bulldogz Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 Is it possible to confuse nostalgia about your own past and own happiness with missing someone in particular? I'm just curious... I do indeed miss so much about my ex. There are just some specific experiences that--when I'm reminded of them--jerk tears. But those experiences would still be in the past even if I was still with her. Even if I was still with her, those events took place at a different time in my life, and in the course of our relationship. And in the context of the fun times I miss so much, how much was HER, the place and time, ME, the time in our relationship, the time in ANY relationship, etc (realizing some of those are interconnected and synergistic)? (this is asked rhetorically)... This is only a part of the "whole" of my missing her, but it is a big part at times.
carhill Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 Something interesting I've noted in women I know, mainly wives of male friends. They appear to confuse my 'stories', sometimes waxing nostalgic on my married life, in general no differently than telling the 'war stories' of my youth, for some subterranean love tunnel for my exW. I truly will never understand the machinations of a woman's mind. In my, male, mind, I simply loved who I was when I was married and those years were important ones in life worth remembering. A friend's wife this past weekend asked me if my exW came to me ask me to plan a trip for her (I was the cheap travel guru in our M), would I do it. Without hesitation, I said 'no, she's a big girl and can do her own travel planning'. She found that apparently contradictory to my 'stories' about our world travels together, like my exW was the focus of those feelings. She wasn't. It was the travels themselves which were the important memories. Good times. Like I said, apples and oranges. I don't find the two fruits confusing but apparently some others might. 1
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