lexjd Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 We first started dating in Jan 2014 and we soon were an item everything was perfect. Troubles started the following month when I discovered he had used Omegle to contact another girl who lived in a different county, I was shocked, he spoke to her over the period of two weeks including on Valentines Day & our anniversary & told her she was everything he would tell me I was and even told her he would fly out to meet her. When I confronted him he said he had a mental issue & an online addiction to talking to girls & needed help as a way to get me back. He said after his last relationship he didnt have any 'game' and all his friends were sleeping with multiple girls so he did it to keep up and now couldnt help going on online chat rooms to speak to girls. I took him back however later on he confessed that was a lie and simply did it for 'doing its sake' and had no problem at all and had no problem getting girls. He would constantly tell me he found it hard to get with and have sex with girls and told me he'd only slept with four which he later confessed was actually '7 or 8' then 8 then eventually 12. The breaking point came was when I discovered a females number saved in his phone under a males name I recognised from the whatsapp photo who she was, as he initially told me that they met out and used to speak but no longer did; I didnt understand why he had hid it I told him he could speak to female friends when I contacted her she told me the same story about how they met however it turned out that whilst we were dating he slept with her and they worked together and he had got her to lie on his behalf if I were to ever contact her which she did but she later confessed to what had happened. After I found it he broke up with me & used having no trust as a reasoning he suddenly 'Didnt want it anymore' 'Didnt want a girlfriend' and all of a sudden 'needed himself' 'wanted his friends' 'never wants to see me again' how we 'didnt work' had a 'change of heart' and was completely over me. When we were together he never wanted to see his friends or socialise with other people and now he's out all the time with the same people he didnt want to see when we were together. I feel as though if I didnt find the number we'd still be together and I kill myself over it I wish that I had just ignored it sometimes I just dont see how someone could have such a quick change of heart, we had so many plans of a future together and he's just let it all go as if it hasnt happened.in the first place When we last spoke he said he didnt break up with me because of being caught out but because there was no trust but he had gone behind my back before so I had little reason to trust him and he made no effort to regain trust else he would have deleted her number instead of hiding it? He said he'd stop picking up my calls but he does. He said he'd blocked my number but he hasnt. He replies to my texts. I just dont know what to do I still want him back desperately and I dont know why I do, I was in a four year relationship myself before meeting him and I got over that in a heart beat but it feels like the 7 months I was in this relationship has been an eternity and I have hit a deep depression as a cause of it because I just cant figure out the situation.
hoping2heal Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Sounds like the experience has messed with your head and thrown you off balance. I think the worst thing you could do for yourself is go running back to him. Texting him, calling him, contacting him at all. It's going to benefit you none. You need to cut this toxic person out of your life because he is now making you sick - could you ever envision yourself chasing after a man who offers you truly, no hope for the future? One who does to you what this man has? Yet, here you are. You're on a slippery slope with this one.
me85 Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 You don't really want him back. Your ego is just throwing a temper tantrum right now. Don't give in to your ego. It's a 4 year old in the grocery store demanding that you give it want it wants but you can't!
Author lexjd Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 It think you're right it is my ego, Its just a horrible feeling that really I was with someone for months who didnt care about me like it was all a sick game
hoping2heal Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 It think you're right it is my ego, Its just a horrible feeling that really I was with someone for months who didnt care about me like it was all a sick game Yep! Getting back with him would lead to nothing but more horrible feelings. This guy is like this for reasons that have nothing to do with you. It's hard to not take it personally, but it really isn't a reflection of your worth.
me85 Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 It think you're right it is my ego, Its just a horrible feeling that really I was with someone for months who didnt care about me like it was all a sick game It is a horrible feeling, for sure. BUT at least it was months wasted and not years. You will rise above all this; you'll be better and stronger than ever before. I promise. Try your best to stay positive and focus on the most important person in your life, yourself. Best wishes, J
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