forstrrow9 Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I'm looking for advice and guidance here, this situation is concerning me a lot. I live in Houston, TX with my husband. I've been with my husband since we met in 2004, aged 26, engaged in September 2007, married in April 2011. You can probably work out how old I am from this. We have no kids, but are aunt and uncle to my sister's kids. But in the past 5 or so weeks, his behavior's become a little bit suspicious. He spent about $300 on champagne, pinot grigio and new high-end suits; was suspended from work for being drunk and bringing said bottle of champagne into work, which resulted in me having to pick him up, evidence of hotel stays, claiming he was on a business trip, but he doesn't have to or need to travel for his job, and receipts for crop tops worth $19.99, lingerie from Victoriassecret.com, and bikinis from wickedweasel.com [none of these in my size] but no actual crop tops, lingerie or bikinis were physically in our house, only the receipts... but who is the other woman, if there's one? Why else would a man buy crop tops/halfshirts/bikinis? To top it off, he also spent $500 in one weekend, in one go, on Saturday afternoon, on Lays, Doritos, donuts and has since become very much into eating them, even having Doritos, donuts and pinot grigio for breakfast some days, he gets annoyed if i try to stop him! Pinot grigio for breakfast?? You can't make it up!! Even worse, I'm hearing rumors the other woman he's cheating on me with is a local actress who's been on dramas like Grey's Anatomy, Breaking Bad etc. - we watched those shows. And this is from our next-door neighbors, a Canadian couple, Bonnie and John [not their real names], we know well, they're snowbirds, as you call them. Now I've found evidence of him looking to buy a brand-new 2014 Chevrolet Impala Limited, we already own 2 cars, a 1995 Honda Accord [present from my mother] and a 2011 Dodge Avenger SXT. Asking him outright about his behavior didn't get very far; I tried having "the conversation" but he went and drunk 2 bottles of champagne and ate 4 packets of Lay's potato chips, and was very drunk. He was so drunk he walked out into the street, collapsed, and the local kids were poking his bum! He's usually a nice guy, kind, caring, not abusive, so I really cannot understand his behavior. Our relationship's been rock-solid until now; life has been pretty much OK, but why else could he be doing this? He's certainly not on drugs or any medication, but the excessive drinking of champagne, could that be a factor? There doesn't seem to be any medical reason for it, so could there be evidence of him having an affair? I'd appreciate any guidance you have on this. Where is my marriage headed, based on this info?
CarrieT Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Where is my marriage headed, based on this info? To divorce court, if it were me. You have a TON of evidence of things that shouldn't be happening - the question will be: What are you going to do with the information? Personally, I would be packing and calling a lawyer. 3
Raena Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 It honestly sounds like he's gone off the deep end into a mania... There could be something medically wrong... brain tumor or something else that could cause him to change his personality so drastically. What was he like before all this began? Has it been a drastic change over a short period of time? If it isn't medical, then he's just seriously losing it and you need to high tail it out of there to protect yourself. 4
Author forstrrow9 Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 We've recently come into money, we were middle class, but now we're getting a bit more of an income, so I suspect he's probably splurging money like there's no tomorrow. Doesn't seem medical, he doesn't show any psychotic signs... so I guess, it looks more like less of a psychological issue and maybe food addiction? How do you explain the pinot grigio for breakfast issue??
loveboid Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Has he started to taking any medication recently? Some sedatives are in the same class as ethanol, and he if drinks alcohol with them their effects stack. Alcohol in a pill they're called. A side effect is lack of inhibition.
BetrayedH Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 We've recently come into money, we were middle class, but now we're getting a bit more of an income, so I suspect he's probably splurging money like there's no tomorrow. Doesn't seem medical, he doesn't show any psychotic signs... so I guess, it looks more like less of a psychological issue and maybe food addiction? How do you explain the pinot grigio for breakfast issue?? Yes, he's having an affair. I think you should look further into bi-polar disorder. It explains the pinot grigio for breakfast. Or now that he has money, he might just be enjoying wine, champagne, women, and chips. 4
2sunny Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 Yes he's being a jerk and it's cause for concern. Alcohol is a drug. Tell him if he doesn't stop drinking you will divorce him. Then follow through. It seems he is seeing another woman - start searching for more evidence. Have you checked his phone and email accts? He's not acting married - so if he's unwilling to change back to a decent human being - divorce him.
mrs rubble Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 Has there been any hiding of his phone, emails etc. The lingerie could be for himself, if his behaviour is suddenly so bizarre maybe he's cross-dressing too!
SamSam68 Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 Well, the hotel stays and "business" trips are what got me thinking. I'd say yes, with certainty your H is messing around. Good luck to you. Feeling your pain.
Author forstrrow9 Posted August 5, 2014 Author Posted August 5, 2014 I'm on public wi-fi, on a business trip, so haven't been able to get back to H, yet, but he was normal before this. We won the money from a local radio station contest - it's added a bit more to our income, that's how we got it. Yet, I'm not so sure if it's an affair or not because it's so difficult to tell.
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