Guest123 Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 Okay, here's what I'm wondering...is phone sex cheating? I have a great bf. We both have hectic schedules, and on the nites we are together, we fall asleep by 9:30 pm. We don't have sex too often anymore...but that's okay with me, I know we're both going through busy times career-wise. The other nite I was with the girls...we saw a commercial for a chat line on TV. We called for fun, and it sorta turned me on! Anyway, months later I was home alone and I called it, and I had phone sex with somebody! I don't know this person...I dont know their name or anything, and I am not going to meet anyone. Have I cheated? Personally, I think my bf might laugh if he found out...I can rarely get myself to say anything raunchy...but it was so easy. I havent called again, but isnt it sorta the same thing as watching porn? Or would my guy be pissed?
glitter_bug Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 in my book, it IS a form of cheating. I think it is different to porn because you are actually interacting with the person and speaking to them. Seems much worse than just looking at a pic/video of someone and imagining them. I think your bf would definately be pissed at you - I would be if i was him. I might be a bit curious to hear what kind of things those ppl say, and call just to see. But I wouldn't advise calling again if you really value your relationship
Devildog Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 Good rule of thumb, if the word sex is involved, consider it cheating. Phone sex, cyber sex, oral sex, anal sex, plain old sex. Yes, all cheating. Irregardless of what your definition of "is" is.
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 Yes, it's cheating. Why don't you try phone sex with your guy?
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 This is what you want to consider: Originally posted by Guest123 ... would my guy be pissed? Only your guy can answer that. You can spark up a conversation about it, and see if he considers it cheating and how he feels about it.
sweetpea01 Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 Isnt this sort of like a phone sex hotline? Hmm..I'm not sure how I would feel if my bf called. I guess I would hate that it was a real person, but maybe it's all fantasy? SP
Podna Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog Irregardless of what your definition of "is" is. You're too smart to use the word irregardless DD, it's not a word.
katie79 Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 It's wrong. But it certainly is NOT CHEATING!
sweetpea01 Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 Originally posted by katie79 It's wrong. But it certainly is NOT CHEATING! I have to agree with you on this one.... SP
iceisles Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 As much as I enjoy it (with friends), I have always considered it cheating and would never do it while I was dating someone.
Moose Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 It IS cheating, and here's why:...I can rarely get myself to say anything raunchy...but it was so easy.If this is soooo hard for you to do between you and your boyfriend, yet you're able to do so over the phone with a perfect stranger, you're sharing that part of yourself with someone other than your SO. God says that even thoughts of being with someone else, (outside of a marriage that is), is cheating.
tanbark813 Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 Would it bother you if he had phone sex with some other girl?
katie79 Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 maybe he has. how would she know?? Phone sex with someone who isn't you SO, is wrong...totally wrong. Certainly gives a "red flag" to the SO, if they ever found out. It's not moral to the relationship, plus in some cases, it shows disrespect towards your partner and the potential to become a "cheat" one day. But the bottom line is, it's not cheating. There wasn't even "inappropriate touching" involved, let along sex or physical intimacy of any sort. And I 'm not saying this shouldn't bother someone, it's grounds for breaking up since it displays lack of respect and questionable trust in the future. As long as she realizes her mistake and re-evaluates the relationship, things may be ok
Podna Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 Originally posted by Guest123 I havent called again, but isnt it sorta the same thing as watching porn? Or would my guy be pissed? Personally, I would be pissed. Do I think it is technically cheating? NO. It’s closer to a kind of interactive porn I think. Originally posted by Moose God says that even thoughts of being with someone else, (outside of a marriage that is), is cheating. By your interpretation, as far God is concerned, almost everyone who has masturbated to porn is guilty of cheating.
Moose Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 But the bottom line is, it's not cheating.This is only your opinion. The original poster will have to decide for themselves. It is cheating though, you seem to think that as long as there's no physical contact, then it's not cheating, this isn't true. It's a matter of the heart.
Moose Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 Originally posted by Podna By your interpretation, as far God is concerned, almost everyone who has masturbated to porn is guilty of cheating. Yes, but like you said, it's my interpretation, believe what you like.
GirlDown Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 everyone has different views on what cheating is. there is no right or wrong answer because it is a matter of opinion. you might be with someone who doesn't consider kissing as cheating, because it's not sex. someone else might say sex is not cheating, because it is not love, and so on and so on.... the fact of the matter is, if it's something you feel you need to hide from him, it more than likely would be seen as cheating by your boyfriend. if it is something you feel that guilty about to the point that you are afraid to tell him, then even to you it's cheating. i guess the only way to find out would be to ask him.
sjs61 Posted February 26, 2005 Posted February 26, 2005 I have been having phone sex while I'm separated but all I do is fake the call letting the guy think I am doing something when in fact I am not. Well, maybe twice I did go overboard. So, is this cheating? Note: My Hubby cheated on me before while we were supposedly dating and I cheated while we were living together. Also, he left me hanging and I found out he had a new gf. Basically, it was out of spite. For me, the phone sex is dumb but it gets me through of forgetting my husband which eventually will turn into a divorce. Any advice, I don't mind. Give it to me straight and don't hold back your thoughts. I know it's cheating with God but not my husband since we both are capable of doing it the cheating and plus he knew about my affairs and didn't believe me I did them. Besides, he's been wanting a 3some so I was searching for an extra partner so I don't feel it was cheating and as for the phone sex I feel the same way if he were to come back but I know he will not cuz during the separation he came over requesting for an escort and ready for a 3some. I know horrible story but its true...
westernxer Posted February 26, 2005 Posted February 26, 2005 It's not cheating if you're paying by the minute. Your bill at month's end will prove it.
Hund1976 Posted February 27, 2005 Posted February 27, 2005 It's not cheating if you're paying by the minute. Your bill at month's end will prove it.I would say this makes a big difference. It would be a lot worse if it is just some random girl, because then even if it never happens they could possibly meet up and hook up. Just like at the strip club a guy can see lots of girls, but they aren't going to go home with him, but at a regular bar that's a possibility.
Moose Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 I know it's cheating with God but not my husbandYou don't seem too concerned with this. Which is the lesser evil to you? The rest of your post seems to be you placing blame on your husband and using this information as an out so you can justify what you've been doing, or going to do. You know what's right and what's wrong. I'm pushing more towards you thinking this over and doing the right thing, not building up guilt within so you can have peace and sleep at night.
Moose Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer It's not cheating if you're paying by the minute. Your bill at month's end will prove it. Oh, so, if I decide to have an affair, as long as I give my mistress a few bucks here and there, I'm not cheating. Or, does she have to be a complete stranger?
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