How do you get a Pakistani, Muslim girl?

[Mengineer]

I met her during my first college semester, three years ago. I never talked to her, though I did notice her glances occasionally. I was still going out with my then girlfriend, and was not interested in other girls.

 

 

 

Three semesters pass. By this time I was a single guy again. I encountered this Muslim girl again in my class. I recognized her after a little while, but we didn't talk. I saw her in a study room a few weeks after that day, and she approached me to talk about out class together. I just acted friendly about it, but nothing more. It was very gradual, but I noticed with time we were greeting each other more often, and any awkwardness was decreasing.

 

After that semester, by coincidence we had another class together. I decided to make more of an effort to talk to her. By the end of that semester we were quite friendly. She would always wave to me in the halls. Even her one, Indian friend would wave to me when they walked together. She would even go out of her way to talk when I would see her with family out in public.

 

To sum it up. I asked for her number about a month ago. She gave it to me without hesitation. I text occasionally while still seeing her in school.

 

She doesn't respond to my texts often. I asked her about it very bluntly in a text, as is the kind of guy I am. She apologized not too long later in a long drawn out text, saying she is busy and forgets. She mentioned Ramadan, and how she's taking an accelerated 6 week summer math course. I decided that maybe she's messing with me like other girls sometimes do. So I kinda just forget about her a bit. When I see her at school in the coming week she is quick to greet me and is friendly. So I decide to give it another shot later that week. She responds to my text three days later. I reply and see her in school about an hour after my reply. She was quick to ask me if I got her text. I told her I replied an hour ago. She just replied with an, "oh, ok, I didn't check my phone." We ended up talking for almost 20 minutes, till I was running late for class and excused myself. She still doesn't respond to my texts much till this day despite our casual encounters at school.

 

I last talked to her on Monday. She was in a slight state of panic, frantically trying to finish her homework and prepare for her test that Thursday that she was clueless about. I decided to leave her alone to study as she needed all the time she could get. I texted her later to see if she made out OK but no reply. She is definitely studious as she told me she cried when she got a 60 on a test before. I've gotten 30's on tests with no shame, Granted I did make an effort to still pass with a B average in those classes.

 

Any advice or tips?

Edited August 2, 2014 by Mengineer

[FoolishMan]

I gather you are neither Pakistani or Muslim? My experience is that some Pakistani families are very strict and do not like their kids to date outside their own circles. She may like you but yet conscious that she cannot date you (assuming you are not from the same ethnic background) possibly down to family pressures.

 

I would say try to get to know her better.

[ja123]

What are you looking for exactly?

 

 

It sounds like you're both really young.

 

 

And she sounds like a serious girl.

 

 

She probably likes you but feels she needs to put her studies first and listen to her family.

 

 

You're probably best off finding another girl, but again it depends on what you're looking for.

[Mengineer]

I gather you are neither Pakistani or Muslim? My experience is that some Pakistani families are very strict and do not like their kids to date outside their own circles. She may like you but yet conscious that she cannot date you (assuming you are not from the same ethnic background) possibly down to family pressures.

 

I would say try to get to know her better.

 

I am a mix of various ethnic groups.

 

I will continue to take it slow. I'm just not sure how to read her.

[Mengineer]

What are you looking for exactly?

 

 

It sounds like you're both really young.

 

 

And she sounds like a serious girl.

 

 

She probably likes you but feels she needs to put her studies first and listen to her family.

 

 

You're probably best off finding another girl, but again it depends on what you're looking for.

 

I am not that young, 25 years old. I started college late, spent the first few years after high school working. The girl is 22 years old. I'm not looking for a fling or a short term relationship.

[jay1983]

You can do like George on Seinfeld and convert for the sole purpose of dating her. lol

[ja123]

I am not that young, 25 years old. I started college late, spent the first few years after high school working. The girl is 22 years old. I'm not looking for a fling or a short term relationship.

 

 

 

Then in that case, bite the bullet.

 

 

Next time you see her at school, ask her out!!!

[Mengineer]

Then in that case, bite the bullet.

 

 

Next time you see her at school, ask her out!!!

 

 

I was thinking that. My semester ends next week. Hers ends the week after mine.

 

Last week we were talking about her transferring to this other school, about a half hour drive from our area. She has never been to that campus and will have to commute because her parents forbid her living away from home. She told me she was scared about going there. I think I will ask her if she wants to go check out the campus during our few weeks break between summer and fall semesters. It's subtle and can count as a date.

[ja123]

Checking out the campus is a great idea!

 

 

(Just keep in mind, though, that if her parents are strict then they probably won't want her to marry a non-Muslim man. In Islam, Muslim men can marry Christians or Jews (women who have received the Scripture), but Muslim women cannot. The reason for this, is that men are seen as the heads-of-the-household. A Muslim woman's faith is not considered protected if she marries a non-Muslim man).

[Mengineer]

Checking out the campus is a great idea!

 

 

(Just keep in mind, though, that if her parents are strict then they probably won't want her to marry a non-Muslim man. In Islam, Muslim men can marry Christians or Jews (women who have received the Scripture), but Muslim women cannot. The reason for this, is that men are seen as the heads-of-the-household. A Muslim woman's faith is not considered protected if she marries a non-Muslim man).

 

I know, hopefully she's a bit more liberal about it. I have heard her complain about things like this in her religion before. So maybe I got a chance.

[ja123]

I know, hopefully she's a bit more liberal about it. I have heard her complain about things like this in her religion before. So maybe I got a chance.

 

 

 

Yeah, all you can do is try! And you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

 

 

Put it out there, then the ball is in her court.

 

 

Good Luck! Keep us updated ...

[rewl]

You seem to be looking for something like this:

 

http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/nW7K8JN12lk/0.jpg

 

Be careful, there are many racists out there.

[Mengineer]

You seem to be looking for something like this:

 

http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/nW7K8JN12lk/0.jpg

 

Be careful, there are many racists out there.

 

LOL, that's funny. I really don't give a damn. Most people can't tell what race I am because I'm so mixed.

[Mengineer]

Yeah, all you can do is try! And you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

 

 

Put it out there, then the ball is in her court.

 

 

Good Luck! Keep us updated ...

 

Will do.

 

She doesn't like how the men have multiple wives and frown on women's education in her home country, etc. I remember she even showed me a paper she wrote about it. So maybe I got a chance.

 

Besides, she did give me her number, and she does respond to my texts although not as often as I would like.

[smackie9]

A lot of Muslim girls that are going to college in the states date and have sex, etc just like everyone else. They just get their hymen reconstructed by a plastic surgeon before they go back home.

[TB Rhine]

How do you get a Pakistani, Muslim girl?

 

Join the Army, and become one of those guys who pilot the drones.

[smackie9]

Oh, you think such things don't go on there? Of course, how foolish of me. Such a civilised domain....Guess again....

 

Ya there was a case on America's Most Wanted where the father and mother slaughtered both his daughters because they had BFs, etc.

[Mengineer]

Do you guys think its normal that she doesn't text me very often? I guess I mean to say that I'm not used to the sporadic texting I get from this girl. I understand she's busy, but with Ramadan being over I would think she would have a little more time. Or maybe I'm over thinking it.

 

I guess I'm just gonna play it slow like I have been doing. Also, I'll ask her out for the campus tour next week.

 

I'm excited, hope it works out. Thanks to those who tried to help.

[guest569]

Then in that case, bite the bullet.

 

 

Next time you see her at school, ask her out!!!

 

I agree, just ask her. Don't stuff around worrying about her race and religion or how long it is taking her to reply. It's possibly a waste of energy. Ask her out as you would any other woman and then go from there!

[Eau Claire]

How do you get an American...Christian girl?

[Mengineer]

It's a pleasure, don't mention it. It may go some way towards explaining why she is not being flirtatious with you. Such behaviour is generally frowned upon. And you still haven't clarified whether she wears a hijab, which would certainly be an indication to you of how closely she identifies with her culture. Glad to help.

 

Yes, she wears a hijab. She is from Pakistan, moved here five years ago. Of course she is gonna be conservative, etc. Would us simply talking be considered flirtatious? I don't see a difference between texting or talking in person.

 

I don't consider our conversations to be flirting. We just talk about school, and a few personal things.

 

I'm not trying to fool around or con this girl into sex. I'm taking this seriously.

Edited August 3, 2014 by Mengineer

[Mengineer]

I agree, just ask her. Don't stuff around worrying about her race and religion or how long it is taking her to reply. It's possibly a waste of energy. Ask her out as you would any other woman and then go from there!

 

I surely will, next time I see her. Probably Monday or Tuesday.

[BlueIvy]

Honestly speaking, this is gonna be tough because of the different cultures. If she came from Pakistan from 5 years ago, she is probably still conservative. Within that culture, vast majority of Muslims marry Muslims. I actually dated a Muslim but he was crazy and he didn't follow his religion seriously. Based on that experience, I would never date a muslim again.

 

If her family is conservative, you probably will have no luck unless you'e willing to convert.

However, if they are more open, you may have a chance.

 

The only thing that puzzles me is her not texting you back, or taking too long to reply. To me that indicates you aren't high priority. I only do that to people who aren't of high priority in my life.

 

I text this dude like that because I don't really like him but he's been flirty with me. If I liked him that way, I would never forget to text him,lol

 

It seems like you actually like her, ask her out to go to a casual place and based on her response, you will know if she likes you.

[guest569]

Best thing would be to ask her about her culture if you're interested rather than people's experience with certain Muslims or Pakistanis. Everyone is different, every family has its own unique culture.

 

I mean, why is hymenoplasty even mentioned in this thread? Rewind, calm down.. They're friends texting each other. Let's not skip ahead until you hear the response on going out on a date.

[Mrs Carter]

Yes, she wears a hijab. She is from Pakistan, moved here five years ago. Of course she is gonna be conservative, etc. Would us simply talking be considered flirtatious? I don't see a difference between texting or talking in person.

 

I don't consider our conversations to be flirting. We just talk about school, and a few personal things.

 

I'm not trying to fool around or con this girl into sex. I'm taking this seriously.

It is extremely unlikely that she will want to have anything to do with you. A lot of Pakistani girls aren't necessarily that traditional but those don't wear a hijab. If she does it means she is very conservative. ie she will want to get married as a virgin, likely to a muslim man, she was probably taught that sex was shameful so she would be very conservative in bed. She is likely to be submissive in a marriage, she would expect full guidance especially as she isn't an American.

 

As you know nothing about her culture and expectations, I'd suggest you find someone more your 'equal'.