Brew1do2 Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 This is my first post.. I hope I'm doing this right. I'm 24 years old, I've been very happy with my life but two days ago my significant other told me she wanted a break to explore her options. I have a lot of anxiety issues and tend to isolate myself which makes it hard for me to reach out to people (why I'm here). I love her more than anything, I want to spend the rest of my life with her but she doesn't care for me anymore. She was my best friend and I've wrapped my entire life around her for the last five years. I can't function anymore. I wake up and cry, I go to work and cry, at night I sob like a baby. I've never felt this fragile and depressed and I just want it to stop. We live together so I have to relive this pain everyday in the surroundings of the life we've built together. I know the generic advice, time heals all wounds, find yourself etc. but nothing seems to help right now. Is there some sort of trick where I can just go numb? I can't keep feeling this pain.
Tbisb74 Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 The only trick is to ask her to leave, and go No Contact. Her living under the same roof as you is grossly unfair, if she has requested 'a break' (which is utter nonsense by the way). There is no such thing as 'a break'. This is the precursor to "I don't feel it any more, I've decided we should part." Her remaining in your living space is both cruel and selfish. Tell her if she wants space, then make it big. Really big. 'Miles apart', big. Her treatment of you is on the face of it, callous and insensitive. Ask her to leave, because this is irreversible,. Then read the No Contact Guide. Pinned at the top of this sub-forum ('Breaks and breaking up').
hoping2heal Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 A good start would be not living together. A wound can't heal with the knife still lodged inside of it right? Same concept. You will go numb, and then you won't, and then you will. It's part of the process. Time doesn't heal all wounds, acceptance does.
d0nnivain Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 It's going to hurt a LOT for a while. This is a huge change because you two have been together since you were teenagers You do have to stop living together. If you are the one who moves you will automatically get a fresh start a place that has no memories of her. If you stay in the apartment after she leaves, redecorate. You will need to keep yourself busy. Join a gym. Take daily walks. Move your body in some way. Reach out to some live person you can talk to . . . even your parents or siblings if you don't have any friends. When the acute pain subsides work on building a new life, with new friends.
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