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What are the chances that my ex will regret and want me back?

tiarakitty

By tiarakitty
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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tiarakitty Member

tiarakitty

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Firstly, I believe that falling out of love is not a crime. It happens.

Secondly, I am definitely aware that I should move on and let go. I am just curious. I have no intention of getting back together with him, instead I just wanted to know if he will regret for letting a great girlfriend (according to him) go.

 

We broke up 2 months ago, it was quite devastating. I don't cry as much as i did before. I'm starting to recover! I practice NO CONTACT and yes it helps in healing me

 

My ex (19 years old) and I (20 years old) dated for almost 2 years. When we're together, you will not be able to know that I was the older one because he had always been the matured one. He is definitely everything that I looked for in a guy - tall, smart, good looking, well-mannered and family oriented. We agree and enjoy the same songs, foods, clothes. It was generally a healthy relationship (we laughed, we make fun/pranked each other and most importantly, we're not restrictive. Also, we mutually agreed and support each other that our studies are more important than our relationship.

 

My ex is a gamer and he plays alot. Initially, i was a little bit upset because he can spend the whole day playing the game but eventually, i accepted it. Sometimes, i felt that he will prioritize his game more than chatting with me online/text. I think at this point, this marks the stage of 'settling down'. Also, whenever we have our arguments, we have this habit of not talking/discuss about it and acted nothing has ever happened. Also, over our relationships about 3-6 months before the break up, he had hinted me a couple of times that he felt he's too young but i didn't know this will be the reason for our break up.

 

2 months ago, he suddenly asked me how i felt about the relationship and eventually, he said he felt too young to be in a relationship. He felt that he's tied down, saying we have to embrace our freedom before becoming adults. Also, he 'promised me' that he won't be dating/seeing anyone until the end of military service (3 years from now, he is in the final year of his diploma). Around the break up time, we didn't have any big arguments.

 

I also believe that even before our r/s - his mum kept advising him not to fall in love at a young age because of her old regrets. His mum was in a 6 years of serious relationship with a guy she didn't end up marrying with. So she did not want the same thing happened to her children. He is definitely a mummy's boy so i think that also has triggered his decision. Also he said, he didn't want to hurt me more if he realized that i was not The One later part of r/s.

 

A week after the break up, his sister texted me saying that he felt sorry and i was the only person he ever loved and it was during examinations stress and he would woo me back. He said he just needed a time to think through. I acted like i 'didn't want to get hurt again' and will 'consider when time is right' but all these while i was secretly waiting for him.

 

Until 3-4 weeks later, i texted him saying if he still wants to try it all over again.He said he likes how things are right now and said we have to embrace it. Also, he said he will always be there for a talk or a help should i needed any. I asked if he still has any feelings left for me and he replide saying most of it has faded.

 

At some point of time, his best friend who i still kept in touch told me that my ex has nothing but compliments for me. Saying i was a great girlfriend and the problem lies with him. Also, my friend told me he retweeted things like 'Retweet if you miss somebody', 'It just hit me hard that everything we used to do together, i have to do alone now', 'Retweet if you're not the same person you were last year', ''The best part of me was always you'

 

On my birthday, his another bestfriend wished me at midnight sharp. His bestfriend is a guy i doubt he will remember when's my birthday unless my ex told him to wish me. I replied expressing my gratitude and asked about life. Also at around 1am later, MY EX wished me saying this:

 

'Hey (my name), happy birthday, I sincerely hope you are doing well and I want to wish you happy birthday, take care and let me know if you ever need anything' to which i reply with a simple 'thanks!!'. My dad told me that maybe my ex felt that it will be weird to wish me at midnight sharp so he waited an hour later..

 

I know i shouldnt have any expectations/ should move and let go but I would like to know if there's a good chance that he might regret and want me back. I repeat that I don't think i will accept him back because i believe an ex should stay an ex. Just that want him to regret it..

 

Meanwhile, I'm recovering. Surround myself with family and friends. I don't miss him as much before.

 

Thank you in advance, sorry for the long post!

Edited by tiarakitty
hoping2heal Established Member

hoping2heal

Posted
Posted

he might, I would lean more towards probably not.

 

He cares for you as a person, but he no longer has romantic feelings for you. No matter how great a person, you can't force what isn't there romantically. Sounds like he's young and just not ready to settle down. He still cares for you as a person and that's great!

 

But, by the time he meets the woman he settles down with (and conversely, you meet the man that you settle down with) you will probably both be having a bit of a "what was I thinking??" and not because anything is wrong with either one - but who you will be by that time will likely be so different having been through growth and you'll appreciate the relationships and loves you had along the way but you'll know it was really for the best it didn't work out.

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tiarakitty Member

tiarakitty

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Thank you for the great reply - I appreciate it!

 

May i know how you can tell that he loses his romantic feelings for me? Even after he retweeted those things 'The best part of me was always you'. Please note that I've deleted him from all social networks so it was my friend who told me.

 

Also, what are the changes that we can get back together in the future? (Im very much aware that I shouldn't have hopes/expectations) Especially when the reason for the break up that he feels that he's too young to be committed!

 

Thank you :-)

hoping2heal Established Member

hoping2heal

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Posted
Thank you for the great reply - I appreciate it!

 

May i know how you can tell that he loses his romantic feelings for me? Even after he retweeted those things 'The best part of me was always you'. Please note that I've deleted him from all social networks so it was my friend who told me.

 

Also, what are the changes that we can get back together in the future? (Im very much aware that I shouldn't have hopes/expectations) Especially when the reason for the break up that he feels that he's too young to be committed!

 

Thank you :-)

 

Sure

 

You have said yourself he has only good things to say about you to others and he made a birthday wish to you, but he told you his romantic feelings for you had faded.

 

The most obvious one being, he never asked you to reconcile. He's called you to wish you happy birthday - which means he's okay with contacting you. He's never broached the subject of a reconcile or getting back together though.

 

He's honest in his care and appreciate of you as a person, but if he had still those romantic thoughts he'd be doing something about it. I guess that's the most obvious giveaway

 

As for the tweets - you don't know who, what, or if there is any stock in them whatsoever. We're a sharing and tweeting culture - so many people retweet or share a status whether it has any relevance to their lives or not. I wouldn't take it as a sign they are about you - because if he really felt that way he'd be doing more than treating you like a friend.

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tiarakitty Member

tiarakitty

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Sure

 

You have said yourself he has only good things to say about you to others and he made a birthday wish to you, but he told you his romantic feelings for you had faded.

 

The most obvious one being, he never asked you to reconcile. He's called you to wish you happy birthday - which means he's okay with contacting you. He's never broached the subject of a reconcile or getting back together though.

 

He's honest in his care and appreciate of you as a person, but if he had still those romantic thoughts he'd be doing something about it. I guess that's the most obvious giveaway

 

As for the tweets - you don't know who, what, or if there is any stock in them whatsoever. We're a sharing and tweeting culture - so many people retweet or share a status whether it has any relevance to their lives or not. I wouldn't take it as a sign they are about you - because if he really felt that way he'd be doing more than treating you like a friend.

 

Thank you so much for being so honest - I do appreciate it!

 

A little update: I have this personal blog which is public. I posted my latest entry about how better I'm doing now (etc. I'm starting to go workout/ eat clean/ participate something exciting).

 

I saw my ex tweeted 'I'm glad you're doing well now .. truly. You won't be forgotten'. I've checked it's really is me. The time when he was tweeted was about one minute after he viewed my blog (i checked with an I.P tracker)

 

His latest re-tweets have been about 'kinda wanna text you but kinda don't wanna.. i feel like a f***** idiot'' and more like ''i miss you''

 

Its been almost 3 months… did my blogpost affect whatever decision he's making? (etc. to move on or to get me back)

 

Im quite confused.. I need inputs.

 

Major thanks!!!!!!!

Edited by tiarakitty
NC-Thomas Established Member

NC-Thomas

Posted
Posted (edited)
Thank you so much for being so honest - I do appreciate it!

 

A little update: I have this personal blog which is public. I posted my latest entry about how better I'm doing now (etc. I'm starting to go workout/ eat clean/ participate something exciting).

 

I saw my ex tweeted 'I'm glad you're doing well now .. truly. You won't be forgotten'. I've checked it's really is me. The time when he was tweeted was about one minute after he viewed my blog (i checked with an I.P tracker)

 

His latest re-tweets have been about 'kinda wanna text you but kinda don't wanna.. i feel like a f***** idiot'' and more like ''i miss you''

 

Its been almost 3 months… did my blogpost affect whatever decision he's making? (etc. to move on or to get me back)

 

Im quite confused.. I need inputs.

 

Major thanks!!!!!!!

 

The whole point is, you claim to be in NC? So why are tracing his IP address and reading his tweets?! That is not NC!

 

You need to lay off the sauce. Get busy with something else. Stop tracing his reads and stop reading his tweets or block him...

 

Don't investigate, or you might as well just add him back on Facebook... :confused:

Edited by NC-Thomas
erklat Established Member

erklat

Posted
Posted

Tracing his ip address sounds like you're not doing no contact. Furthermore, now you're overanalyzing it.

 

Take things at face value. You're single and he's posting chit on Twitter. Nothing more to it until there is.

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tiarakitty Member

tiarakitty

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Hahaha thanks guys for the reply.

 

I think I've been NC (already few months now) long enough to realise that I won't get back to him. I'm still NC now (i stopped contacting him etc.) I'm just curious whether he regrets it..

 

About the tweet, it was my friend who alerted me about it. Us being curious, i went to check and indeed the tweet was about me - (Im glad youre doing fine now..truly. You wont be forgotten)

 

What do you guys think? Do you think he still likes me/regret it?

 

Dont worry guys im doing fine im just curious :-)

erklat Established Member

erklat

Posted
Posted

Until he moves a mountain to reverse what he did to you...

 

He doesn't care or miss you.

Allumere Established Member

Allumere

Posted
Posted

I think you had a good relationship that ran it's course and as much as most of us struggle as dumpee when the dumper decides to move on it isn't a negative. You can always still love and care for the person. You can always smile at the memories. There can be regret over any pain caused even if it wasn't directed or intentional. In the long run however (years down the line), in most instances (not all), there isn't regret that you aren't still together. And you know what, that's OK. Things are still really fresh for you both so your questions and some of his comments are normal. At this point it really is a 'time will tell" scenario. You are both young ( I know I hated it when people said that to me but having 25 years on ya, I now get it) so go live, experience people, places and things.

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