Darren2013 Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Would a woman consider it a red flag if she asks me to be her boyfriend and I tell her that I need 1 week before I am ready? Would she take that as code that I'm trying out some other woman on the side before giving her exclusivity?
Dork Vader Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Depends how you word it.. By why do you need a week specifically? Just say you really like her and would like to take things slow. Tell her you want a solid foundation for a relationship and don't want to rush it because rushed relationships have no foundation.. Unless of course there is another woman. Then you need to be honest.. It is only fair.. 1
Author Darren2013 Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 In theory taking things slow would be wise but in practice some people like to use this line as a stalling tactic. Kind of like how some guys will stall a woman about marriage by telling her that he will marry her once he gets his business going or once he finishes paying off the car note or once he buys a better house or gets a better paying job, etc. In theory it is good to have one's ducks in a row before committing but how can you tell the difference between someone who really has intentions of committing vs. the ones who say these things as a stall tactic? Or here's another line. "I need time to work on myself before entering a relationship". In theory we would all agree that working on oneself is a good thing but again sometimes this is used as a stalling tactic when there's no intention of committing.
Lernaean_Hydra Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Would she take that as code that I'm trying out some other woman on the side before giving her exclusivity? I certainly would. That's actually the first thought that would enter my mind. There's actually no generally pleasant way to tell someone you need some time to think about whether they're worth dating. This isn't a knock on you though because wanting to think things over is perfectly natural. But most people need a bit more time and go the 'taking things slow' route rather than basically state "I'm not sure if I like you...let me think about it". No one wants to get into a relationship only to then have to end things soon after because they feel/realized they've made a mistake. However, what is one week really going to do to make things clearer for you? Most people kinda just tend to "know" if they want to be with someone or not and if they don't, unless they're resorting to looking at things in a scientific, list-based 'pros vs cons' sort of way, a week of thoughtful consideration isn't going to change much.
Author Darren2013 Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 (edited) So overall once a woman puts an offer on the table for a promotion to boyfriend status then it is either a now or never opportunity assuming that she respects herself. I only have 2 options to either take the offer now or never. Women take a now or never approach when they make an offer. But in some ways that's like someone offering me a job. I either take them up on their offer now or be prepared to not get another opportunity. When job applications ask when can you start it is always best to put down as soon as possible instead of putting down September 1st. Employers may be suspect and wonder why you are waiting 1 month to begin as it shows you are not that enthusiastic about working for their company. Edited August 4, 2014 by Darren2013 1
Dork Vader Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Your employer analogy is not that great. I got offered a job that started at $150k a year. I did not even ask for it.. It was a dream job and one that I want badly.. How ever.. I own a business.. It's a lot to walk away from. I'd also be moving across the USA to a place in which I know NO ONE! If I walk away from my business I'd be throwing away over 10 years of work and a solid income.. But I hate it.. For a job I think I'd love.. But in a place I've never been.. There is a lot more to it then what you suggest.. 1
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Seriously? Of course thats what she will think and who wouldnt... I had this line and I told him he should have known by now and if he doesnt then he simply isnt that into me. You shouldnt need to take a week to think about it thats ridicuous shes not asking you to marry her!! x 1
HereTodayGoneTomorow Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Would a woman consider it a red flag if she asks me to be her boyfriend and I tell her that I need 1 week before I am ready? Would she take that as code that I'm trying out some other woman on the side before giving her exclusivity? How long have you been dating? Some people want to get into boyfriend/girlfriend relationships too quickly rather than letting things grow/mature naturally. I think she is putting you on the spot and its normal to want to think things over before you go ahead. At least you're not leading her on by making a big decision on the spot. Again, it depends how long you have been dating and how much you know about one another. You're doing the right thing need time, but I wouldn't phrase it to her as 'needing a week to think things over'. Maybe let her know that you're super busy next few days so she may not hear from you but you will get in touch with her soon.
HappyLove Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 So overall once a woman puts an offer on the table for a promotion to boyfriend status then it is either a now or never opportunity assuming that she respects herself. I only have 2 options to either take the offer now or never. Women take a now or never approach when they make an offer. But in some ways that's like someone offering me a job. I either take them up on their offer now or be prepared to not get another opportunity. When job applications ask when can you start it is always best to put down as soon as possible instead of putting down September 1st. Employers may be suspect and wonder why you are waiting 1 month to begin as it shows you are not that enthusiastic about working for their company. What exactly do you need to think about?
Gaeta Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 She wants exclusivity. You can tell her you enjoy 'dating' her but you need more time to commit to being official bf-gf. How long you've been dating? If a man would ask me a week to think about it I would think he has something else stirring on the stove and he wants to know how that's gonna cook. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Anything other than a resounding yes with perhaps the exception of a brief conversation about what the new label means will be viewed as a rejection by the woman.
Recommended Posts