Orije Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Hello guys! I'm here to post a question that has been on my mind the past few days. A little Situation occurred where I heard from my brother's girlfriend who is friends with my girlfriend that I am clingy to her. This really shocked me because I thought I was doing my part as a good boyfriend? She doesn't try to text me at all. There was never a time where she initiated a conversation with me. Its usually me sending romantic text messages or asking about her day. I feel like her not texting me and stuff should make me try harder to be a good boyfriend or to feel a connection. I send a cute message calling her beautiful or something sweet, but she doesn't try to say anything sweet back just a "lol :)" its tough. Also she doesn't like to talk over the phone for those who might bring it up. After I heard she called me clingy, it hit me hard. How would you react if you were called clingy and what should I/you do to make yourself less clingy?
Mrs Carter Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 It sounds like you are with the wrong woman. You are doing all the work because she is pulling away and doesn't care. When it's mutually appreciated, it's not so one-sided and is much more balanced. 2
irc333 Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 It only seems clingy because it's one-sided. I'm also guessing she's lost interest in you somewhere down the road as she never reaches out to you. One only seems clingy if the other person is not interested. Hello guys! I'm here to post a question that has been on my mind the past few days. A little Situation occurred where I heard from my brother's girlfriend who is friends with my girlfriend that I am clingy to her. This really shocked me because I thought I was doing my part as a good boyfriend? She doesn't try to text me at all. There was never a time where she initiated a conversation with me. Its usually me sending romantic text messages or asking about her day. I feel like her not texting me and stuff should make me try harder to be a good boyfriend or to feel a connection. I send a cute message calling her beautiful or something sweet, but she doesn't try to say anything sweet back just a "lol :)" its tough. Also she doesn't like to talk over the phone for those who might bring it up. After I heard she called me clingy, it hit me hard. How would you react if you were called clingy and what should I/you do to make yourself less clingy?
Author Orije Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 I understand, but I was confused because she told everyone that she likes me. The only thing is that i come off as clingy. My friends brought up the idea of not speaking to her for awhile and see how long until she notices or give her the cold shoulder until she begins to realize something is up or wants to actually try for me. I'm not too sure.
aussietigerwolf Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Agreed. She sounds like she's lost interest and in that case, any attention can seem clingy.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I understand, but I was confused because she told everyone that she likes me. The only thing is that i come off as clingy. My friends brought up the idea of not speaking to her for awhile and see how long until she notices or give her the cold shoulder until she begins to realize something is up or wants to actually try for me. I'm not too sure. No, don't do this. Talk to her. I don't get why people complicate situations by playing games and avoiding communication. Let her know what you heard. Ask her what's up.
giblesp Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Hello guys! I'm here to post a question that has been on my mind the past few days. A little Situation occurred where I heard from my brother's girlfriend who is friends with my girlfriend that I am clingy to her. This really shocked me because I thought I was doing my part as a good boyfriend? She doesn't try to text me at all. There was never a time where she initiated a conversation with me. Its usually me sending romantic text messages or asking about her day. I feel like her not texting me and stuff should make me try harder to be a good boyfriend or to feel a connection. I send a cute message calling her beautiful or something sweet, but she doesn't try to say anything sweet back just a "lol :)" its tough. Also she doesn't like to talk over the phone for those who might bring it up. After I heard she called me clingy, it hit me hard. How would you react if you were called clingy and what should I/you do to make yourself less clingy? When you give out to a girl, she must give back in order for you to give some more. I'd stop the texts and compliments, when she asks why tell her that she never replies to your messages so you thought she probably didn't like them. Also, stop calling her as she doesn't like telephone calls. You might find that you're with the wrong girl dude.
scooby-philly Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 i agree with ExPatinItaly - don't play games with this situation. I've been there. It seems easy and the correct thing to do in this situation - wait until she responds. But that's not you being you and you're not addressing the issue now - and it hurts/bothers you now. Not saying you need to stalk her today via text or phone - but waiting is just going to send the wrong message. You'll be inconsistent - which is want you don't want. She'll get confused and also you don't get to know the real her - she'll respond only when she thinks something is wrong, so that will mean you don't know what her natural response time is. You like her and want X. Then you need to express that. As someone pointed out - it seems clingy because it's one sided. And you may not be compatible long term (sorry to say that). Everyone has different concepts of how a relationship should work. As much as I found a certain paying OLD site annoying - I did like the questionnaire you completed and the questions it allowed you to ask other people. One of the questions was "how much time do you typically need alone". It gave people options they could select from that while not perfect, at least allowed you to find someone within your range. If she grew up very independent or without a lot of supervision/affection you may come off clingy. You're not clingy per se - she may just have a different set of needs/expectations. And yes, someone with emotional problems or attachment disorders could find you cold and unresponsive. The only way to address this is to...address this.
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