Beebar Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I met a guy on a 2-week-long trip, and I'm going back to his country for another semester. We had such a great time together (both emotional and physical) that he asked me to be his girlfriend and to keep things exclusive while I'm back home (and to be Facebook official). We've talked every day and lately he has been a little clingy, already talking about our future plans and him moving to my country when he finished school. His parents added me on Facebook and he is already making plans to introduce me to his extended family and best friends. His friends said they've never seen him so happy and he smiles like crazy every time he gets a text from me. He also said if anything falls through with my dorm during study abroad, I can stay with him. It is freaking me out and I regret allowing myself to get into this LDR that he is taking more seriously than me. I like him and want to spend time with him when I go back to his country, but I've already decided I do not want to continue things once I go back home from my second study abroad. I don't think we have enough of a foundation to go on after I leave. We've only been dating a month! I guess what I would say to him is that I don't think this is going to work long term but I would still like to have a good time during study abroad, and I think it would be better to end on a good note and get some closure in person rather than wait for things to get problematic when we are long distance. 1. Is this an okay way to approach this topic? To continue things while we are in person but have an end date in sight? I am fully aware that he may not want to continue things, but if he is willing then I would still like to spend some time together in person (I've been in LDRs before and know things can be quite different in person than when you're away from each other) 2. His birthday is this week...would it be better to have this talk now, or do I have to wait until after? I feel like it's phony if I wait. He's in his 30s and doesn't think his birthday is important, but I still don't want to be a jerk
hoping2heal Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 He's moving too fast and it's making you uncomfortable - understandable. But, you seem to actually like him; you just don't like the warp speed and obvious pressure that brings. I guess what I'm saying is, couldn't the two of you have a frank conversation and slow things *way* down, or at least visit the possibility and see if that's realistic from his vantage point before breaking up? He might not be aware at how all of this is making you feel super uncomfortable.
Recommended Posts