Stumble Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I broke up with my bf, and he also agrees that it is for the best. (reasons are posted on my other thread, well half of it) I tried to end it In a good term which it was. But there were lots of tears and crying from my end. Then the following week he told me he needed to get away and he went to visit his ex in a different county. He told me he needed to get away, staying in his house just makes him feel down. I was feeling funny about him going to see his ex even though I know some people need to try and move on and go do whatever they need to do to get through a break up. Everyone deals with it different way I suppose. And since I ended it with him he has the right to do whatever he wants. But I just thought he could go and visit a friend but NOT his ex. He said he has remained friend with his ex, and I know that while we were dating he was not in touch with her. I'm sure about this. He said they remained friends after they broken up and before we dated he used to go visit her for some weekends even though they were not In a relationship. I'm trying to be understand and an adult about it but Am I wrong to get annoyed over this?
Omei Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 You're not wrong to be annoyed as feelings are still there and when people go through breakups then contact ex right after its clear why hes going to use her to fill the hole of rejection you left him with. But you have to keep your lips zipped you let him go what he does now has nothing to do with you nor have you the right to say anything. So it just ends like that.
Author Stumble Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 I am trying to keep my lips sealed trust me and it is very difficult.
ktya Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 His ex is the best person for him to be with right now. It is a girl who knows him really well. If he can go and stay with her for a while regardless of the nature of their relationship she knows the type of soothing he needs. Since you did the breaking up and obviously closed the door on getting back together it doesnt matter what he does. My ex broke up with me and had all sorts of opinions on who i should date and whether i should date. My ex fiancee had similar opinions, thought i should stay single and go to counselling while she ripped through 12 guys in a year. Dont be that girl. You let him go so either take him back or let him go.
Moonborn Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I understand your feelings, but I think that after you broke up with him you don't really get a say in who he goes or doesn't go to visit. It is probably not the most sensitive course of action for him to take, but it's his choice. I also think it would be for the best, for both of you, if you stayed no contact for a while. It will lead to a fight eventually if you two keep talking when this kind of feelings is still floating around. 1
Omei Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 You need to be no contact if you had broken up and gone straight NC you wouldnt know about this trip, you won't know the upcoming things that you wish not to know also. Go NC Ex's cant be friends off the hop.
Author Stumble Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 Thanks guy, I will continue to keep my mouth shut and deal with it
Author Stumble Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 Okay so I don't have a say in what he can do and can't do but isn't it insensitive of him to go and see his ex? He went to see 2 different exes different times since we broke up
preraph Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 No. Every guy I've ever known after a breakup immediately went out with some other woman. It's healthier than hanging onto it and obsessing about it. Guys who do that tend to get over it faster. You need to stop updating each other and go NC or it will stay messy. 1
mrs rubble Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 Okay so I don't have a say in what he can do and can't do but isn't it insensitive of him to go and see his ex? He went to see 2 different exes different times since we broke up It's really none of your business who he sees, you dumped him, you hurt him and now it sounds like your stalking him. Stop worrying about where he is and who he's with and start living your own life that you removed him from.
Omei Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 Okay so I don't have a say in what he can do and can't do but isn't it insensitive of him to go and see his ex? He went to see 2 different exes different times since we broke up You left him He is no longer required to care about you, your wants or your feelings.
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