Ordinaryday Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I have not had much success with dating, the women played all sorts of mind games and constantly had me jumping through hoops for them, and some outright told me that they had guys hitting on them all the time so I better be good or they will just go with the next guy they have lined up. these women are in their early to mid 20s. I have spoken to a few male friends and they told me that (on average, it obviously doesnt apply TO EVERY SINGLE WOMAN IN THE WORLD so please dont get up in arms about it) women in their 20s are notorious game players and notorious for messing men around, simply because they KNOW they can have another guy like THAT so they play all sorts of games. they told me dating when you are in your 20s is HARD! A few guys have told me that it does get easier as you get older, late 30s or so onward. the reason being that as single women get older their 'dating value' decreases and they will be less inclined to play games and mess men around simply because they cant simply pull any guy they want, like they could ten years ago. is this true? on the whole does dating get easier as you get older?
Priv Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I suppose. But mostly because with experience you filter through the game playing idiots faster. For example. The moment you hear this line; and some outright told me that they had guys hitting on them all the time so I better be good or they will just go with the next guy they have lined up. You walk. 1
Priv Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 But to qualify. Being 31 I don't think I ever dated older than ummm... 26-27 I think. So still fishing in the same pool I guess I will let you know how much easier it gets when I hit 40!
Author Ordinaryday Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 I suppose. But mostly because with experience you filter through the game playing idiots faster. For example. The moment you hear this line; You walk. Amen! took my brother nine months to figure that out, he was dating a gorgeous woman (physically) who was nasty as hell and so mean to him and she constantly told him that if he didnt do everything she asked she would just go to the next guy she had lined up. it took him nine months to finally tell her to go ahead.
Priv Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Amen! took my brother nine months to figure that out, he was dating a gorgeous woman (physically) who was nasty as hell and so mean to him and she constantly told him that if he didnt do everything she asked she would just go to the next guy she had lined up. it took him nine months to finally tell her to go ahead. Always the pretty ones that get to you 2
Zippy2000 Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Its not necessary easier as the web shows it can be harder in general. Your dating pool is more limited. Im 40 and now and I ve been online dating on and off for the last 10 years. My first successful OLD was back when I was 30 and I had a lot more emails and replies but e found as I get older. I face more competition. Some women prefer young fit guys. Same with older women. Culture dictates them to go for older men but women who are on OLD face more competition from younger and more beuatiful women. I believe it gets harder.
longjohn Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 My personal experience as a man, it seems to get easier at least at this point in my life. I'm in my early 30's and I can typically spot the game playing women and a few other types I'll avoid so I don't have to waste time. Having said that I can still trip up from time to time but at least now I'll waste at most a few weeks or a month or two vs a year on those types. With a bit of experience at least it's easier to spot body language too that when younger wasn't quite as obvious. As we all get older I try to keep in shape, I stay lean, strong (for my build) and continue my education. What if I'm still single and older one day. I'd like to keep my chances of finding a nice lady as high as possible. I've found that most men my age always seem to aim for younger women whereas I go for my own age group and even a few years older. I've found more, matured, experienced and settled (no game playing) ladies this way.
Priv Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I've found that most men my age always seem to aim for younger women whereas I go for my own age group and even a few years older. I've found more, matured, experienced and settled (no game playing) ladies this way. Not dating atm but where do you find those women in their early 30s. Not that I am specifically looking but I don't see them. 20s yes, 40+ yes. But it is like women in their 30s dissappear from the face of the earth. Or maybe I am just mistaking them for a different age group. Been thinking about that for a while now... They are not; -In the gym -Going out -Shopping -At the beach -Swimming pool -Not even in the freaking supermarket I think the 30s is a place of solitude/hermitry for most women *disclaimer: I do not count mothers walking with children*
d0nnivain Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 As each of us matures we know ourselves better & we develop more confidence. It's easier to spot what's not working & what we won't tolerate in a SO. We also have an easier time expressing our own desires. On some level that makes things a bit easier. Also as we age people start to realize it's time to grow up so in some cases they stop the game playing, assuming they knew they were playing.
ByMyself01 Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I have not had much success with dating, the women played all sorts of mind games and constantly had me jumping through hoops for them, and some outright told me that they had guys hitting on them all the time so I better be good or they will just go with the next guy they have lined up. these women are in their early to mid 20s. I have spoken to a few male friends and they told me that (on average, it obviously doesnt apply TO EVERY SINGLE WOMAN IN THE WORLD so please dont get up in arms about it) women in their 20s are notorious game players and notorious for messing men around, simply because they KNOW they can have another guy like THAT so they play all sorts of games. they told me dating when you are in your 20s is HARD! A few guys have told me that it does get easier as you get older, late 30s or so onward. the reason being that as single women get older their 'dating value' decreases and they will be less inclined to play games and mess men around simply because they cant simply pull any guy they want, like they could ten years ago. is this true? on the whole does dating get easier as you get older? I guess I'm a rare of a kind then because for me, guys play games with me and I actually take them seriously. Where I'm from most guys just want a fling or to have multiple women they call friends to be in a relationship for benefits without actually being in one which is why I stopped dating and the person I am involved with, I try to hold on a little longer because he is one of the few I've met who actually wants a full-blown relationship. I don't think it's women in general, I think it's people in general who play the same games.
bene Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Not dating atm but where do you find those women in their early 30s. Not that I am specifically looking but I don't see them. 20s yes, 40+ yes. But it is like women in their 30s dissappear from the face of the earth. Or maybe I am just mistaking them for a different age group. Been thinking about that for a while now... They are not; -In the gym -Going out -Shopping -At the beach -Swimming pool -Not even in the freaking supermarket I think the 30s is a place of solitude/hermitry for most women *disclaimer: I do not count mothers walking with children* As a woman in early thirties I find it hilarious because I think we are everywhere. I find it often very difficult to guess people's age and I often consider young-ish people who don't look or act like teenagers to be in their thirties. You might indeed confuse them with a different age group. The ones that are lucky or just take good care of themselves don't look much different than in their twenties. The ones who have let themselves go could be confused for a women in her forties. 2
Eau Claire Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 It gets easier for males who stop being whiny boys and become confident men. Otherwise, probably not. 1
RonaldS Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I was married/with the same woman for the better part of 14 years. Prior to that, I never 'dated'. I was single all the way through college, and you don't 'date' in college....you meet people and hook up. If you like them and they like you, you keep hooking up. When I finalized my divorce at age 39, I went out into a world where people date, and the protocol was so foreign to me. It seemed very formal. (it's worth noting that in the few years my wife and I were separated, I hooked up with some women but never attempted to date). It was weird for me because I never in my adult life did any sort of step-by-step formulaic dating, but all of the women I was meeting were experts at it. I found I wasn't too into the overt sense of urgency I was finding in the 35-40 year old women. And they often seemed too serious. So, 25-35 was the demo I was going for. At 39, divorced with kids, I wondered if that were even realistic. It's SOOOOOO easy. Not even remotely challenging. I've never been one to approach women, and now in my ripe, old age, I was going to become more, not less, lazy about it. Why should I do all the work? The other day, my 3 year old son took my car keys out if my pocket. It was harder to get my keys back from him than it is to date. Way harder.
Priv Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 (edited) As a woman in early thirties I find it hilarious because I think we are everywhere. I find it often very difficult to guess people's age and I often consider young-ish people who don't look or act like teenagers to be in their thirties. You might indeed confuse them with a different age group. The ones that are lucky or just take good care of themselves don't look much different than in their twenties. The ones who have let themselves go could be confused for a women in her forties. Mmmm... maybe that's it. Except, I always assume everyone youngish looking is 25. I am terrible with ages anyway. 30's is weird! Edited August 4, 2014 by Priv
RonaldS Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 It gets easier for males who stop being whiny boys and become confident men. Otherwise, probably not. Pretty much
longjohn Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 (edited) Not dating atm but where do you find those women in their early 30s. Not that I am specifically looking but I don't see them. 20s yes, 40+ yes. But it is like women in their 30s dissappear from the face of the earth. Or maybe I am just mistaking them for a different age group. Been thinking about that for a while now... They are not; -In the gym -Going out -Shopping -At the beach -Swimming pool -Not even in the freaking supermarket I think the 30s is a place of solitude/hermitry for most women *disclaimer: I do not count mothers walking with children* They can be hard to find as many are married by this point or in a relationship. They are out there and they are all over the place. I've met a few through friends or friends of friends. I've met most by using OLD but had to widen my search a few extra KM's to find them. Having said that I also search for women unmarried or divorced none that are just separated and I tend to avoid women that already have children. Edited August 4, 2014 by longjohn
scooby-philly Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Short answer - no it doesn't get easier. The difficulties just change. Long answer - Asking this question is like asking does life get easier as you get older? No - the rules change, the issues change, the expectations change, etc. As the poster pointed out - unfortunately our society creates a lot of issues that people in their 20's end up getting wrapped up in. Yes, they're are the cocky, player type males and the attractive, demanding type women. Neither of them are fun. They are people completely wedded to their careers or pressured to constantly study and achieve greater and greater degrees. Or both. I think d0nnivain said it best - as we mature we SHOULD get to know ourselves better and also spot the problem people sooner - if not on sight! Now that I'm 33 my problem isn't me. I mean, i didn't date as a teenager or in my early 20's because I had zero self-esteem and a lot of emotional problems. While I'm not in the best shape (physically), and while I'm not exactly sure where my career is going, I feel more confident in myself and also more confident in taking the steps I need to to get to where i want to go. So, I attract enough women - but the issue is now finding one who matches what is most important to me and meshes with where I want to go. By their 30's - people have a lot of baggage - careers that didn't take, children, first marriages that didn't work out, parents starting to age, etc. and often haven't had the real demons exorcised yet. So it takes longer to find someone...so to speak....because you should be looking for deeper qualities that take time to spot. So it's not a question of it getting easier - the challenges just change. 2
ktya Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 It gets way easier. Caveat:. You have to have your act together. As you get older your available pool increases as a guy. Im recently single (8 months) after 17 years of back to back relationships and havent dated since i was 20. 37 now ive had sex with a 19 year old, a 25 year old, and also a 37 year old. That range of women would never have been available to me in my early twenties. With age, (should) also comes confidence, resources, wisdom, and sexual stamina and experience with women; these make you more attractive. The girls who brag about how the next 10 guys are waiting in line you learn how to play them out and become somewhat of an enigma to them (the simple answer is okay go get one then ive got enough action myself) and they end up coming back for more. Also as an older guy you learn not to put all your eggs in one basket unless that basket is really worth it. I get flamed on here from time to time because im seeing 9 girls right now. You can be honest about it and as long as you arent telling all the girls that they are the only one and misleading them its fine. Younger dudes whine and whinge mostly because they dont realize that the women are doing it too especially the sub 25 women as they have so much choice. Just focus on building your life, women are the sideshow. They come and go, they are fickle, they change their mind, sometimes they break up with you just because they want to try something else; often you can spend many years in a relationship with them and then through no fault of your own you are left with nothing not even a friend in exchange for all your compromise, money, thoughtfulness and resources. 1
me85 Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I'm not sure dating gets easier or harder, ever, really. lol Seems to just kind of be the luck of the draw. I live somewhere where there isn't much of a "singles scene" so I think of lot of it has to do with where you live. If you mean easier on yourself...like...psychologically, then yes. Because I think for the most part, our self confidence improves as we get older. For the most part. lol
Imported Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I don't think it gets easier than your college years just because of the pure number of people that you will come in contact with and see regularly. Other than that, it really depends on you. What you look like; face, body, fitness, style. How you behave, communicate and come across. If you actually go out and interact with people and try.
smackie9 Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I believe the quality of dating gets better, because you are at a point in your life of knowing what you want and what your true needs are whether it's a life partner or casual encounters. Like one poster said, you are more able to weed out the crap that would waste your time.
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