lotenyc7 Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 Hey everybody sorry this might seem long but I need to inform the details.. I need some help/advice on trying to woo this woman I'm interested in. I met her about 2 years ago we sort of have same mutual friends not close friends, but friends of friends so we occasionally run into each other. Anyhow we met 2 years ago I was interested in her then, but I was aware that she had just started dating this lawyer guy so she sort of disappeared from our usual ny dating scene. About 2 months ago I ran into her at a bar she seemed very distant, I was very polite and offered to buy her and her friend a drink. We chatted for a little until I saw my cue that it wasn't going anywhere so I left. About a few weeks after I ran into her and her friend again this time, I was only passing by and her rude friend had stated to me in words "my friends not into you go away" an extremely rude Ukrainian girl. I just laughed and thought to myself wtf am I in high school? So after that I decided to forget about the girl entirely. About 2 weeks ago I happened to be on a date and honestly was unaware that the girl I'm talking about was at the same bar. I noticed her but gave her no attention. I kept all my attention on my date, just laughing and having fun with the girl I was with. I did notice she tried extra hard to get my attention, when I went to the bathroom she tried to stay around there or if I went to the bar she followed. I did not even bat an eye her way. I continued to enjoy my date and the two of us left for the night. My date with the girl was great but we both decided we are way better off as friends so that really didn't go anywhere. Getting back to the original girl, this past Wednesday My friends had invited me to this new place that opened in Brooklyn so I figured what the hell and I went. I was having an awesome time catching up with people I haven't hung out with in a while. Of course to my knowledge the girl was there sitting in the corner with her rude friend. I still made no eye contact and acted as if I didn't see her, and just had fun with my friends. Towards the end of the night I was heading towards the bathroom and bam! She and her friend were right in my face. She had a huge smile and was very friendly. Her friend on the other hand had the ugliest face on.. So I smiled back at her and was just like "oh hey sorry but your friend pretty much told me to keep away" after I said that she had told me that her friend was very over protective and just mean. So we both shared a laugh and I asked her if she would like to have a drink. She told me she was on her way home but one more drink wouldn't hurt. So I bought her and her friend a drink. We sat and talked for a bit. I was more concerned with getting her friend to like me which at the end of the night she was a bit more friendlier to me. Anyway we exchanged numbers I texted her the next morning to make sure she got home okay. She responded very subtly. I then asked her out last minute last night to meet up for a bit but she had prior arranged plans. She did however counter offer and invited me to hangout with her and her friends today at some event. Which I turned down because I had prior plans. My question is now who makes the next move?? She had told me she was just coming out of a relationship and is emotionally unavailable. So with her saying that I'm kind of taken back from asking her on a date or coming on too strong.. Should I wait for her to make the next move? I'm just dying to get this girl a lone on a date.. I know she would be into me if I got the chance to show her who I am. I just don't want to ruin it and feel too desperate or too pushy.. Please help
smackie9 Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 All she is probably looking for is something casual, you know FWB. so go for it, ask her out and tell her to leave her friend at home.
Author lotenyc7 Posted August 3, 2014 Author Posted August 3, 2014 I'm not looking for a friend with benefits I actually like her
smackie9 Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 I'm not looking for a friend with benefits I actually like her Too bad for you because she already told you she isn't interested in a relationship (just got out of a relationship and is emotionally unavailable). The barrier is up, she invites you out with friends, not alone. Better get the hint she isn't looking. 1
Dork Vader Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 I'm not looking for a friend with benefits I actually like her She is just looking for fun and the fact that you gave her the cold shoulder is driving her nuts. To bad if you want more.. It's not going to happen right now. You could have fun with her she might get attached. But I would not pin any hopes on it. If you're capable just have fun with her enjoy the friendship for what it is now.. If it goes some place it does.. If not it's dust on your shoulder brush it off and move on.
Clockwork Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 Tell her how you think, period. It didn't always work with me but it worked on the last woman I was with, I married her. Still am married to her. I told her how I felt. Don't ever be afraid of rejection.
torturedartist Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 Hey everybody sorry this might seem long but I need to inform the details.. I need some help/advice on trying to woo this woman I'm interested in. I met her about 2 years ago we sort of have same mutual friends not close friends, but friends of friends so we occasionally run into each other. Anyhow we met 2 years ago I was interested in her then, but I was aware that she had just started dating this lawyer guy so she sort of disappeared from our usual ny dating scene. About 2 months ago I ran into her at a bar she seemed very distant, I was very polite and offered to buy her and her friend a drink. We chatted for a little until I saw my cue that it wasn't going anywhere so I left. About a few weeks after I ran into her and her friend again this time, I was only passing by and her rude friend had stated to me in words "my friends not into you go away" an extremely rude Ukrainian girl. I just laughed and thought to myself wtf am I in high school? So after that I decided to forget about the girl entirely. About 2 weeks ago I happened to be on a date and honestly was unaware that the girl I'm talking about was at the same bar. I noticed her but gave her no attention. I kept all my attention on my date, just laughing and having fun with the girl I was with. I did notice she tried extra hard to get my attention, when I went to the bathroom she tried to stay around there or if I went to the bar she followed. I did not even bat an eye her way. I continued to enjoy my date and the two of us left for the night. My date with the girl was great but we both decided we are way better off as friends so that really didn't go anywhere. Getting back to the original girl, this past Wednesday My friends had invited me to this new place that opened in Brooklyn so I figured what the hell and I went. I was having an awesome time catching up with people I haven't hung out with in a while. Of course to my knowledge the girl was there sitting in the corner with her rude friend. I still made no eye contact and acted as if I didn't see her, and just had fun with my friends. Towards the end of the night I was heading towards the bathroom and bam! She and her friend were right in my face. She had a huge smile and was very friendly. Her friend on the other hand had the ugliest face on.. So I smiled back at her and was just like "oh hey sorry but your friend pretty much told me to keep away" after I said that she had told me that her friend was very over protective and just mean. So we both shared a laugh and I asked her if she would like to have a drink. She told me she was on her way home but one more drink wouldn't hurt. So I bought her and her friend a drink. We sat and talked for a bit. I was more concerned with getting her friend to like me which at the end of the night she was a bit more friendlier to me. Anyway we exchanged numbers I texted her the next morning to make sure she got home okay. She responded very subtly. I then asked her out last minute last night to meet up for a bit but she had prior arranged plans. She did however counter offer and invited me to hangout with her and her friends today at some event. Which I turned down because I had prior plans. My question is now who makes the next move?? She had told me she was just coming out of a relationship and is emotionally unavailable. So with her saying that I'm kind of taken back from asking her on a date or coming on too strong.. Should I wait for her to make the next move? I'm just dying to get this girl a lone on a date.. I know she would be into me if I got the chance to show her who I am. I just don't want to ruin it and feel too desperate or too pushy.. Please help I don't have it in me to read your entire post. I'd like to comment on the overall tone of your question based on the first two paragraphs and your title, "who makes the next move?". If you currently see your relationship with this woman as a game, like chess (or probably more like checkers in your case), isn't it logical to assume it will always be a game? Do you think that if you checkmate her king the nature of the game will suddenly change, or end? Do you really believe someone can specify the combination of moves you need to make to get your checkers to the back row, at which point it will be easy sailing because then they'll be kings and can move either direction? I did just scroll up a little bit to read a bit of your post, to make sure I'm not out of line in coming down on you. I read the bit where you mentioned texting her the next morning to make sure she made it home okay. So let me get this straight... you were so worried about her getting home safely that you went to bed the previous night and didn't even think to text her until the next morning? Let's say she'd had a car accident on the way home. How much good would your text have been eight hours later, after she laid in a ditch all night? You obviously weren't very worried about her, to have waited until the next morning to text her. I'm not sure who you're trying to fool. I'm assuming it's yourself, considering you have no reason to impress anyone else here. And in conclusion: Dude, women can smell insincerity. Yours is so pungent other men can even smell it. In the future just be honest--with yourself and other people. Amen.
Author lotenyc7 Posted August 3, 2014 Author Posted August 3, 2014 I don't have it in me to read your entire post. I'd like to comment on the overall tone of your question based on the first two paragraphs and your title, "who makes the next move?". If you currently see your relationship with this woman as a game, like chess (or probably more like checkers in your case), isn't it logical to assume it will always be a game? Do you think that if you checkmate her king the nature of the game will suddenly change, or end? Do you really believe someone can specify the combination of moves you need to make to get your checkers to the back row, at which point it will be easy sailing because then they'll be kings and can move either direction? I did just scroll up a little bit to read a bit of your post, to make sure I'm not out of line in coming down on you. I read the bit where you mentioned texting her the next morning to make sure she made it home okay. So let me get this straight... you were so worried about her getting home safely that you went to bed the previous night and didn't even think to text her until the next morning? Let's say she'd had a car accident on the way home. How much good would your text have been eight hours later, after she laid in a ditch all night? You obviously weren't very worried about her, to have waited until the next morning to text her. I'm not sure who you're trying to fool. I'm assuming it's yourself, considering you have no reason to impress anyone else here. And in conclusion: Dude, women can smell insincerity. Yours is so pungent other men can even smell it. In the future just be honest--with yourself and other people. Amen. Dude it's better late than never and hell no I'm not the type of man to text a woman as soon as I get into bed.. Plus I have all the time in the world to be honest with her I told the girl when she asked me my type wed night and I said her entirely as to which she quickly pulled out her phone to exchange numbers... All I'm asking is how do I go about it to not just have another fk buddy.. Thanks for the ****ty advice and btw I got your insecurity right here you artist herb
d0nnivain Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 Try asking her out on a proper date with sufficient advanced notice. You both have active social lives so this last minute stuff leaves you as ships passing in the night.
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