Satori Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 Hello, first time poster here and I guess the first time I felt the need to talk to strangers about what I'm feeling too. So my tale starts about 3 years ago when I went on a volunteer project far away and of course met a very pretty and sweet girl. We got along great and could talk for hours and not get bored with each other. I spent 2 months with her while she was the project leader. There were about three or four other people there as well. We didn't hook up because as project leader she's not allowed to 'do anything' with the volunteers, but mainly because I was just too scared to do anything out of fear that things would get uncomfortable and ruin the atmosphere, but mostly because I was just too scared. We said our farewells and promised to stay in touch, which we did sparingly for various reasons. As soon as I got home I knew I was head over heels in love and I was hurting for a good six months. Angry at myself for not taking the initiative etc. I finally got over her enough to not cry once a week and carry on with my life, but I did still think about her regularly and promising myself that we'll end up together sometime. Fast forward two and a halve years and she's coming to my country for a couple of days and of course I visited her for the duration, two days. We had a good time even though things were a bit different, she traveled with a tour group so we were never truly alone. Regardless looking back there were plenty of opportunities for me to kiss her, but again I was just too scared for whatever underlying reason. I mean we even say love you to each other through Facebook and she must have feelings for me or else we wouldn't have gone through what we did. The minute after we said our farewells and I managed to give her a small kiss on the lips I turned away and walked home and all those old feelings I felt two and a halve years came rushing back and I've been crying ever since. Feeling so foolish as some of our mutual friends (from the project) all assumed we'd hit off in some way or another and I blew it again. I can't spend another 6 months going through some weird break up depression again. That said I'd go and visit her in a heartbeat if I had the time and money to do so. I haven't talked to anyone about this, which is why I probably came here, just to get it off my chest and hopefully get some advice. Should I tell her how I feel, in not so many words, like I did here or pray that the next time we meet I'll have my act together and dare to just go for it? I'm mainly looking for a way to not feel so depressed and foolish, but the damage is done. P.S. I may come across here as a bumbling idiot who's too afraid to speak to girls, but that's not true. I've had several girlfriends and live a generally happy life, except when the aforementioned happens
d0nnivain Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 Announcements are never a good plan. Before you go spilling your guys, what are the realistic possibilities that you two can ever be in the same country to date? If that is not a hurdle that can be cleared, she may forever have to be the mystery crush of your past.
Author Satori Posted August 6, 2014 Author Posted August 6, 2014 Oh no I don't mean some big announcement with all kinds of details. I just think I should at least tell her how I feel about her and find out if she feels the same. I cant stand the not knowing. Regarding your question, I cant answer that until I know how she feels. I'm willing at least to take a small gamble.
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