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To bang? Or not to bang? That is the question...

Hopeful30

By Hopeful30
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Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

Posted
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Recently I met a great guy, and I'm into him. I'm attracted to him, we share similar outlooks on life ladida and all those details.

 

I'm not looking for a relationship, but I'm incredibly attracted to him. I want to sleep with him. My dilemma is here. He likes me more than just for sex. I fear that if I sleep with him, I might end up hurting him far more because what I want from him is carnal, and what he wants from me is a bit more than that.

 

We haven't slept together yet, and I'm afraid that if we do, he might latch on and hope for more and i'll just end up "breaking his heart" when really all I wanted was sex.

 

How do I approach this situation without hurting him? Should I voice that I just want to bang him? (kills the mood though) Or should I just go through with it and express my intentions only if things start to get complicated?

 

Wish I could just go ahead and do it, unfortunately I'm far too sympathetic and refrain from doing what I want because I don't want to hurt others. *sigh* Sucks being one of the good guys :p

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2sunny Established Member

2sunny

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I vote yes!

 

He's a big boy... He can handle whatever you decide for the long run.

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jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

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Just tell him and sleep with him, he might get as hurt as you think.

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Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

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I vote yes!

 

He's a big boy... He can handle whatever you decide for the long run.

 

Such great advice in such few words. You're absolutely right. I'm not obligated to watch out for anyone's feelings. As long as I'm honest when the time is right, I suppose there is nothing else I should do.

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mirage12 Established Member

mirage12

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I don't think that's what 2Sunny was saying...sure you're not responsible for anyone's feelings but you're asking the question on here because you already know that it's going to hurt his.

 

Be up front with your intentions if you're absolutely sure that's all you want out of it - that's the best way to hurt him as least as possible.

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carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
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How do I approach this situation without hurting him? Should I voice that I just want to bang him? (kills the mood though) Or should I just go through with it and express my intentions only if things start to get complicated?

 

Honesty is the best policy, IMO. If you can have sex, you can talk about sex, and the attendant emotional perspectives surrounding it. Communicate, then fornicate. Enjoy!

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Relevant clip.

 

Not all men can detach sex and emotions.

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CrystalCastles Established Member

CrystalCastles

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I think you shouldn't. I think you should tell him (before you have sex). Yeah, it might be a mood killer. Boo hoo.

 

There are plenty of dudes out there who want an easy lay. I'm sure you can find one...or a few. They're really a dime a dozen. Hurting the good dudes is just sad. Hence why so many of them are all jaded and on LS.

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jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

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There are plenty of dudes out there who want an easy lay. I'm sure you can find one...or a few. They're really a dime a dozen.

 

I can't see any guy turning down sex.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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I can't see any guy turning down sex.

 

It's not about turning down sex. It's having with a girl when you want more and she doesn't.

 

I certainly would not have sex with a girl who wanted a relationship and I just wanted a quick lay.

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TouchedByViolet Established Member

TouchedByViolet

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You should tell him you are only looking for sex and not a serious relationship. Most likely he will still have sex with you and then he is responsible for his feelings.

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MGX Established Member

MGX

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Please tell him your intentions and let him know that you just want sex and not a relationship. So long as he understands the nature of this relationship, it should be okay. He'll either oblige you OR look for a relationship elsewhere.

 

But let him know what you are after.

Dork Vader Established Member

Dork Vader

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Not going to lie.. This threads title got that rickey martin song stuck in my head..

 

 

She bangs she bangs... Oo baby she moves...

 

 

Sorry could not resist.. Just be honest with the dude he might be cool with it.

  • Like 1
kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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OP be honest...or else you cant whine the next time some guy pumps and dumps you.

I can't see any guy turning down sex.

Not every guy is like you.

I vote yes!

 

He's a big boy... He can handle whatever you decide for the long run.

Imagine the sh!!tshow that would result if the genders were swapped in this situation.

  • Like 8
Keenly Established Member

Keenly

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I vote yes!

 

He's a big boy... He can handle whatever you decide for the long run.

 

Would the advise be the same if this was an inverted situation... I doubt the advice would be the same.

 

 

Just imagine.....

I really like this chick. I'm not really into the idea of a relationship but she likes me. I can tell she wants more from me but I only want to bang her. Should I do it?

  • Like 10
jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

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OP be honest...or else you cant whine the next time some guy pumps and dumps you.

Not every guy is like you.

Imagine the sh!!tshow that would result if the genders were swapped in this situation.

 

Would you turn her down? I'm not jabbing you, I'm just asking.

gaius Established Member

gaius

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He sounds like he could use a heartbreak or two to toughen him up.

SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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Don't do it, It sounds like you know he'll get hurt. You can easily find a man to have unattached sex with.

RonaldS Established Member

RonaldS

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Just bang him. Who cares?

 

If he gets hurt, it will be because he invested way too much way too quickly and set himself up for a fall. He needs to learn not to do that.

  • Like 1
kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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Would you turn her down? I'm not jabbing you, I'm just asking.

Ive learned from my past not to sleep with women I want something serious with if they only want me for sex. The result isnt good.

 

And yes, Ive turned down sex before.

OwMyEyeball Established Member

OwMyEyeball

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Seems pretty straightforward.

 

If you're up front it may "kill the mood" because his passions will wilt. He's not a "just for sex" kind of guy. Or maybe he can lean that way. Only one way to find out.

 

Or you lead him on with false pretense to get what you want at the expense of his suffering - however mild or severe that turns out to be. You're the best judge of how badly he'll take it.

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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Guys do it all the time. So should you.

 

Seriously. No sarcasm intended.

Moonborn Established Member

Moonborn

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I can't see any guy turning down sex.

 

I am a straight guy and I am not interested in sex just for sex's sake. I tried it, and it's not for me. So there you go. Not everybody is the same.

 

Guys do it all the time. So should you.

 

Seriously. No sarcasm intended.

 

People rob and kill other people all the time. I guess it's time for me to go to the local bank with a gun and get some cash?

 

I think telling him upfront what you want is an excellent advice. I am pretty sure you can make up for the "turnoff" if he is interested in having sex with you (why would that be a turnoff anyway? you are basically telling him point blank that you want to tear his pants off and jump him :p ).

  • Like 1
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Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

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Guys do it all the time. So should you.

 

lol that's not a very good reason why to do it lol.. just cuz guys do? so what?

Miss Awesome Member

Miss Awesome

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Should I voice that I just want to bang him? (kills the mood though) Or should I just go through with it and express my intentions only if things start to get complicated?

 

Of course it will kill the mood if, when you two are getting hot and heavy, you say, "by the way, I just want to bang you." :)

 

Just tell him, at some point before you two have sex, that you're not interested in anything serious. That way he can make an informed decision. You may very well get him in the sack a few times before he realizes he's not content with the situation!

 

It's really not fair to him if you keep your intentions to yourself unless things get complicated. It'd be one thing if you were oblivious to his feelings/intentions toward you, but you're not. Honesty is best here.

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