cryovermoon Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 Dear all, Not sure this is the right place I should be posting this. sorry bout the terrible grammer mistake, english wasn't my 1st language. It all happened back in 4 years time, when I proposed and she nodded, that was one the greatest things that happened in my life. We were together for about few months when we decided to move over to Hong Kong to get a better job there. I had to move over to Hong Kong a month alter as I promised my boss that I will completed my project before everything, she didn't follow my schedule as she worried that she might need more time looking for a job, so she went to Hong Kong a month ahead me. I could still remember how excited we were, thinking about the whole challenge and environment that we might be facing, I helped her to packed and drove her to the airport. we kissed goodbye and she left to HK. For the first few weeks it was lovely and sweet, we talk to each other on the phone about how much we missed each other, cared for each others little details. Then suddenly, one day on the phone she told me that she doesn't want me to follow her to HK, and that she want to work in Dubai or Singapore if I could get better salary there. I was thought she was joking, because for another few more days I will be on the plane to join her in HK. She picked me that day on the airport. At that very moment, I could sense that something had changed, she wasn't the her that I knew. Shortly later, I found out that over the last week. She had emotional and physical with a guy, which shortly break up with her after found out that she was married to me. She ask if we could just break up, the reason being that she was too young when she say yes. I beg her to not leave me just like and promised that I shall gave her the best thing that she wants, blah blah blah.... we were together... It happened again when I had to travel to my home country for a week a month ago. When i came back, the same feeling that I experiences creeps through my spine. I felt that something is not right, she told me that nothing had happened, but she felt tired in this relationship and wanted a small separation. She wanted me to move out of the house so that she wanted to know that if she still had that feeling towards me. we fought over this issue and naively I took it as a test between us, and will prove to her that my love to her will never change. So I rented a small studio near to where she stay, but I have not move in yet. Until last night, I found out she had anther affair with another guy, emotionally and physically. I was totally devastated. Seriously.... what should I do and what have I done wrong. I see myself as a very traditional man that man should always take care and protect his family first. I am a very responsible man and I had never flirt with anyone after this marriage. I do make her angry because, 1) I wasn't romantic enough 2) I couldn't gave her a memorable wedding (financially, I wasn't doing very well at that time, and it touches me when she nodded even I was poor at that time) 3) I will be very moody whenever I am very stress, I might yell or be offensive whenever she try to approach me. 4) I believe her when she say presents are not needed for XYZ occasion. 5) .... not sure what else oh gosh.... seriously I do hope this is just a nightmare... not sure what should I do... Options 1) Move out 2) comfort her lover (I know where) 3) stay in the house just to torment her 4) conciliation (I still love her) 5) not sure I am seriously in a real bad situation right now... please give me some advice, I can't tell this to a friend, most of them thought that we were ok.
hoping2heal Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 You should have listened the first time when she said she was too young. She's apparently still "too young" to honor her commitments. You can stay with her and guess what? You will be treated to more of the same. This is no longer "what she did one time" it's becoming a pattern.
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