Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 I've recently broken off with a boyfriend. It was hard to do as it was my first boyfriend in over a decade. It was clear that we wanted different things and that we were incompatible. I wanted to go travelling and he didn't. I wanted to help woman and support woman's rights and he thought " woman's lib was the reason the western world was heading towards destruction. That and supporting gay marriage. Two views I don't support as female rights are human rights and gay marriage is something I'm not fussed about ( new zealand where I'm from is the 13th country in the world that has legalised same sex marriage ) I was quite glad that I ended it though when I finally did and was really relieved. Though when i said this isn't going to work with me and ended it I thought a day later he wanted to ask me out. I was really surprised. So i rang him up and made my stance clear. He said he still wanted to try.. talk about persistent! The thing is he's been texting me everyday an encroaching on some personal boundaries because I'm studying at the moment. But he doesn't quit. I told him to leave me alone. And i told him politely. Is this a persistent man or someone who has some serious issues? And what has any body out there dealt with seriously persistent people and what was the biggest thing you've learnt?
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 It's pretty normal, most people don't want to be just broken up with, especially over arguments/disagreements like that. You're right to break up with him but I think what you'll learn is people who are like this have a pattern, it's not necessarily you...you're triggering him into panic and seize control mode.
gaius Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 Can't you just block him or ignore his texts? Generally persistent people aren't persistent unless they're getting some form of positive feedback from you. 3
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted August 3, 2014 Author Posted August 3, 2014 I havent text him back and made my stand diplomatically clear. I just haven't dealt with someone like him before. I always thought he appeared over powering. Could have been because he's six foot and a rather big guy. But I never envisioned him being a bit encroaching.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 Are you responding to his texts? If so, stop. If that doesn't work, tell him once that if he continues to contact you, you will block his number. But only tell him this if you intend to follow through. What are the nature of his texts?
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted August 3, 2014 Author Posted August 3, 2014 Usually it's a bizarre how are you and hows study. Which is fine followed by a what are you doing this weekend. When i make it clear that our relationship is no longer, he usually says I'd like to give it go and that ' we can still hang out to see where it goes' in which i respond " we did give it a go and it didn't go very far" he hasn't text me today! Yay! Hopefully he has the message firmly secure
gaius Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 I don't think a lot of women know how to handle guys with testosterone anymore. =/ Just do what everyone else said and keep ignoring him if he starts it up again.
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted August 3, 2014 Author Posted August 3, 2014 I don't think it's an issue of testosterone. If a woman says no, if she says no to sex, or no to a date, or no to persistent people who don't take a hint, is this an issue of testosterone or the fact that she has self respect? if that's the case, then perhaps I have huge levels of testosterone all because I know how to use the word No when I start to feel uncomfortable. I don't quite understand your meaning or logic.
gaius Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I've had more than one girlfriend who said "no" at first and then got off on me continuing to pursue, eventually saying yes. If a guy has a lot of testosterone you've got to match your actions to your words or he's probably going to keep bothering you. Because there's a lot of women and people in general that don't always mean what they say.
Gaeta Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 he usually says I'd like to give it go and that ' we can still hang out to see where it goes' in which i respond " we did give it a go and it didn't go very far" he hasn't text me today! Yay! Hopefully he has the message firmly secure Here is your problem, you answer and you argument with him. Each time you answer, no matter if it's positive or negative, it give him hope and munition to continue pestering you. Delete his text as they come in, do not read them, do not respond to them.
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