Author disparate Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 disparate Maybe you have been a little lonely lately? I have discovered that when I'm lonely or tedious I start to think about her, and if I let thinking going without stopping it, I found myself almost calling her. Last weekend it was hell for me. I felt terrible because I almost break NC. I don't know but maybe is your case. It's been 4 months since BU (LC) and 1 month 1 week of strict NC for me. I was feeling better but last weekend was a tough one. Keep going man, do not break NC, when I was almost doing it, I thought "what I am going to get if I do this?" Think about that. Nothing good comes from breaking NC. I wish you the best. You're right, I feel when I'm lonely or very stressed with life I start to think a lot more about her and I suppose that's because she was the first and only person I liked to whenever I was feeling down or facing a challenge and she's no longer there so naturally I think of her. I feel your pain mate and it really helps to vent on here because I don't discuss this with anybody in my day to day life and the ability to vent and talk with people who are going through a similar experience helps a lot.
Author disparate Posted August 6, 2014 Author Posted August 6, 2014 So I've posted before here on another thread my story but basically been completely NC for almost 7 months now (she broke up with me) but she's still there in the back of my mind. Some days are great, I don't think of her at all but others are almost as bad as the first few days post breakup and NC! I had hoped that by this stage I'd be over her and completely indifferent but that's not the case, I still hurt a lot and yearn for her. I guess some days I'm hoping she'll contact me but that hasn't happened yet and I doubt it will since it's been quite a long time. I know it shouldn't matter if she does contact me or not and I also know that anything other than a clear and unequivocal apology will be ignored by me (breadcrumbs) but part of me wants to know that she's also hurting! Then some days I get thoughts of reaching out to her... maybe she's too scared to contact me? Had a tough few days so thought I'd come on and vent. Thanks
erklat Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 No, she's not scared and you keep your nc. I suffer from depression and anxiety and I am codependant on top. My recovery is extremely slow. Next month it will be a year and I still think of her daily. Dating even doesn't help. All it does it shows me how actually it is not easy to find someone you will feel truly in love with. However, it will get better. You just maintain your nc and do not break it no matter what.
Smarty Pants Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 You won't completely forget her. I think a about all my exes from time to time. As long as you're thinking a about them less, you're on the right track.
leavesonautumn Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 Hey, I'm at 7 months too Most days I feel awesome, some days I feel horrible but the good days outweigh the bad! Just focus on that. I have nowhere near the amount of bad days or thoughts that I did in the beginning and honestly, it's just going to get better and better for us. Chin up.
Author disparate Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 Thanks for the responses guys! I don't know what's going on with me, because I have never had such strong feelings over someone who left me and for so long afterwards. So, lately I have been dating a very nice girl and things have progressed but the more they progress the more I think about my ex?! It's driving me crazy... I'm doing the right thing in trying to move on but whenever I am with this lady who is very intelligent and nice etc I can't stop thinking of my ex and I feel so bad because it's completely unfair on the lady I'm with. I have almost convinced myself lately that I should just send out one last e-mail to my ex (she will most likely respond ... I think), to clear the air I guess? I feel it will give me some closure? I really don't know but I just feel I'm never going to be able to function without her factoring in my thoughts.
Author disparate Posted August 27, 2014 Author Posted August 27, 2014 Just venting on here... Still haven't broken NC, I've considered it a few times but I never really got close to breaking NC. She's really haunting my thoughts, not sure why and how I can stop this but the past few weeks have been terrible. I feel like I'm back to square one although it's approaching 8 months NC, and it's not like I've done anything to make me regress. I have no way of knowing anything about her or what she's doing etc and I haven't broken NC at all! Been feeling miserable lately about everything and not sure I can see any light at the end of the tunnel at the moment
Simon Phoenix Posted August 27, 2014 Posted August 27, 2014 Just venting on here... Still haven't broken NC, I've considered it a few times but I never really got close to breaking NC. She's really haunting my thoughts, not sure why and how I can stop this but the past few weeks have been terrible. I feel like I'm back to square one although it's approaching 8 months NC, and it's not like I've done anything to make me regress. I have no way of knowing anything about her or what she's doing etc and I haven't broken NC at all! Been feeling miserable lately about everything and not sure I can see any light at the end of the tunnel at the moment No Contact is full of rough patches like the one you're going through. Just truck ahead, weather the storm, and it will pass. Some more will come down the road, but they'll be less in frequency and strength over time. You'll be OK, you just have to batten down the hatches, so to speak.
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