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Why do guys think they can still talk to a girl that's NOT interested?

Lipitor11

By Lipitor11
in General Relationship Discussion

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Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

Posted
Posted

This annoys me. I'm not interested in this guy, yet he still continues to greet me as if he still wants to me by "friend." And if I give him the cold shoulder, he calls me out.

MoreCoffee Established Member

MoreCoffee

Posted
Posted

He's under the allusion you're worth it.

  • Like 6
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
This annoys me. I'm not interested in this guy, yet he still continues to greet me as if he still wants to me by "friend." And if I give him the cold shoulder, he calls me out.

 

Wow, so I guess guys should now ask permission first if we can talk to a woman?

  • Like 3
Keenly Established Member

Keenly

Posted
Posted

The way you wrote this comes off as really condescending.

 

 

God forbid some one likes conversing with you. You should not act like you are better than him.

 

Just make stupid idle conversation for 5 seconds and then walk away.

  • Like 8
StumpyNB Member

StumpyNB

Posted
Posted

How dare he continue to talk to you and greet you! You should totally report him to the police or something!

 

You miss, need a reality check.

  • Like 5
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Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

Posted
  • Author
Posted

It just seems like its a "double-standard." If it was the other way around, for example, there's a guy that I like and he isn't interested in me-would it be appealing for me to say hi, and have some 2 minute conversation with him-even though he thinks I'm disgusting? Of course not. Why do I have to be "lady-like" towards some guy that I'm not interested in, heck guys certainly don't return the 2 minute conversation back to a girl if he's not interested, why should I be obligated to? Just because I'm a girl? Unfair, I can be mean and nasty too.

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted

I agree he shouldn't harass you but the way you wrote this came off really bad.

Glinda.Good Established Member

Glinda.Good

Posted
Posted

You know, being polite and having short conversations with people you're not interested in is a part of normal everyday life.

 

If he is stalking or harassing you, I suggest telling him to please leave you alone, face to face.

  • Like 1
d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

Some people just don't take no for an answer.

 

Are you unwilling to date him or are you unwilling to have anything to do with him? If you just don't want to date him but otherwise don't hate his company, I see no harm in talking to him. If you really want him to go away how direct are you willing to be? He may be clinging to hope because you are not being clear.

  • Like 2
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
It just seems like its a "double-standard." If it was the other way around, for example, there's a guy that I like and he isn't interested in me-would it be appealing for me to say hi, and have some 2 minute conversation with him-even though he thinks I'm disgusting? Of course not. Why do I have to be "lady-like" towards some guy that I'm not interested in, heck guys certainly don't return the 2 minute conversation back to a girl if he's not interested, why should I be obligated to? Just because I'm a girl? Unfair, I can be mean and nasty too.

 

Who says you have to stand there and have a 2 minute conversation?

 

Just say "Hi" and then, "it was nice to see you" and then walk away if he wants to have a conversation.

  • Like 1
GravityMan Established Member

GravityMan

Posted
Posted

Lipitor, have you at least told him that you're not interested in him and don't want his company? You may need to be more direct and clear.

 

While it's true that some guys are overly persistent, dense and/or poor at reading social cues, your post comes across to me as: "who the f*ck does this lowlife loser think he is, talking to the likes of me."

 

Provided the guy has enough sense to intuit whether the woman is open to conversation or prefers to be left alone, there is nothing wrong with him taking a minute or so to strike up idle small talk to help pass the time. If you're busy then just give a polite hello and then keep it moving.

MGX Established Member

MGX

Posted
Posted
This annoys me. I'm not interested in this guy, yet he still continues to greet me as if he still wants to me by "friend." And if I give him the cold shoulder, he calls me out.

 

Maybe he's just being friendly despite you not being interested in him.

 

You guys don't have to be enemies, if one person isn't interested in the other.:laugh:

  • Like 2
pteromom Established Member

pteromom

Posted
Posted
It just seems like its a "double-standard." If it was the other way around, for example, there's a guy that I like and he isn't interested in me-would it be appealing for me to say hi, and have some 2 minute conversation with him-even though he thinks I'm disgusting? Of course not. Why do I have to be "lady-like" towards some guy that I'm not interested in, heck guys certainly don't return the 2 minute conversation back to a girl if he's not interested, why should I be obligated to? Just because I'm a girl? Unfair, I can be mean and nasty too.

 

It doesn't have to be a 2 minute conversation, and you lose nothing by being cordial to him. Just because you aren't interested in dating him doesn't mean you can't be friendly.

 

If he actually asks you out or says something that crosses the line, it's ok to say "I don't think of you in a romantic way." or something. You don't have to be mean though.

 

Disgusting people need friends too.

  • Like 3
gaius Established Member

gaius

Posted
Posted
It just seems like its a "double-standard." If it was the other way around, for example, there's a guy that I like and he isn't interested in me-would it be appealing for me to say hi, and have some 2 minute conversation with him-even though he thinks I'm disgusting? Of course not. Why do I have to be "lady-like" towards some guy that I'm not interested in, heck guys certainly don't return the 2 minute conversation back to a girl if he's not interested, why should I be obligated to? Just because I'm a girl? Unfair, I can be mean and nasty too.

You don't have to if you don't want to. But be aware some guys can find a girl who's a total cold fish intriguing and a challenge, because you almost never run across a woman who won't even say hi to you. If you want to get rid of him it might be better just to be polite but totally aloof.

carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted
Why do guys think they can still talk to a girl that's NOT interested?

 

While successful men who know how to charm and seduce a woman will be more likely to get a yes to their 'talk', all men, both those who are pretty and charming and those who are not, are bred and socialized to endure pain and rejection and remain steadfast in their zeal to win and overcome obstacles, whether it be in business, politics, beating other men, war or romancing women. It simply doesn't compute for them to 'give up' when a woman indicates she's not interested, especially if it's not communicated clearly and in unambiguous terms. If there's even the smallest of openings, he'll work that. It's what men do. Those who don't have their genes die with them.

  • Like 1
Dork Vader Established Member

Dork Vader

Posted
Posted
It just seems like its a "double-standard." If it was the other way around, for example, there's a guy that I like and he isn't interested in me-would it be appealing for me to say hi, and have some 2 minute conversation with him-even though he thinks I'm disgusting? Of course not. Why do I have to be "lady-like" towards some guy that I'm not interested in, heck guys certainly don't return the 2 minute conversation back to a girl if he's not interested, why should I be obligated to? Just because I'm a girl? Unfair, I can be mean and nasty too.

 

 

 

Go for it be mean and nasty to him. Tell him to get lost that you find him disgusting. I think you'd be doing this man a great favor.

  • Like 2
Ninjainpajamas Established Member

Ninjainpajamas

Posted
Posted

Stop being passive about it, tell him straight-forward that you're not interested in dating him or being his friend.

 

I understand that it can be annoying to get persistent interest from guys you feel you are giving the time of day to, but a lot of women do that then eventually break down and actually date the guy...that's why guys continue to pursue you because some women can change day to day in their opinions.

 

So just tell him why you're ignoring him and giving him the cold shoulder, if you don't communicate you shouldn't feel like someone else should be responsible for interpreting your behavior...of course like most people you're too much of a pussy cat to be straight up so you play these little games, unless you've told him already and he doesn't stop, but then just do your best to avoid him entirely...he'll eventually get the message you're not interested in talking to him.

  • Like 3
MGX Established Member

MGX

Posted
Posted

"How dare some toad that I'm not attracted to find me attractive! The nerve!"

  • Like 3
joystickd Established Member

joystickd

Posted
Posted

I tell my sisters if you are interested make it clear. Sometimes the way men and women communicate things are so different that men can ooverlook cues that a woman is not interested or misread signal of friendliness as interest. It's not that they are being persistent sometimes it that a woman has not made her disinterest clear.

  • Like 1
2.50 a gallon Established Member

2.50 a gallon

Posted
Posted

Women have been known to change their minds.

For me at age 27, it was love at first sight, a young Sophia Loren look alike who was working at the local sporting goods store. She nicely rejected me when I asked her out the first time. However, I would not give up. Over the next 10 to 12 weeks, when ever she was at the register, I always gave it another shot. Fleetwood Mac tickets were hard to come by, I had a pair, she said no thank you. She flat told me she was not in the slightest attracted to me. I was too short, too poor (she was dating 2 guys, one a business man, the other an up and coming son on of local politician), too old, and too white (she was hispanic). She turned me down a handful of times. Then one day while buying some night crawlers I asked her if she would like to go fishing with me the next day. Shock of shocks, she said yes. as it was something she had always wanted to try. On the way to the river the next morning she reminded me several times, that we would never be BF and GF, that this was a one shot deal. I must have changed her mind, as the next night she was knocking on my door with a pizza in her hand. The two boy friends were dead meat, we went on to get engaged and almost married. One never knows.

  • Like 4
RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

Posted
Posted

why? pride, mostly. Ego. And other men who tell them to keep trying just to see if he can.

 

 

It's not love, that's for sure. Don't ever mistake it for that.

  • Like 1
Aslanbek Established Member

Aslanbek

Posted
Posted
It just seems like its a "double-standard." If it was the other way around, for example, there's a guy that I like and he isn't interested in me-would it be appealing for me to say hi, and have some 2 minute conversation with him-even though he thinks I'm disgusting? Of course not. Why do I have to be "lady-like" towards some guy that I'm not interested in, heck guys certainly don't return the 2 minute conversation back to a girl if he's not interested, why should I be obligated to? Just because I'm a girl? Unfair, I can be mean and nasty too.

 

 

Don't worry.........you've got us convinced.

  • 2 weeks later...
Juha Established Member

Juha

Posted
Posted (edited)

WOW! You my dear need to grow up and learn how to treat people.

 

Being bitter and following how others treat people will get you no where in life.

 

It really does not take much to be "nice" to people even if you are not interested in them romantically.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
littleplanet Established Member

littleplanet

Posted
Posted

I have friendly conversations with women I don't know all the time. Of all ages. The operative factor?

No agenda.

And they seem to know that.

 

The difference is (was) when there is an agenda.

Then the rules of engagement apply.

Chemistry, and all that.

Personality, character, friendly response.

 

Getting hit on can trigger highly volatile buttons.

Instant like.....or instant dislike.

We all own our personal "off" buttons.

 

Sort of like with overzealous and untrained dogs.....

"Get off!

Git down!

Get back!

Get away....."

That's what we tell 'em, every single day.

 

But it's all a learning curve. When I was young and single I used to talk to pretty things all the time. Maybe they responded to the lack of aggression, I dunno....

It's all in the style. The message.

I never treated it like a game, or like a pony with a one-trick mind.

Acting like a pre-programmed computer app.

 

Women like to choose, too. And follow their own natural responses.

Instead of just "appearing" in visual display to rev up the hormones of the male animal. Other languages say a lot. It's all about learning how that alphabet works.

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