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Posted (edited)

okay, so I've been dating this girl for a month and its been real nice. I really enjoy hearing from her and I enjoy hanging out with her but the physical side; not good!! . The problems lies in her kissing. I love kissing. To me its very important. When it flows - it feels great. It shows two people have passion for one another. With her, I can't stand kissing her. Not to go into details, but, I'm not a fan of someone grabbing the back of my head and then jamming her tongue down my throat. She starts off way too fast for my taste. Some guys may like it, not me.

 

Yesterday, I tried telling her when we make-out I'm not a fan of how she starts off so fast. She then accused me of not finding her attractive. So my dilemma is: I found a girl I enjoy spending time with but when I comes to the bedroom, I am not to excited. Also, when we sleep she gets mad when I'm not touching her. She likes to wrap her whole body on me. I just can't sleep like that. Has anyone experienced any of what I'm going through? Part of me feels bad because I really like her but I also know how important the physical side is to a relationship. And its only been one month. So we still have a lot to learn about each other. Ideas?

Edited by Leroy82
Posted

How is the sex? Maybe she is kissing like that because she doesn't think there is enough passion?

Posted

You're dating a little girl. A woman would have been open to correct her kissing so you enjoy it better and a woman would understand that cuddling is ok but then some people can't sleep arms and legs wrapped around them.

 

She is too immature for a relationship.

  • Author
Posted
How is the sex? Maybe she is kissing like that because she doesn't think there is enough passion?

 

Its okay, not great. You may be correct. But, its not good for me because she moves way too fast for my taste. Either you have passion and chemistry or you don't. I enjoy taking my time in the moment and I love fourplay. She's seems to be the opposite.

Posted
Its okay, not great. You may be correct. But, its not good for me because she moves way too fast for my taste. Either you have passion and chemistry or you don't. I enjoy taking my time in the moment and I love fourplay. She's seems to be the opposite.

In my experience, this can take a little while for someone to get to if they hadn't been getting laid that much, ie she might calm down.

 

However, if she doesn't like oral all that much (example of foreplay) she may not have the sexual experience or interest that you are looking for.

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Posted
How is the sex? Maybe she is kissing like that because she doesn't think there is enough passion?

 

 

That part she is really good at. She's done it once. It was great. With me its all about kissing. Like I said before "kissing is very important to me". Maybe I'm putting too much into it and I think it would be stupid to breakup with her over this. I'm here for advice or if someone else has experience this. Right now, I just don't like kissing her. And it kills the mood.

Posted

Some times you can teach somebody to be a better kisser. Set a romantic mood. when she shoves her tongue into your mouth, pull back & sensually kiss her face saying that you want to take your time & go slow. Then retain control & kiss her the way you prefer. When she speeds up again, go back to the soft kisses & whisper. . . ssshhhhh, no, let me . . . .

 

As for the sleeping together . . some people like to cuddle & be wrapped around each other all night. Others find that smothering. You have to talk about it & come to a compromise. Perhaps full on cuddle immediately after gradually drifting apart as sleep comes.

  • Like 1
Posted

Must admit I compromised on kissing with my last guy. He was a bit fast too, a bit aggressive. But he was fantastic with oral so I just put up and shut up :laugh:

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Posted
Must admit I compromised on kissing with my last guy. He was a bit fast too, a bit aggressive. But he was fantastic with oral so I just put up and shut up :laugh:

 

Ha! That's where I'm at "fast and aggressive". Aggressive is the word I was looking for.

Posted

So, when you tried to explain to her about the kissing she got mad at you put the blame on you. Also when you tried to explain you need a little space to sleep she gets mad again.

 

You seem to be more worried about her sexual talent then her closed off and bad temper.

  • Like 1
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Posted (edited)
So, when you tried to explain to her about the kissing she got mad at you put the blame on you. Also when you tried to explain you need a little space to sleep she gets mad again.

 

You seem to be more worried about her sexual talent then her closed off and bad temper.

 

Not true at all. Sorry, if you are getting that from me. I guess I'm not explaining myself better. I am willing to hold off on the sexual stuff so we can get to know each other better. That's how much I like being with her. But, I'm not sure we can now after we have had sex already.

 

You are right. I would like to be able to talk to her and have her be open to me without one of us getting sad. I never said she had a bad temper. She's never raised her voice to me. So I don't know how you got that. She got very sad when I told her this. She wouldn't speak to me.

Edited by Leroy82
Posted

Read below. Is this the behavior of a mature woman? or the behavior of a spoiled little girl. She got mad, she refuses to talk to you, she turns around and accuses you of not finding her attractive to make you feel guilty instead of addressing the subject.

 

You actually think you can have a relationship with someone like this?

 

 

She got very sad when I told her this. She wouldn't speak to me.

 

Yesterday, I tried telling her when we make-out I'm not a fan of how she starts off so fast. She then accused me of not finding her attractive.

 

 

Also, when we sleep she gets mad when I'm not touching her.
Posted

Ehhhh...sorry dude. These things would be dealbreakers for me. I understand where you're coming from.

 

It's been a month, she's had time to get more comfortable with you so I don't think the physical stuff will get better. That's who and how she is. Question is, can you accept it?

 

You should sit down and have a heart to heart with her. Yes, she'll be offended, just keep reassuring her that you enjoy being with her but want to kiss slowly not fast because it isn't romantic to you when you kiss fast.

 

As far as when sleeping, sweetly say, "Baby, I'm really not comfortable and can't sleep with you wrapped around me. I get really hot."

  • Like 1
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Posted

Yea, maybe we just aren't sexually compatible. As for you Geata. You are so right but I'm not painting a good picture of her. Looking back, I could be more sincere with the way I talk to her.

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