booshie Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 I've been dating a guy for about 4 months and really enjoy his company. He's everything Ive ever wanted in a guy- he's sweet, smart, ambitious, caring, VERY DEVOTED, and takes such good care of me. Whereas Ive always been very into looks, he's not particularly good-looking, but I am attracted to him enough that I like being intimate with him. However, the problem is as follows. Although I am attracted to him, I do not like kissing him. He's not in any way a bad kisser, I just feel absolutely no emotion when I kiss him. Not to sound crude or mean, but I basically feel like I'm kissing a dog. No emotion, passion, or chemistry in it. Just wet lips. I can't justify breaking off because I don't feel anything when I kiss him, because i really do like him a lot, I enjoy his company and he's such a great guy. I've discussed this with him because it really concerns me, and he mentioned that perhaps I have a wall up. I don't really know where to turn. In general I am a closed person and do not like getting too attached to people. I already pyschoanalyzed myself and think that perhaps it's as Julia Roberts mentioned in pretty woman...she doesnt like to kiss because then you're connected. Perhaps. But I dont really feel that that is the true reason. Any suggestions? thanks
cafayodude Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 well i think you should tell him how you want to be kiss. Maybe you know how you would like to be kiss.
Author booshie Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 I did, mentioned I like it dry and soft and gentle...which he does...still dont feel anything though
Author booshie Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 mainly I'm just concerned that it's something deeper than that..
cafayodude Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 well ok do you love him if now why are you with him? Its nor fair to be with someone that think you love him
Author booshie Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 Put it this way- I LIKE him, I dont love him (possibly yet)...but what is love then? Cuz I've been in "love" with people and it turned out that it was mearly infatuation and/or the chase. I've been in unhealthy relationships where I was chasing the guy and here's finally a healthy relationship. So no, after 4 months I dont love him (yet) but I def. respect and enjoy him.
laRubiaBonita Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 some people just have no chemistry. my very first bf, i felt nothing when i kissed him, but he kissed horribley too. maybe you are pre-psyching yourself out about it, or expecting more than what is actually there. has this happened before?
Author booshie Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 Im kinda new at kissing to be honest...any suggestions?
cafayodude Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 Well where do you like to be kiss? Most people like to get kiss on there lips others on there neck. The neck feel good lol. And the back of the neck as well.
Author booshie Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 right..so that made me feel a whole lot better becasue i LOVE when he kisses me on my ears and neck..i go out of my mind...maybe i jsut feel this pressure that i should feel more on my lips than i do....but maybe im just one of those people who feel it more somewhere else. does that make sense?
cafayodude Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 yes it does. How old are you by the way?
Author booshie Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 20...this is my first "real" relationship vs. jsut making out and fwb and/or obsessing over a guy...never really kissed someone in the sense of doing it for love vs. just the sexual aspect...so am a little lost here.... Dont really want to talk to any of my friends about this cuz theyre big mouths and then itll jsut get back and itll embarres him...
Author booshie Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 so you would say that its totally fine and i just have to focus on what i do like doing? that makes me feel better cuz i was concerned that it was somethign deeply rooted about hte relationship itself. if so do you maybe have any suggestions to try and improve on teh lips thing?
cafayodude Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 well make him lay on the bed or where you can lol and slowly kiss his lips very slow and soft. ( that drives us wild) lol And make sure you wear lip gloss which smells good. And just start to kiss him on his neck and maybe kiss him on his chest. But dont go all the way there lol just make him think that.
Author booshie Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 its not really a problem when Im kissing him...he loves it...its when im being kissed that i dont like it so much...any suggestions as to what i can tell him to maybe do so that i enjoy it a little more?
cafayodude Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 well ok i tell you this. Most females like to be on the lips and on the neck. Do you like you neck being lick? Do you like to hug when kissing? Do you like to get back rubs?
Author booshie Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 LOVE my neck being licked/touched anything and everythign there...like to hug...dont like back rubs so much...gives me the chills and am very ticklish so it tickles.
cafayodude Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 do you have any zones that you want to be kiss?
savethedrama4allama Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 Hey, why are you in llama land larubiabonita? Llamaland has a population of 1, and I was here first.
Author booshie Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 yea..so those zones are taken care of kinda thing...i just want to be able to enjoy kissing on hte lips more than i do. but if what youre saying is true, that there are jsut areas that everyone has that just dont do it for them, and if my lips are that area then there isnt anything to be worried about right? or are lips the kind of thing/place that EVERYONE loves being kissed on? im just at a lost...and i kinda feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about this for reasons i mentioned above.
cafayodude Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 well kissing is something that everyone loves. I love kissing too. But i like kissing for long time. If you want lips to be kiss then you have to learn how. If you get kiss in other zone in the body its good too. But on the lips is something good.
Author booshie Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 ..so any recommendations on how to go about enjoying being kissed on the lips/having him do it the right way?
cafayodude Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 tell him to lick your lips and then make him suck on your top lip and then kiss more on the chin and neck and back to the lips.
Author booshie Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 kinda like to mix it up maybe..not focus on either hte lips or neck exlusively...so it all kinda blends into one so i enjoy all? that sounds good...thanks..any other tips?
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