preraph Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 I'd date one but not mate one. I have a close friend who's medication/doctor phobic. Her sister is too. I think it's because their mom died when she was pretty young and they blame that instead of her disease. So they're 60-ish and didn't go to a doctor until one of them couldn't walk anymore and then that freed up the other sister to go about her extremely crippling type of arthritis that she'd never gotten treatment for. BY that time it was so advanced, nothing but really extreme drugs would help, but it did give her some relief. And still to this day, she will try to find fault with medications, etc. I told her when it gets to the point where the condition is making you more miserable than any of the side effects ever could, you need to rethink your philosophy. Both of them could have had far less pain for decades but for their phobia. I certainly wouldn't have kids with someone who insisted on "no doctors or medicine" because that would be neglect if you went along with it. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 I go to the doctor when I am sick.. and dental checkups because I think they are worthwhile. I would find it frustrating to date someone who denies they are sick and does not seek help when needed.Or alternative types who think they and their naturopath and co know better than doctors. Link to post Share on other sites
Eau Claire Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 The key to keeping in good health, even if terminal, is to be positive. Keeping positive can defy the odds of any doctor's prognosis. You hear those stories where one only has months, but lives for years. Someone close to me has a rare brain tumor, still alive after 4 years since diagnosis.....considered a medical miracle, and has the interest of the medical community. I'm a nurse and have had a thousand patients woven to decades who tried to be positive...and died. Illness is a physical phenomenon with physical treatments. A smile cures neither a brain tumour or blocked arteries. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Calcmag Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I'm a nurse and have had a thousand patients woven to decades who tried to be positive...and died. Illness is a physical phenomenon with physical treatments. A smile cures neither a brain tumour or blocked arteries. Thank you for this post. To say that thinking positive is the key to good health is terribly derogatory to those who have found that they cannot beat this disease and it's pretty offensive to those of us who have loved ones who died despite doing everything they could to 'fight' and continue to live. Kind of like saying "oh if only you'd been a bit happier, more positive, you would have beaten it". No, it does not work like that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I'm a nurse and have had a thousand patients woven to decades who tried to be positive...and died. Illness is a physical phenomenon with physical treatments. A smile cures neither a brain tumour or blocked arteries. Yeesh what a bedside manner. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I'm a nurse and have had a thousand patients woven to decades who tried to be positive...and died. Illness is a physical phenomenon with physical treatments. A smile cures neither a brain tumour or blocked arteries. There is nothing that works for everyone. Attitude can affect outcome, not every time, but sometimes. A new study explores the importance of a patient's outlook as it relates to health behavior and health status. Researchers focused on lung cancer patients and discovered that those who exhibited an optimistic disposition experienced more favorable outcomes than those with a pessimistic disposition. Lung cancer patients with optimistic attitudes have longer survival, study finds -- ScienceDaily Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I'm a nurse and have had a thousand patients woven to decades who tried to be positive...and died. Illness is a physical phenomenon with physical treatments. A smile cures neither a brain tumour or blocked arteries. Death is inevitable for everyone. It's your time, it's your time. The healthiest, well maintained, and individuals that have regular checkups can drop dead at anytime without warning or fall ill fast and furious. I never said keeping positive cures people, but it can extend a person's life. State of mind, power of positive thinking, spirituality/ prayer are areas that are being explored by medical science. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 Darren, these links are for you. Drum circles are among therapies for cancer patients Music Therapy Stress Relief for Cancer Patients - X8 Drums The Therapeutic Effects of Drumming Healing Effects of Drum Sounds - Healing.Answers.com I don't think I could date a guy who refuses to see the doctor. He has to have common sense enough to know when a doctor actually can help him. Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 i am uber-healthy, go to doctors, eat right, etc. and i put my back out for 6 weeks recently. my younger brother is gigantic from bad eating, hasn't been to a doctor in probably 15 years and has never had any health issues like i have. going to a doctor doesn't equate to good health so i could care less. as long as the person is outwardly maintaining health that counts for more imo Link to post Share on other sites
kodakgirl Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 It wouldn't be that big a deal to me if he didn't go to yearly check-ups, but otherwise paid a decent amount of attention to his health (eating reasonably well, getting exercise). It would be a big deal if he was the type who wouldn't even go when something is clearly wrong, or who wasn't complacent with treatments, or didn't ever think about his health at all. I have a chronic, genetic health condition that I have to be complacent with all the time or I die (well, sooner than otherwise, which is pretty much guaranteed to be young anyway). I have to work on my health every single day to even have a semblance of normal function. If a guy can't be a grown-up and pay attention to his health every so often, I just can't respect that. Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I would urge her to go to the doctor. Then again, don't most women do it anyway? Breast cancer can be a little scary. My wife gets a physical every year. I know you ladies don't like them and maybe it isn't the most comfortable thing in the world for a man (if it is a male doctor) doing a breast exam or a vaginal exam on you leaving you in a vulnerable position but it could save your life. My wife goes to the doctor and gets those things done. It is just a breast exam. I play with them for real every other time, so it is important for me that she is checked so that things can be detected. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I know you ladies don't like them and maybe it isn't the most comfortable thing in the world for a man (if it is a male doctor) doing a breast exam or a vaginal exam on you leaving you in a vulnerable position but it could save your life. Why would that be? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I would urge her to go to the doctor. Then again, don't most women do it anyway? Breast cancer can be a little scary. My wife gets a physical every year. I know you ladies don't like them and maybe it isn't the most comfortable thing in the world for a man (if it is a male doctor) doing a breast exam or a vaginal exam on you leaving you in a vulnerable position but it could save your life. My wife goes to the doctor and gets those things done. It is just a breast exam. I play with them for real every other time, so it is important for me that she is checked so that things can be detected. Most women do their own monthly exam. Middle age or high risk go to a mammogram clinic once a year or every 2 years and it's covered by our socialist(haha) medical system. As for vulnerability, no never felt that way for a pap test or breast exam. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 This sounds a lot like a control issue, regardless of the goodness of the intentions. Its a " do it because I want / demand it, and ibdisregars what you want " Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I'm a nurse and have had a thousand patients woven to decades who tried to be positive...and died. I wish you could talk some sense into my friend. She too calls it the power of positive thinking. It got very annoying hearing her go on about being positive as her feet deformed to the point where she can barely wear shoes. Oddly, her mother was a nurse, so not sure what happened there. Probably they were just too young to process their mother dying. And then she expected praise for being stoic and continuing to function, as if she was a martyr. She was just being stupid. She has been subscribed to one of those homeopathic newsletters for decades and believes everything in it, even though she now admits one month it will say one thing and the next, contradict it. So she believes everything in that and in the home remedies, but believes nothing a doctor has to say and doesn't believe in real medicine. I was so relieved her sister finally went to a doctor so that she would follow because they validate each other and that gave her permission. I know everyone has their quirks, but that's not the one to have going into your 60s! Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 Would anyone seriously call it off with someone the loved over this? I cant imagine it. And its not something your exactly going to ask on the first date. Might be something on the wishlist, but stopping you dating someone otherwise 'perfect' is a little OTT, i'd find. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Giggle Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 (edited) I'd be unlikely date somebody who did go to the doctor all the time. I go when needed. My 6 months old developed a hernia. The doctor was surprised that I even noticed the problem. That isn't neglegence. It's another facet of peoples different outlooks. Some people feel births are only acceptable in a hospital surrounded by doctors while others of us are more comfortable with a midwife trained to know when a doctor is actually needed and have our babies at home. Don't knock naturopaths either just because it isn't your cup of tea. But that is entirely different from someone who ignores anything that comes up and refuses to take care of themselves. Edited August 3, 2014 by Giggle 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WorryGirl Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I'm a nurse and have had a thousand patients woven to decades who tried to be positive...and died. Illness is a physical phenomenon with physical treatments. A smile cures neither a brain tumour or blocked arteries. Snap, also a nurse. Whilst I don't believe that a cheery disposition can rid the world of disease, a positive healthy mindset can have benefits when it comes to illness. We know that depression and stress have a negative effect on tissue healing, just as poor pain control also prolongs other symptoms. It doesn't seem so far fetched that positivity can promote at least some healing. Link to post Share on other sites
WorryGirl Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I'm a big believer in modern medicine, especially since I work in healthcare. I'd be frustrated if my fella didn't know when to visit a doctor, though I'm not an advocate for random health MOTs either. That doesn't mean I don't believe in routine smear tests etc, but then I wouldn't say they were random. Bottom line is, if you're sick or have something that concerns you, visit the quack. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 It wouldn't be a deal breaker. I'd probably try to encourage it if we're together but it wouldn't be something I'd write them off for. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 my great uncle went to the hospital for a check up he had a sore back.......they put his legs in traction and released the cancer that was in his spine somehow.....paralysed him......and he never got out of hospital after that he died in there......he walked in never walked out..... they then during his last days put him right next to my great grandmother who was also on her way out.......side by side...it was really sad especially when they held hands...she didnt recognise him sometimes and other times she did.........she kept asking where he was after he died....i dont like hospitals and never will.....i often wonder where a doctors heads at when i see codl behavior and or practices...........and if the hippocratic oath is something they believe in.....or is it money...i havent had much faith in doctors i have met a few really caring ones......they always stand out for their compassion though...when i find a good doctor i stay with them if i can..........deb Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 I don't go to the Doc unless im ill or there is some need..I have dated men who wouldn't even do this and NO I would not date one like that again to much chance of them making me sick.. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Would anyone seriously call it off with someone the loved over this? I cant imagine it. And its not something your exactly going to ask on the first date. Might be something on the wishlist, but stopping you dating someone otherwise 'perfect' is a little OTT, i'd find. I dated a man with a skin condition a bad one he refused to get treated he knew he broke out he never told me now I have a permanent skin condition as a result (I never had it before I met him)I get break outs they are extremely painful and can be scaring your dam right I broke up with him over it..and im still pissed off at him for it..call that OTT if you like but yeah.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Why would that be? Well I'm not a woman, but I've always heard the physical exam is rather awkward for them. Not something they crave. Link to post Share on other sites
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