERIENCE.

 

And don't waste time on this chick. If you really wanna stick it to her, do so by living a peaceful, fulfilling life where you are doing just fine without her. Immature chicks can't stand that.

 

But don't do it for her. She doesn't exist in your life anymore. Do it for YOU!

 

Best wishes,

 

Natsu21.

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

OP, are you sure it's ovarian cancer? I'm not doubting her (although it is very uncommon in young women), but if so, please know that ovarian cancer is the most deadly cancer a woman can have and is usually not detected until it's too late. Of course you need to go out and live your own life, but you should recognize that she may be looking at the last few years of hers. That might put some of this in perspective.

[hoping2heal]

Here's a theory...

 

she doesn't trust you.

 

You wanted to see other women, you were honest about it. It's commendable and ethically you did nothing wrong, but that doesn't mean that kind of thing doesn't create insecurity and breed mistrust. Not the kind of mistrust where your partner lies, cheats, and cannot be relied upon to be honest. Rather, the kind of mistrust where your partner cannot be relied on to love you.

 

Now, she's found herself with this diagnosis that is not only life threatening, but could mean she cannot bare children. Let's suppose she doesn't think she can trust you to love her through all of this and she's "mean" to you because she's got a root of anger towards you for that. She is also probably scared and dealing with anger towards her diagnosis.

 

Mr. counselor meanwhile, hasn't broken that trust with her. Doesn't mean something is going on, doesn't mean something isn't. It does mean she relies on him instead of you.

 

A theory and all but...that's what I think is going on.

[Validity]

So much to read so I'll sum it up.

 

Let's throw out the cancer thing out the window right now. Why?

 

When women(and men, but mostly women) generally are going through a serious illness or a hard trial, they are almost always reliant on their significant others to be supportive of them and would stick to them like glue, needing their strength and support.

 

She, your ex(I hope she is now) did none of those things.

 

Listen to yourself. She told you that the camp counselor just "took" her phone, a possession that she keeps to her hip and just started typing those compliments out? You can't really believe that can you? If he did, out of respect for you, she would have shut him down knowing he was interested, but she didn't.

 

And don't you find it weird a while after said incident involving this guy and his flirtatious texts, that she suddenly calls a break? And when you confronted her about it she asks you for space?

 

Has she contacted you much at all? No. All she said was "maybe in the future"

 

It's a little TOO convenient here. Now, I'm not saying she's cheating. According to your words, there isn't enough evidence that she is.

 

But she dumped you. She might not have out right SAID it, but she dumped you.

 

Cancer be damned. I understand that she's going to go through a hard time but it doesn't look like she's too worried about the cancer since she has practically gaslighted you.(look it up, she was looking for an argument as an excuse to dump you) If you want some reasons why, I'll give you some.

 

1. She is 19 and is growing bored of being in a relationship.

2. The Ovarian cancer scares her, and she suddenly feels like she could be missing out on a wild life and wants to go completely "crazy" with partying, flirting and such(and more) before she possibly kicks the bucket.

 

or the more reasonable option.

 

3. she's been having an emotional affair with mr. counselor and you are just NOW knowing about it. Maybe even physical. Look for "sudden argument" in your post for reference. She lashed out at you cause you were suspicious of her. Had she not been guilty...it would have not been a big deal.

 

Point is, bro. It's over. There is no "break" or no chance of reconciliation. If she really cared about you, she would be here with you, working this out. What she is doing to you is called "monkey-branching"

 

There's a chance, right now, that the guy she's interested in isn't fully committed to her like she desires. So in case he doesn't work out, by going on a break, she can easily come back to you, said "Break's over, LET'S GET BACK TOGETHER!" while you sat there, miserable, waiting for months and month for her to "make up her mind" and if you questioned if she was with anyone, she'll say "What does it matter? It was a break." as if your loyal feelings don't matter. DON'T YOU JUST LOVE TECHNICALITIES.

 

You are in a place of emotion, so your head is foggy, but take it from a voice of experience, girls at HER AGE do do this. Immaturity is rampant at that age. A buddy of mine just had a 19 year old girl call a break on him and guess what? She screwed her crush numerous times and then cried to me when he didn't want her anymore, about why guys are such douches when she was cheating on hey now ex boyfriend(he was my bro, so I showed him the conversations and he dropped her like a hot potato.) She was planning on going back to him, but her plans were ruined.

 

Do yourself a favor, don't feel, think. Think about if a real friend, let alone a girlfriend, would treat you this way if they were really a friend? Think about if you would have done the same if you cared about her the way you think she does about you(you were tempted, but you stuck it out) and think about if YOU had cancer....would you just up and dump the person that was there for you.

 

This is a life lesson for you. The life lesson is that at your age, you should expect a lot of heartbreak, but it's still a fun experience till, if you're lucky, you find the one you wanna marry and she feels the same.

 

It teaches you what to tolerate and not to tolerate within relationships.

 

So now, the best thing for you to do, is just go off the grid in her life. Complete "No Contact"

 

Go heal yourself and find other girls. There are many "the ones" find one for you. You're young, ENJOY THE EXPERIENCE.

 

And don't waste time on this chick. If you really wanna stick it to her, do so by living a peaceful, fulfilling life where you are doing just fine without her. Immature chicks can't stand that.

 

But don't do it for her. She doesn't exist in your life anymore. Do it for YOU!

 

Best wishes,

 

Natsu21.

 

I checked the likes on instagram, and I'm pretty sure the most recent are always on top. All the likes are on the top, indicate they were done at the same time period. So it's very possible they were liked at the same time, meaning he could of had taken her phone.. She said she hated how I thought with her, and I stressed her out and it hurts her body resulting in her to dumb me for some space. Thought out of respect, she could of at least told me which makes me think.

[Validity]

Here's a theory...

 

she doesn't trust you.

 

You wanted to see other women, you were honest about it. It's commendable and ethically you did nothing wrong, but that doesn't mean that kind of thing doesn't create insecurity and breed mistrust. Not the kind of mistrust where your partner lies, cheats, and cannot be relied upon to be honest. Rather, the kind of mistrust where your partner cannot be relied on to love you.

 

Now, she's found herself with this diagnosis that is not only life threatening, but could mean she cannot bare children. Let's suppose she doesn't think she can trust you to love her through all of this and she's "mean" to you because she's got a root of anger towards you for that. She is also probably scared and dealing with anger towards her diagnosis.

 

Mr. counselor meanwhile, hasn't broken that trust with her. Doesn't mean something is going on, doesn't mean something isn't. It does mean she relies on him instead of you.

 

A theory and all but...that's what I think is going on.

 

Interesting proposal thank you.

 

 

OP, are you sure it's ovarian cancer? I'm not doubting her (although it is very uncommon in young women), but if so, please know that ovarian cancer is the most deadly cancer a woman can have and is usually not detected until it's too late. Of course you need to go out and live your own life, but you should recognize that she may be looking at the last few years of hers. That might put some of this in perspective.

 

She said she has three tumors in her ovary :/. I'm very worried about her health...I assume that is ovarian cancer?

[Natsu21]

Here's a theory...

 

she doesn't trust you.

 

You wanted to see other women, you were honest about it. It's commendable and ethically you did nothing wrong, but that doesn't mean that kind of thing doesn't create insecurity and breed mistrust. Not the kind of mistrust where your partner lies, cheats, and cannot be relied upon to be honest. Rather, the kind of mistrust where your partner cannot be relied on to love you.

 

Now, she's found herself with this diagnosis that is not only life threatening, but could mean she cannot bare children. Let's suppose she doesn't think she can trust you to love her through all of this and she's "mean" to you because she's got a root of anger towards you for that. She is also probably scared and dealing with anger towards her diagnosis.

 

Mr. counselor meanwhile, hasn't broken that trust with her. Doesn't mean something is going on, doesn't mean something isn't. It does mean she relies on him instead of you.

 

A theory and all but...that's what I think is going on.

 

Point blank, she likes him.

 

She doesn't like you.

 

Move on.

[Natsu21]

I checked the likes on instagram, and I'm pretty sure the most recent are always on top. All the likes are on the top, indicate they were done at the same time period. So it's very possible they were liked at the same time, meaning he could of had taken her phone.. She said she hated how I thought with her, and I stressed her out and it hurts her body resulting in her to dumb me for some space. Thought out of respect, she could of at least told me which makes me think.

 

She dumped you cause she no longer respected you.

 

But she seems to respect mr. counselor just fine, she keeps him around.

 

Dude, do some thinking.

 

And stop blaming yourself.

[bubbaganoosh]

Interesting proposal thank you.

 

 

 

 

She said she has three tumors in her ovary :/. I'm very worried about her health...I assume that is ovarian cancer?

 

Maybe it is and maybe it isn't. Has she had it verified by a doctor and had tests done to see if the tumors are cancerous or benign or is she just assuming?

[Natsu21]

Maybe it is and maybe it isn't. Has she had it verified by a doctor and had tests done to see if the tumors are cancerous or benign or is she just assuming?

 

Ovarian cancer is no joke...

 

You really should look into this, cause I think you're being snowballed.

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

Interesting proposal thank you.

 

 

 

 

She said she has three tumors in her ovary :/. I'm very worried about her health...I assume that is ovarian cancer?

 

OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. No it isn't, not at all. It sounds like your girlfriend might have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). Look it up. It's extremely common, and while it can cause some long-term problems in certain circumstances, it is not usually an issue at all. It is slightly less serious than learning you have diabetes. And she might not even have PCOS, she may just have multiple simple cysts.

 

For the record, most women have ovarian cysts at some point. Furthermore, 99% of ovarian tumors (cysts!) are harmless, and the vast majority of these will disappear without the woman ever knowing she had them. While they can cause problems---I had one that leaked estrogen and made me batty for a bit, and in some cases they can rupture and bleed---the bottom line is if they don't recommend surgery, there is not a problem. Even when I did need surgery, I was fine in a week.

 

Either this girl's doctor is completely irresponsible for letting her believe she has a serious issue or she's just making excuses. I'm sorry, but your girlfriend does not have cancer. She is not dying. She is not even sick. She's being an idiot.

[Lostdreams]

 

Let's throw out the cancer thing out the window right now. Why?

 

When women(and men, but mostly women) generally are going through a serious illness or a hard trial, they are almost always reliant on their significant others to be supportive of them and would stick to them like glue, needing their strength and support.

 

She, your ex(I hope she is now) did none of those things.

 

 

 

Natsu21.

 

Sorry I have to disagree with this statement and this is based on my own cancer experience. I had exactly the opposite reaction -even though my husband, family and friends were very supportive - I was not clingy at all - I was even very reluctant to discuss it with them - It was me against the world - I saw it as my personal battle

[Validity]

Guys she cheated on me.

 

I went to her house, called her mom beforehand asking if I can pick up some things. I told her I was concerned about her cancer, and her mom said she doesn't have cancer. She reveleased Ashley told her a while ago we broke up and she is seeing another boy - the one I found.

 

I have closure, and now I must get over this. Amazing how innocent and amazing she was, but really she's a weak piece of you know what.

 

I have to get tested for STD's, she said her ovaries hurt when we had sex I don't know if she made that up for months so she could say cancer but perhaps she has an STD. I'm terrified.

 

Her mom said she spends a lot of time at work because she met this boy. I wish I also told her that her daughter asked me for 300 dollars, to help pay off her debt that she owed her mom. She didn't owe her, probably another excuse to stay late at work and not make me suspicious.

 

I shook both her parents hand and said thank you for everything.

 

I need to move on with life.

[Zahara]

Oh Validity, I'm so sorry to hear this. It's amazing the levels people will sink to in their selfish and self-absorbed world.

 

As hard as this is, it's a blessing. You've dodged a freaking A bomb. I can't imagine someone lying that they have cancer. You have to question their character.

[Validity]

Oh Validity, I'm so sorry to hear this. It's amazing the levels people will sink to in their selfish and self-absorbed world.

 

As hard as this is, it's a blessing. You've dodged a freaking A bomb. I can't imagine someone lying that they have cancer. You have to question their character.

 

I'm trying not to think about her. She was such a innocent girl, but what a low life piece of crap to make me wonder what happened to her. COmplete 360 from what she preached, how she got cheated on and hated it but does it to me.

Edited August 7, 2014 by Validity

[Validity]

She wanted to keep me around....She had "cancer" aka dating this low life. If things didn't work out, she'd magically get better and wish to see me.

 

How do I get over this.

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

She wanted to keep me around....She had "cancer" aka dating this low life. If things didn't work out, she'd magically get better and wish to see me.

 

How do I get over this.

 

Did you see my post on the previous page? She may very well have ovarian cysts, which is A) not cancer and B) not an excuse for being a bad person and C) not even serious. The good news is that ovarian cysts aren't caused by STDs, and her doctor probably would have told her if she had any. Still, you should always be checked for STDs at the beginning and ending of any relationship. That's just good sense.

 

I'm so sorry she treated you so poorly. It's inexcusable no matter how young and dumb she may be. However, she's going to come home and have the most uncomfortable conversation imaginable. Not only does she have to face the consequences for her behavior, she has to face it from her parents, who are probably shocked and ashamed. She may learn a lesson from this one because it's going to hurt.

 

How do you start getting over it? One day at a time. Start by hyper-scheduling your day: going to the gym, a nice restaurant, your friend's house, and so on. Even schedule yourself a pizza-and-Netflix night! Keep yourself occupied until you feel distant enough to process your feelings in a calm, rational way. It will ache like hell for a while, but soon you'll realize you deserve so much better and you'll be excited for the future.

[Validity]

Did you see my post on the previous page? She may very well have ovarian cysts, which is A) not cancer and B) not an excuse for being a bad person and C) not even serious. The good news is that ovarian cysts aren't caused by STDs, and her doctor probably would have told her if she had any. Still, you should always be checked for STDs at the beginning and ending of any relationship. That's just good sense.

 

I'm so sorry she treated you so poorly. It's inexcusable no matter how young and dumb she may be. However, she's going to come home and have the most uncomfortable conversation imaginable. Not only does she have to face the consequences for her behavior, she has to face it from her parents, who are probably shocked and ashamed. She may learn a lesson from this one because it's going to hurt.

 

How do you start getting over it? One day at a time. Start by hyper-scheduling your day: going to the gym, a nice restaurant, your friend's house, and so on. Even schedule yourself a pizza-and-Netflix night! Keep yourself occupied until you feel distant enough to process your feelings in a calm, rational way. It will ache like hell for a while, but soon you'll realize you deserve so much better and you'll be excited for the future.

 

Thank you - I will get tested. I saw her post, however I didn't really address it because the circumstances changed. Your post actually made me figure out she was cheating. Cancer seems so....weird.

 

I wish I told her dad, her mom didn't really seem to care. But idk if anything will happen. I just feel like I can never trust another girl or person again, she was so "faithful" and perfect got along and she just cheats. Now that I think of it there were some signs during the relationship that I should of caught on too. Live and learn yes, but how can I trust again after this?

[Natsu21]

Guys she cheated on me.

 

I went to her house, called her mom beforehand asking if I can pick up some things. I told her I was concerned about her cancer, and her mom said she doesn't have cancer. She reveleased Ashley told her a while ago we broke up and she is seeing another boy - the one I found.

 

I have closure, and now I must get over this. Amazing how innocent and amazing she was, but really she's a weak piece of you know what.

 

I have to get tested for STD's, she said her ovaries hurt when we had sex I don't know if she made that up for months so she could say cancer but perhaps she has an STD. I'm terrified.

 

Her mom said she spends a lot of time at work because she met this boy. I wish I also told her that her daughter asked me for 300 dollars, to help pay off her debt that she owed her mom. She didn't owe her, probably another excuse to stay late at work and not make me suspicious.

 

I shook both her parents hand and said thank you for everything.

 

I need to move on with life.

 

I knew it. But even I find this in horrible taste

 

No Contact...please no Contact...chick is toxic. Get the heck away

[Validity]

I knew it. But even I find this in horrible taste

 

No Contact...please no Contact...chick is toxic. Get the heck away

 

Dude she is a pathological liar or something. There was so many signs I realize now! She made so many excuses and told me about them. Like cancer, she told me in extreme detail how they tested her... Holy crap.

 

Sorry for typos, I'm on mobile.

[Natsu21]

Dude she is a pathological liar or something. There was so many signs I realize now! She made so many excuses and told me about them. Like cancer, she told me in extreme detail how they tested her... Holy crap.

 

Sorry for typos, I'm on mobile.

 

You're not alone.

 

June of last year, my ex said she needed a break to focus on her career and graduate school. I asked her if there was someone else and she flat out denied it.

 

Too bad it only lasted two months. She left her phone at her boyfriend's house and he answered it. Said they've been going out for a while.

 

She was a liar. Sadly, I still clung to her not realizing how toxic she was.

 

Be stronger than me. Do...not...contact this girl for the rest of your life unless she's at your front door begging for you back, and even so...slam the door in her face.

 

The chick had the balls, and the crappy moral character to pull out a life-threatening story just to have sex with another guy while you're giving her her emotional needs.

 

That's not just immature, that's sociopathic.

 

Please clear this moral trash from you and let her go on to a life of getting pumped and dumped...and you go out there, reaffirm that if one girl liked you, another will, and start living life.

[Natsu21]

Remember guys...

 

don't stick your dick in crazy.