d0nnivain Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 Saw an EX today. I knew there was a good chance we'd cross paths. I had to go somewhere for work & that location shares a parking garage with his office building. Seeing him wasn't the issue although the small, mean, vain part of me was happy to see I wasn't the only one who put on weight. What freaked me out was in the 3-4 minutes we exchanged pleasantries he asked me about my husband by name & offered condolences on the deaths of my parents. I have not seen this EX the 6 years I have been married; the last time I saw this EX I wasn't even engaged. So how the heck did he know my husband's name and why would he have bothered to remember it? Also how did he know my parents passed? Granted he may have read an obituary but why would he? It feels odd to me that he knows this stuff. It's barely been a few hours. I'm sure it will diminish in importance in the next few days but right now it just feels weird. Has anybody else ever had an EX disclose to them that the EX was still keeping some kind of tabs?
preraph Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 Well, it all depends. Did you not have any friends in common? I mean all my exes know my other friends and we all know what is happening because people will update you about big things whether you care or not. If you think he didn't know anyone and isn't seeing your Facebook or someone else's that might have some stuff on it and that the only way he could know these things is through some investigation, then I'd need to know was he monitoring you when you were together and right after you broke up? Was he hard to get rid of? My guess is he is in some contact with someone you both know and not to worry. When I'm president, all my exes will be transported to a planet out of this solar system. I have softened on the issue. I used to take more of a "black widow spider" approach to disposing of exes.
Author d0nnivain Posted August 6, 2014 Author Posted August 6, 2014 We have a LOT of people in common (probably well over 100 -- more business then genuine friends on both sides) but we don't have any FB people in common & I have no other social media accounts. We broke up before the advent or at least mainstream of most on line networks. Of those 100 I doubt that 96 of them know my husband's name & of the 4 that may have heard it at some point, I have no reason to believe that 3 of them would remember. The last person was always exclusively my friend & has always reported contact with this EX; to the best of my knowledge she hasn't seen him in 6 years. I was therefore sort of shocked when he mentioned my husband's name. If he just said husband, I would have assumed in passing somebody told him I'd gotten married or he figured it out from the rings on my fingers. The last time I had seen this guy, he also knew 2 things then that I hadn't expected him to know but both had been covered by local media & extensively covered by industry publications so I was just sort of surprised that he paid attention. I'm probably over thinking it.
gaius Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 Did you have one of those marriage announcements in the newspaper? Does it have your marriage listed if he checks your FB but you're not friends? I'll check in on all my ex's FB's (except for one) occasionally even though I'm not on them and one of mine said she still reads my posts here, so it was probably just a curiosity thing on his part. Seems pretty natural.
TAV Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 How about him? Did he get married too or is he in a LTR? If he has not moved on it would make sense that he 'stalks' you on the internet. Google yourself and see what he could have seen?
Haydn Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 Hi Don, Don`t think he was keeping tabs, just in the know. You had people in common? But it seemed amicable?
Author d0nnivain Posted August 6, 2014 Author Posted August 6, 2014 When you Google me, professional info shows up. My husband has a different last name & we are pretty private. I assume the EX has moved on. He introduced me to the woman he was with who I assume was his GF. I have no idea how long they have been together & I don't know for a fact that they are together but she called him "dear" and he told me they were on their way to a matinee at the theater. She looked a lot like me & he has a type so I drew certain conclusions. He is not married. His disbelief in the institution was a primary driver behind our break up. Our break up wasn't mean spirited. I called this EX when his father was ill & again when he died; my parents had wanted to go pay their respects & I wanted to make sure that my presence wouldn't make things worse. I was sadly told to stay away but that's another story. I suppose he could see my husband's name if he looked on FB. It just freaked me out that he remembered it. I already forgot the name of the woman he introduced me to. Then again, when he said her name & while she & I were shaking hands my head was buzzing with DH's name so who knows.
pteromom Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 Some people remember things like that easily. It's possible he has kept tabs on you over the years, but also possible he just got the info from someone and has retained it for whatever reason. I wouldn't worry about it too much. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 It doesn't sound too unlikely a thing to happen, although I guess it can spook you out a little bit. I still have the odd person in my life that knows exes of mine that I'm no longer in touch with and there's a fair chance I guess that they'd tell me if something huge had happened in their lives, just as a 'ooh, did you know?' kinda thing. I imagine if one of them was getting married for example that a friend would let me know sensitively in case I heard it elsewhere and felt shocked or upset or whatever. I mean, it sounds like he certainly has retained at least a slight interest in you. But that doesn't really mean anything. I know personally I'm still curious about exes and what they've been up to since we parted, even when I'm over them.
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